Battered men: an unknown and silenced reality

Spousal violence is sometimes inflicted on men (although little is said about it).

"My boyfriend has committed suicide," said the 37-year-old woman when she alerted the police. Shortly thereafter, based on data gathered from autopsy results and repeated contradictions, the woman was arrested for homicide.

It happened in Valencia last year, and this is one of the few cases of violence by the woman towards a man with whom she had a sentimental relationship. Cases of men being abused by their partners are relatively uncommon, yet those who suffer from it are not.However, those who suffer from it are also victims in need of protection.

Male battering in numbers

According to the report on domestic violence of the General Council of the Judiciary of Spain, the number of men murdered at the hands of their partner or ex-partner would be approximately est.e:

Year20072008200920102011Murders of men261077

The perpetrators were five women and, in the case of homosexual couples, two men, according to 2011 data.

Comparison with gender-based violence

The number of homicides of men at the hands of their partners or ex-partners, however, is not comparable to the number of victims of gender-based violence in quantitative terms.

For example, according to 2009 data, the number of men murdered was 10, while the number of women murdered at the hands of men was 55.. The statistical difference is so substantial that it could be a more than likely explanation as to why there are no specific studies on male victims.

The concept of domestic violence

Abuse by women against men falls under the umbrella of what is known as domestic violence. In addition, the data provided by the National Institute of Statistics of Spain indicate that a quarter of the reports of domestic violence correspond to aggression by the woman against her partner..

It is also known that a high number of women who abuse their partners have suffered violence during their childhood or by one of their partners on previous occasions. The percentage of women who attack their partners without having previously been subjected to violence is much lower than that of men.

Silent and hidden violence

According to data from the report on domestic violence of the General Council of the Judiciary, the average age of male victims of murder at the hands of their partners or ex-partners was 45 years old, and their nationality is usually Spanish.and their nationality is usually Spanish. Only five of them were still living with their aggressor at the time of her death. But what is most significant is that none of the men killed by their partners had filed a complaint.

This type of violence, which is reproduced in the abuse of men, is infrequent, but more invisible and silent compared to other forms of abuse.

Family and friends provide help

The abused have greater difficulty in recognizing that they are the object of these aggressions, they are not able to denounce it and they are not able to do so.They are unable to report it and often have to be helped to press charges by their own family and friends. Male victims of domestic violence tend not to take legal action out of shame.

Thus, the majority of reports are calls for help from family members in their own environment. However, many abused men many of the abused men continue to deny having any such problem, do not accept the situation and believe that they have a problem.They do not accept the situation and believe that what is happening to them is normal.

Battered men and lack of social visibility

The fact that there are few cases of mistreatment of men by their partners means that society is less aware of this phenomenon compared to the opposite case, i.e. the tragedy of male violence that leaves so many victims, as we are unfortunately accustomed to seeing in the news. Likewise, it also happens that the lack of attention from the media, the unfavorable treatment in terms of public aid and the blow to their self-esteem, make a large part of the victims desist from going to the authorities.

The fact is that, culturally, men are supposed to be models of strength.. This is a social cliché as real as it is the opposite; women should have a passive role and dedicate themselves to the care of the children. Thus, the man assaulted by his partner interprets what is happening to him as a sign of his own weakness, and this leads him to question his virility and masculinity instead of being aware of his role as a vulnerable party. It is for all these reasons that victims do not tell their story and it is their lawyers who expose the facts to the authorities.

Examples of abuse and harassment of men

This trivialization of abuse by male victims is easy to see in most cases.

One case in particular is that of a man who, upon arriving home from work, was slapped and had objects thrown at him by his wife. He justified this on the grounds that his wife was mentally ill and that it was not an everyday occurrence. It is, without any nuance, the same justification as in the case of women victims of male violence; gender here is irrelevant, there is an aggressor and a victim who, out of shame, dependence and/or fear, rationalize their situation by sticking to any mitigating factor.

On one occasion, there was the case of a woman sentenced for abuse of her spouse, who is currently awaiting imprisonment. He was being assaulted on a daily basis, ironically he was a large man who worked in security.. He never defended himself from his wife's aggressions, fearing that defending himself would lead to violence on his part, given his social role as a man. He finally filed a complaint.

An unprecedented case is that of a man of normal height and his girlfriend, a very corpulent and athletic foreign woman, who was also very violent. She said she had arrived in Spain fleeing from the authorities in her country for having killed two ex-partners. With the passage of time and events, he ended up believing it. He was constantly assaulted and even broke his foot.. The last time she was arrested was when in the middle of the street she started hitting him in the face with her fist.

After a long time, she finally assumed that she had to report him, something she was terrified of since she believed that he would come after her. After several assaults, she had to flee her own home and took out a restraining order after seeing a doctor, who issued an injury report. However, the restraining order was denied, the restraining order was denied by the judge, who found the victim's story to be implausible as it was about a man.. Four months later, she obtained a divorce; however, the after-effects remained. She is currently on sick leave and undergoing psychiatric treatment for acute anxious-depressive symptoms.

Legal and cultural factors that play against the law

There are countless legal differences when the victim is a man. In Spain, gender violence has a substantially higher penalty than domestic violence, which includes violence against minors in addition to violence by women against men. For example, threats are considered a criminal offense if the victim is a woman, while if the victim is a man, it is classified as a misdemeanor.. Of course, this does not serve to justify gender-based violence, but rather shows a lack of legislation.

This is one of the reasons why the problem is not being tackled: the lack of visibility means that it is not easy to devote time and resources to changing the legal framework and to building support platforms for men. and building support platforms for abused men. Awareness is, in this aspect, a fundamental key for this to change.

Related articles:

• Violence in adolescent dating relationships
• Learned helplessness in victims of maltreatment