Emotional management: 10 keys to mastering your emotions

Several strategies that can help us to express our feelings.

Emotional management or emotion management refers to being aware of the emotions we feel, accepting them and regulating them if necessary, adapting to the context in which we find ourselves. This process can be quite a challenge, but fortunately, it can be improved through learning.

In this article we will see what emotional management is and how we can develop this ability to boost our personal development and take advantage of the potential of our emotions.

What is emotional management?

The emotional component of the human mind is one of the most important to understand how we think and feel, as well as to know how to adapt to the challenges we face every day.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that considers emotions irrational and practically the enemy of reason.And that leads many people to despise this affective facet of oneself, considering it an obstacle that makes it difficult for us when we try to achieve our goals and improve as people. But the truth is that emotions are part of us and have an important adaptive function, so we must learn to accept them and get along with them as well as possible. In fact, if we manage to enhance the management of emotions, we will make them work in favor of our interests and values, and not against them.

In recent years, the concept of emotional management has been gaining ground with the rise of emotional intelligence, a construct that has generated much interest among psychologists for its benefits for the psychological health of people and their performance in different areas, such as work, sports or academics.

The correct management of emotions determines to a greater or lesser extent the success in different areas of our life, such as interpersonal relationships or work.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a concept popularized by Daniel Goleman, a renowned American psychologist, who made emotional intelligence known worldwide thanks to his best-seller: Emotional Intelligence (1995).

In reality, however, the idea of emotional intelligence had already appeared in the literature thanks to other authors, and derives from Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner, after his research, concluded that there are different types of intelligences, including intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligences. Both are part of emotional intelligence.

Research has confirmed that emotional intelligence helps to

• Improve knowledge of oneself and one's emotions
• Make better decisions
• Improve work performance and productivity
• Reduce and protect against stress, anxiety and depression
• Promote interpersonal relationships and empathy
• Improve personal development
• Improve influence and leadership skills
• Enhance psychological well-being
• Increases motivation and helps to achieve goals
• Better sleep

Emotional management strategies to modulate emotions

Emotional intelligence is a process that includes both emotional awareness of our own and others' emotions and the regulation of our own emotions.

But how do we achieve this? Here are ten strategies to help you we propose ten strategies for you to achieve it.

1. Keep a diary of emotions and become aware of them.

Emotional self-knowledge is the beginning of the correct management of emotions. Without knowing what we feel and how they affect us, we will not be able to regulate our emotions.

The emotions diary is an excellent tool to know your own emotions and to know the effect they have on you. and know the effect they have on your behavior. There are different ways to do it, but here we propose one. Just follow these steps.

• Take a notebook and write down the day
• Take 20 minutes before going to bed to take stock of your day.
• Write down those emotions that have arisen
• Write down how you have been feeling and how this emotion has affected your behavior.

When you have been taking notes for several days in a row, review what you have been writing down and pay attention to the patterns and generalities you find in your experiences.

Also, if there is something that makes you feel bad emotionally, putting it into words will help you overcome it. This phenomenon, known as emotional labeling, consists of moving from diffuse feelings to concrete words expressed through articulated sentences and paragraphs with clear structure, so that in this way you "fix" the meaning of what makes you feel that way and subtract its power over you.

2. Accept yourself as you are

This personal discovery may reveal aspects of your life that you do not like or that you find difficult to see as positive. But you must accept yourself as you are. Emotions are normal and we all feel them. We can all make mistakes because it is part of life..

3. Focus on positive thoughts and do not give prominence to negative ones.

Negative emotions cause great discomfort, so we tend to avoid them.. But the solution is not to look the other way and pretend they do not exist. If you have already done a job of detecting the emotions you feel, analyze them and let them go. Focus on the positive emotions and give the negative ones their due value, but do not dwell on them. Now it is time to repeat to yourself how much you love yourself and how much you will strive to achieve the love of your life: yourself.

4. Have a positive attitude

To achieve this you must do your part.. In the emotional management there is a component that, in many occasions, we overlook: it is the will. To master emotions we must do our part and we must have a positive attitude because it is not always easy to master emotions.

5. Withdraw in time

But of course a positive attitude is only one part of emotional management.. Emotions usually occur because an external stimulus triggers them. If you intend to specialize in the art of emotional intelligence, you will realize that sometimes the best alternative is not to stay in the conflict zone and make the decision to withdraw in time. For example, if someone is provoking you. In these cases, turning around and walking away is an emotionally intelligent decision.

6. Learn to deal with criticism

Maybe what is making you feel bad is not knowing how to deal with criticism and being too concerned about what others think of you. That is a bad option, because emotional well-being is born within oneselfof your own interpretation of the world. Learning to deal with criticism is necessary to be an emotionally balanced person.

7. It releases the tension with the sport

If you want to be calmer you can release the tensions thanks to the physical exercise.. In fact, practicing sport is one of the healthiest alternatives not only physically, but also psychologically. Physical exercise helps you, for example, to reduce stress or to increase your self-esteem.

• If you want to know more about the benefits of practicing physical activity, you can read our post: "The 10 psychological benefits of practicing physical exercise".

8. Attend an emotional management workshop

One of the best ways to become an emotionally intelligent person is through training.. There are many courses and workshops that will help you manage your emotions. They are usually experiential workshops with a lot of participatory dynamics, so the emotional learning will be even entertaining.

9. Practice active listening

If you want to better understand the emotions of others, you can practice active listening.. Many times we hear and do not listen, because we are more concerned with what we are going to say than with what the other person is saying both verbally and non-verbally. Active listening is listening in its totality, since verbal language is approximately 30% of what we communicate. The rest is non-verbal language.

10. Practice Mindfulness

One of the most useful strategies to better manage emotions is Mindfulness. Mindfulness is actually a philosophy, but nowadays different techniques are used to put it into practice.

In this sense Mindfulness is simple, as it only requires adopting a way of evaluating events, characterized, for example, by self-compassion, attention in the present moment, or non-judgmental mindset. However, although it is simple, its practice requires will and effort, so it is not easy and needs to be worked on.

How will it benefit you to enhance your ability to manage your emotions?

Among the benefits of correct emotional management, the following advantages stand out:

• Prevention of problematic ways of managing stress or anxiety (taking drugs, eating without hunger, etc.).
• Ease of adapting your behavior depending on the emotional state of the people you socialize with.
• Greater predisposition not to give in to distractions and to focus on the tasks that need to be done, without leaving them for later.
• Greater ability to maintain a balanced self-esteem without being biased by pessimism.
• Ease in detecting and identifying emotions and knowing how to channel them.
• Ability to take advantage of the motivational component of emotions to use them in our favor.