Facebook jeopardizes our relationships

The famous social network may be jeopardizing the well-being of couples. Why?

There has been a lot of talk about whether the Internet and new technologies keep us isolated or not. It is natural, considering that the image of someone paying full attention to a screen is very iconic and eye-catching.

However, there is a debate that has opened up more recently: can social networks such as Facebook jeopardize our love relationships, regardless of whether or not we break the rules we have set with our partners?

Some research, such as the one published in the journal Cyberpsychology & Behavior, points to the possibility that Facebook is acting as a driver of couple conflicts and episodes of jealousy that do not and episodes of jealousy that would not appear if this social network did not exist. Let's take a look at the reasons why this may be the case.

The seed is insecurity, in social networks.

Insecurity and poor self-image are, by themselves, ingredients that can lead to very intense relationship crises.. The fact of not having too much confidence in oneself can also cause us to lose confidence in others, leading us to think that since they are above us, they will take advantage of the opportunities they have to deceive us.

In the case of relationships, the same thing can happen, but with an added problem: the fact of distrusting others and feeling insecure.and the stereotype of couple roles as a relationship dynamic in which one has to control the person one loves, can lead to a false sense that one has the legitimacy to try to control the other person. Of course, this not only damages the relationship, but leads to actions that infringe on the partner's freedom and causes suffering that cannot be justified.

Too much information?

What does Facebook have to do with this? Well, basically, that this social network can be an enhancer of insecurity, anxiety and distrust.

On the one hand, Facebook floods us with information about the other person. Information that we probably would not have "discovered" in a context of face-to-face interaction with the other person, but which is also tremendously ambiguous, not being in context.

The fact of having a lot of information that is, moreover, insufficient to understand what it refers to, can be the bomb that detonates all insecurities and promotes distrust, because it because it forces us to mentally complete the incomplete data we receive.... which does not always lead to pleasant conclusions. Somehow, the fact that the more pessimistic and alarming explanations carry greater excitement and emotional charge means that the kinder hypotheses are overshadowed and lose prominence: they may be the right ones, but.... but what if they are not?

Some examples of couples that break up

In a study published in Anthropological Quarterly in 2011, some examples of how insecurity and incomplete information can lead to conflicts in love can be seen. In this research, a series of interviews were conducted with several people who have stated that Facebook has been harmful to their relationships (some of them, even deleting their profile on this social network for that reason).

Some of the answers given refer to photographs, which most of the time appear out of context to most people. This leads to thoughts along the lines of "when and where was this picture taken with her?" or "why did she stand next to him to have the picture taken?". One may also think about the fact that the person in question still has his or her ex-partner added or interacts with some of his or her publications, and even the fact that the other person knows and regularly interacts with someone unknown to us, whom we consider very attractive or attractive, can cause anxiety. who we consider very attractive.

These are situations that by themselves do not lead to mistrust, but can give rise to a dynamic that forces people to consider all options in order to fill in the missing information. And, as soon as the first pessimistic explanation appears, doubts appear: rationality and Ockham's razor have little power in the face of irrational fear.