Control anger

Anger arises before certain people or specific situations of threat or displeasure and, if it is not channeled properly, it can lead to uncontrolled reactions and generate problems in the person who feels it and in their relationships with others.

• Anger is an emotion that must be expressed as long as it is channeled in the right way.
• Releasing the physical tension that anger provokes through exercise can be a good way to reduce aggression.
• If you are unable to channel your anger properly yourself and this situation recurs and causes problems, it is advisable to seek the help of a professional psychologist.

The dilemma

Before the appearance of anger, from the outset the person is faced with a dilemma:

• You can choose to try contain her, taking a passive attitude, although this option is detrimental to one's health and the situation that has produced the emotion remains the same. -There is also the risk that anger can build up to an emotional explosion.
• On the other hand you can choose express emotion as it comes out, aggressively, with the possible drawback of harming someone and making the situation worse.

The solution to properly channel anger is to adopt a intermediate formula, trying to make up for the situation; In other words, it is about being able to express the emotion but channel it in an appropriate way.

What I can do?

To achieve this intermediate formula the following indications may be useful:

• To be aware that a feeling of anger is harbored. Many times it can be perceived through certain physiological signals that accompany it: increased blood pressure, alertness, rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, tremors, overheating, etc.
• Try to pause, put distance to reflect and try to attribute words to those sensations; that is, identify exactly what you feel, what has bothered you, the reason for the anger, etc.
• Talk to someone you trust about the situation that has caused this emotional distress.
• Admit frustration; that is, accept that the situation generated has been different from the expectations that were had.
• Become aware that anger is being channeled towards other people or objects but that the emotion always speaks of the person who feels it. It is important to assume it as your own process and not as something foreign, criticizing or blaming others for your own reaction.
• Harboring a feeling of anger produces an intense physical activity which can be interpreted as the body preparing for action and accumulating a tension that it does not release. Therefore, it is necessary and advisable to find a legitimate way to get rid of that tension through physical exercise: walking, or swimming can be ways to release the adrenaline of anger, without confrontation, as well as deep breathing and relaxation techniques can be beneficial. to reduce the feeling of aggressiveness

When the tension has subsided ...

In a second phase, when the initial level of tension has decreased, it is advisable to:

• Express the message to others, communicate adequately through words the impact that their action or attitude has had on oneself. However, it is important that you have planned in advance how to deal with the issue that caused the discomfort. It is from here when one can express one's point of view, what one feels, needs or wants. It is convenient to speak in the first person to avoid that the other feels attacked and adopts a defensive attitude; in other words, it is better to communicate, for example: "I feel bad because I have had to do all the tasks", instead of "you should have helped me, you do nothing".
• Identify solutions for the situation. Work together with the person who caused the discomfort to resolve the issue. This solution means being willing to listen to the other person's version or argument and being able to reach agreements and pacts.
• Once the situation is resolved, it is important turn the page, forget what happened and do not let the rancor or resentment remain inside. Keep in mind that it is unrealistic to expect others to behave exactly as you expect and you have to learn to live with imperfect and unforeseen situations.
• Enhance the sense of humor, looking for the comic side of the situation that produces discomfort.
• If a person cannot adequately channel anger on his own and this situation is repetitive or leads him to have problems with himself or with others, it is advisable seek the help of a professional of psychology.

2018-06-10T18: 47: 27 + 02: 003 November, 2016 | Published by canalSALUD - November 3, 2016

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Summary of content

• The dilemma
• What I can do?
• When the tension has subsided ...

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