Emperor syndrome: bossy, aggressive and authoritarian children.

The masters of the house: children who exercise control over their parents.

Changes in the sociocultural and work environment in recent decades have been paving the way for the emergence of some dysfunctional behaviors in children.

One of the sets of attitudes and behaviors that most concern parents is that of the child who becomes the undisputed master of the family. the undisputed master of the familyand submitting the other members of the family to his or her demands and whims.

Do you know the 'Emperor Syndrome'?

Educational psychologists have already named it Emperor Syndrome emperor children', who choose what food to cook, where the family will travel for vacations, the TV channel to watch at home, the time to go to bed or to carry out different activities, etcetera.

In professional contexts, the Emperor Syndrome is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).

To achieve their purposes, they yell, threaten and physically and psychologically assault their parents. It could be said that their maturational level in the area of empathy (the ability to put oneself in the other person's shoes) is underdeveloped. For this reason it seems that they are not able to experience feelings such as love, guilt, forgiveness or compassion.

Entering the mind of the authoritarian child

This phenomenon has been given the name 'Emperor Syndrome', since emperor children set behavioral and interpersonal patterns to privilege their whims and demands over the authority of their parents or guardians. Whoever does not comply with the child's imperatives is the victim of outrageous tantrums and even aggression.

The violence exercised by children towards their parents, learning to psychologically control them, results in getting them to obey and comply with their wishes. This characteristic in the personality of the children has also received the denomination of "dictator children", because of the unquestionable dominion that they exercise in the family bosom.

Symptoms

Emperor children are easily distinguishable: they usually show personality traits of egocentrism and have a low frustration toleranceThey cannot conceive of their demands not being met. These traits do not go unnoticed in the family environment, and even less so in the school environment, where their demands may be less satisfied.

They are children who have not learned to control themselves or to regulate their own feelings and emotions. They have the expertise to know the weaknesses of their parents, whom they end up manipulating based on threats, aggressions and fickle arguments.

Causes

Although some researches have tried to elucidate the genetic causes of this syndrome, the truth is that there is a great consensus among the scientific community that the Emperor Syndrome has causes of psychosocial origin. Thus, the decisive influence of the change in the work and social model, a factor that affects the amount and quality of time that parents can devote to their children, is pointed out.

Many educational psychologists and psychopedagogues have stressed that one of the parenting factors that can lead to the child acquiring behavioral patterns of the Emperor Syndrome is the lack of parental time to to educate and establish norms and limits and limits to their offspring. Economic needs and the unstable labor market do not offer guardians the necessary time and space for parenting, resulting in an educational style of guilt and a tendency to overindulge and overprotect their children.

A lack of affectionate family habits is also often observed in these children. affective family habitsneglecting the need to play and interact with their children. Socially, one of the problems that serves as a breeding ground for self-centered egocentric behavior children is the ultra-permissive attitude of adults towards the little ones.

• You may be interested in reading this post: "10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem".

Differentiating between Authority and Authoritarianism

The prevailing educational style decades ago was based on the authoritarianismParents who shouted, dictated orders and exercised punitive control over their children's behavior. In a way, for fear of falling back into that style that many suffered in their own flesh, the current educational style has veered towards the opposite extreme: ultra-permissiveness. ultra-permissiveness.

That is why it is important to remember that authority is not the same as authoritarianism: parents must exercise a controlled and intelligent degree of authority, in a healthy way and adapting to the educational and evolutionary needs of each child.

The culture of anything goesthe ethics of hedonism and consumerism

When we talk about education and educational styles for our children, it is necessary to remember the crucial influence of the moral values of society as a whole, since this superstructural form of shared ethics will encourage certain vices and/or virtues in the child's attitude.

The consumerist culture culture today champions hedonism and the need for leisure and speed as inalienable values. This clashes with any kind of internal or external imposition of responsibility for one's own actions and with the culture of effort. If these values are not well managed and redirected, children erroneously learn that their right to have a good time or to do whatever they please can override the right of others to be respected, and they lose the notion that rewards require prior effort.

Education in the family and at school

Doubtful parents who exercise a passive and lax education passive and lax educationThey neglect to establish frames of reference for their children's behavior, always allowing them to reply, giving in to their blackmail and even becoming victims of verbal and physical aggression.

The educational system is also saturated. While parents have already ceded all their authority, teachers are faced with the task of setting limits for children who have been brought up to disobey and defy them in pursuit of their demands. It happens that teachers who try to establish rules are met with disapproval and complaints from parents, who do not allow anyone to exercise any authority over their children. This reinforces and consolidates the child emperor's attitude.

The child emperor in adolescence

At the adolescent stage, the child emperors have consolidated their behavioral and moral patternsThey are incapable of conceiving of any kind of external authority to impose certain limits on them. In the most serious cases, they may even assault their parents, a complaint widely reported in police stations and increasingly frequent. In fact, it is mothers who bear the brunt, who suffer a comparatively higher proportion of aggression and humiliation from their children.

Building a good upbringing from childhood

Professionals in the fields of psychology, psycho-pedagogy and mental health agree that it is essential to lay a solid foundation in the education of children. In order to educate healthy, free and responsible children, adolescents and adults of the future, it is necessary not to renounce to setting clear limitsWe must allow children to experience a certain degree of frustration so that they can understand that the world does not revolve around their ego, and gradually instill in them a culture of effort and respect for others. Only in this way will they be able to tolerate frustration, commit to their objectives and strive to achieve their goals, becoming aware of the value of things.

For more information on practical tips to avoid having an emperor child, we recently published this article:

• "The 8 basic tips to not spoil your child".

A psychologist talks to us about the Emperor Syndrome

Vicente Garrido, prisologist and criminologist at the University of Valencia, offers us his professional vision about tyrant children in a complete interview in EiTB.

Bibliographical references:

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• Bruner, J. (1997). La educación, puerta de la cultura. Madrid: Aprendizaje Visor.
• Burman, E. (1998). La deconstrucción de la psicología evolutiva. Madrid.
• García Galera, Mª del C. (2000). Television, violence and childhood. The impact of the media.
• Kimmel, D.C. and Weiner, I.B. (1998). Adolescence: a developmental transition. Barcelona: Ariel.
• Piaget, J. (1987). El criterio moral en el niño. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
• Pinker, S. (2001). El instinto del lenguaje. Madrid: Alianza Editorial.