Fear of compromise

• One of the most common reasons why this fear appears is having been harmed by someone before or having witnessed this harm in close people.
• It usually manifests itself in immature and not very autonomous people, as well as in very demanding people or with difficulties expressing their own emotions, or with low self-esteem.
• A relationship of complicity and trust in the couple is essential for fears to disappear.

I want to but I can not

People with this fear often want to initiate and establish solid relationships, but on the other hand they are afraid of making a commitment.

On the other hand, you must be aware that it is not negative to be alone, as long as it is a decision chosen for the appropriate reasons and not as a shield to protect against what could happen if you were with someone.

Who suffers it the most

The fear of commitment can be suffered by anyone, but there are some more prone to it.

The possible reasons for its appearance and what types of people are the most vulnerable to suffering from it are detailed below:

• One of the most common reasons is having been harmed by someone in the past or having witnessed that harm in significant other people (for example, a father or mother abandoned by their partner or betrayed by an infidelity). We are talking about people who gave their trust, their time and their dedication to someone they considered special and they hurt. For these people, love is also equivalent to pain and they want above all to avoid being hurt again. In this way, they prefer to be the ones who leave a certain relationship before being abandoned again. That is why they can have relationships for a certain period of time but they change people without thinking before the love for the other begins to develop.
• It usually manifests itself more frequently in immature and poorly autonomous people. These people, who have usually been overprotected or educated according to a highly permissive model, can be scared of having to take responsibility for their own actions and therefore often feel incapable of having to make such a momentous decision as a commitment in the couple.
• Fear of commitment can also affect certain very demanding people more easily, with a tendency to establish rigid rules and have everything under control. They may have difficulties, feel insecure and distress when sharing their own life with a partner.
• There are also a more superficial type of people or people who have difficulties expressing their own emotions who may reject a commitment to a partner due to an inferiority complex or feeling.
• Another type of people who may be more prone to this fear are those with very low self-esteem, who do not appreciate their body, do not consider themselves attractive or hate some aspect of their personality. These people do not feel worthy of love and sometimes they do not even try to have a partner.

How to act?

A person who wants to overcome the fear of commitment must be willing to detect and work towards solving the reasons that led to this situation. It is important that you can adapt to the change that consolidating one implies and you must be able to contemplate the benefit that you obtain by maintaining that relationship, feeling motivated by it.

Coping with the situation must be done ensuring that it does not involve excess insecurity, anguish and lack of control. Confidence and self-assurance will make you feel valued and keep you from always thinking that others are going to hurt you.

A relationship of complicity and trust in the couple is essential for fears to disappear. Likewise, it must be taken into account that in certain cases, the help of a psychologist may be advisable to work in greater depth on the reasons and solutions to said problem.