Being a mother means knowing these 25 essentials

What unique lessons do women who have been mothers harbor? We explain.

Mothers are, next to our fathers, the most important figures in our lives. They are the people who gave us life and raised us when we couldn't even feed ourselves.

Thanks to mothers we have grown and developed. That is why this post is dedicated to them.

The mother-child relationship: unconditional love

The task of being a mother can be exhausting.. It is a 24-hour job in which, especially in the early years, consumes all the time a mother can possess. Mothers spend the first stages of their children's lives with them, and the attachment that is created in the early stages of this relationship lasts forever.

But what is this attachment? It is nothing more than the emotional and affective ties or bonds that are created in interpersonal relationships. And mothers, of course, are the main protagonists of this beautiful relationship.

Attachment theory: What is it?

Attachment theory is a theory made popular by John Bowlby, who thought that attachment begins in infancy and continues throughout life.He thought that attachment begins in infancy and continues throughout life, and affirmed that there are behavioral control systems that are innate and necessary for the survival and procreation of human beings. Mothers, obviously, are the main players in helping a child develop what is considered the healthiest form of attachment: "secure attachment".

If you have been a mother, you will have already noticed that from a very young age from a very young age, children have an innate behavior that leads them to want to explore new things, they are like mini-explorers.they are like mini-explorers. Now, when they think they are in danger, they quickly run to your arms in search of protection.

Mothers are always there and little ones know it.. Just as you have known it with yours. As you can see, without mothers we would be lost in this world, because it depends on them that we do not develop behaviors that damage our emotional health in the future.

• To learn more about this theory, we invite you to read our article: "The Attachment Theory and the bond between parents and children".

The importance of the maternal role

From birth, the mother is already there, and her child becomes her child becomes familiar with her voice, with her presence.. The mother becomes responsible for the maternal function in the early stages of life, that is, the desire to provide physical and emotional nourishment to infants. But at early ages, the mother's function not only refers to meeting physical needs such as nourishment, but also to providing benign or positive affective stimuli. Studies show that children who are deprived of these affective stimuli frequently die under the condition called hospitalism.

Positive affective stimuli are those innate stimuli that are born from the desire to love that new creature, for example, the sweet and soft tone of voice, smiles, caresses and hugs and the gaze.

• You can read more on this subject in the article: "A mother's gaze and the maternal function: "I am looked at, therefore I am"."

Mothers are there for better and for worse.

Now, the development of a child lasts a lifetime, but until adolescence the maternal figure is of great importance for the offspring. The mother will be in charge of educating a child (together with other educational agents, of course), for example, in values. However, she can also be a bad influence on her child, she can also be a bad influence on her child if she doesn't do things right..

Some mothers, voluntarily or involuntarily, engage in various toxic behaviors that can ultimately harm the emotional health of their offspring. Toxic mothers may engage in some harmful behaviors, such as those shown below:

• They are fixated on gender roles and adopt a submissive attitude toward men.
• They are very conservative
• They have a controlling personality
• They do not trust their children's attitude
• Have a passive-aggressive attitude
• Are indifferent or too permissive
• Are not very affectionate
• Are overly critical
• Project their failures in life onto their children
• Are uncommunicative
• They do not teach them healthy habits

You can learn more about these negative behaviors of mothers in our post: "Toxic mothers: these 12 characteristics make them unbearable".

What every mother should know

Luckily, the vast majority of mothers feel that unconditional love for their children that I spoke about earlier.. 

If you are going to be a mother for the first time, you will be interested to know the 25 points below, because this is a great experience, but sometimes it can be complicated and exhausting:

• You'll become a researcher because you'll be interested in knowing everything about your child: what to eat, what to do, and so on. This is probably what brought you to this article?
• You will try to remember what you used to do when you had free time.
• You will become a big critic... with yourself.
• You'll worry about what you and your children eat.
• You will sacrifice for him or her.
• You will discover a new form of love: maternal love.
• You will be at the limit of your emotional capacity.
• You will learn to appreciate sleep.
• And you will learn to sleep at the times your child sleeps.
• You'll develop eyes in the back of your head.
• You'll realize you didn't know anything about life.
• When your first child is born... you may suffer from postpartum depression.
• You will ask your parents (your grandparents) for help.
• You will think that silence is suspicious.
• You will learn to cure boils with kisses.
• You will become a diaper expert.
• You will become an expert in the sport of saving your child from falling.
• You will realize that every child is different (only when you have your second child).
• You will learn a new language. For example, "aga," for water.
• You'll know what stress really is.
• And, although it will cost you, you'll learn to let his father do things his way because you'll be less stressed.
• You'll enjoy every moment you can use both hands.
• You will get used to living with the things that used to disgust you: spit up, vomit, excrement....
• You will become a child again. For example, when you have to play with your child or watch TV with him or her.