Couples therapy, when is it necessary?

Couples therapy is a modality of psychological treatment in which the active participation of both members of the couple is required and in which there is, at the same time, the therapist psychologist who plays the role of coach. For this reason, two of the fundamental aspects are the collaboration of the assistants and the trust they place in the professional.

• The objective is to give the couple alternatives to maintain or improve the relationship.
• New ways of relating are also learned.
• It is important that both members bet on the continuity of the relationship, without giving it up for loss.

Objectives of therapy

The sessions of this type of therapy are intended to help couples find alternatives in how to maintain the relationship, with the aim of improving it, making it viable and more satisfactory for both members, who also learn new ways of relating. Thus, the goals of therapy are:

• Help the couple to communicate, to establish productive dialogues. It is stimulated for the search and empowerment of the resources and skills necessary for a more effective communication between both members.
• Achieve a greater understanding and improvement of them by lowering the level of tension that they entail.
• Learn to negotiate and handle differences, as well as solve certain problems that may appear in the course of the relationship.
• Promote awareness and learn from the relationship, enhancing the personal development of both members. It should be taken into account that well-addressed conflicts can constitute an opportunity for change and development, both individually and as a couple, also reinforcing the links between the two.

Reasons for consultation

There are multiple reasons for consulting a couples therapy but the most common are:

• Communication difficulties.
• Excess of endless discussions or without any hint of a solution. Typically they involve struggles for power and control of the relationship.
• The need to make a difficult decision appears and the members do not know how to face it.
• Feeling that the quality of the relationship begins to deteriorate.
• Jealousy, lack of confidence or.
• Difficulties in expressing affection and intimacy.
• Sexual problems
• Routine and boredom in the relationship become a threat.
• Divergent projects, lack of commitment or a greater desire for freedom on the part of any of the members.
• Verbal or physical violence or abuse.
• Separations or doubts about the continuity of the relationship or about how you feel towards the other member.
• Lack of aspects such as the relationship with the families of origin, the education of the children, the economy, the distribution of obligations and domestic tasks or the use of free time, among others.

To start it successfully ...

Some of the following conditions are necessary to successfully start couples therapy:

• Both members have conviction in wanting to maintain the relationship, betting on continuity without considering it lost or terminated.
• They have already tried various ways to solve their problems on their own or with the help or advice of family and friends and it has not been enough.
• They are both aware and understand that each of them has a certain responsibility when it comes to the quality of the relationship. Therefore, both are willing to try to make certain changes or adjustments in it and are motivated and committed to the process they initiate.
• Each of the parties is capable of showing some empathy or approximation for the position of the other.
• Both parties mention some positive aspects of the relationship and are aware that, regardless of complaints or problems, some aspects of the relationship are working properly (common interests, ability to maintain a good parenting condition or to take care of certain tasks, etc. ).
• Neither party is interested in or currently has an alternative relationship with a third party.