Guidelines to follow when a child is in denial about an addiction

Tips for parents to help a son or daughter who does not recognize his or her addiction.

Many parents decide to see a specialist when they begin to see that their children do not accept that they have a problem with an addiction.. This is because many young people who use drugs or alcohol do not consider it a problem, but simply see it as something they do for fun and can stop whenever they want.

No matter how much you talk to them, and no matter how concerned they are, the addict will always reassert his position that what he is doing is not a problem, even taking refuge in the Manichean argument that the only thing that is happening is that his parents are trying to control his life and everything he does. He is not capable of admitting that there is a problem, and a serious one.

"No, I am not addicted".

One of the most common and common symptoms that there is an addiction is precisely the denial of it. It occurs when the person cannot see or recognize that the situation is occurring. The reason is that, at first, he does not see that there is any change, so in his eyes, what he is doing is something harmlessA drink now and then, a joint when he goes out with friends... This makes him think that he is in complete control of the situation, when in fact he is not.

This first phase of addiction is called the pre-contemplation stage. In this stage, the addict is not yet aware of the real problem, and therefore does not consider that anything needs to be done about it.

To make a positive change in a person's life, he or she needs to be able to see reality. In most cases, this is difficult because the addict tends not to want to believe that something negative is happening. However, those who are aware of their situation and who have the opportunity and the will to change tend to do better than those who remain unaware of it. And worst of all, at this stage of addiction there is little the rest of us can do for the addict.

The contemplation phase

The contemplation phase is the stage in which the individual decides that he or she wants to change his or her behavior and live a life without addiction.. This phase usually begins when the addict realizes that he or she has a problem with drinking, drugs or any other substance or behavior. This is the point at which work can begin to achieve detoxification.

However, despite the fact that at this point the addict already knows that something is going on, he/she still does not decide to make the situation change even though he/she is aware that it is not going well.

It is a goal of any therapy to help the person reach this stage of contemplation, as it is the first step towards confronting the addiction. Parents, friends and family members can help a lot to achieve this, although it can be very complicated.although it can be very complicated.

What can we do about this situation as parents?

There are many different treatments available to help addicts. Of course, you can never give the same treatment to two different addicts, since each person has his or her own problems and way of coping with them.. It depends on the individual's personal needs and what they want their life to be like at the end of treatment.

Treatments are based on theoretical models that have proven to be effective, although each professional approaches therapies differently, based on each person.

Two concepts to keep in mind: reactance and freedom.

Within addiction there are two important concepts, reactance and freedom of the addict.

When we talk about reactance, we are referring to the possibility that the person feels under pressure or forced to do something.. This will result in him/her doing the opposite of what he/she is supposed to do. Keep in mind that, in general, nobody likes to be dictated what to do, how to behave, so imagine if you are dealing with an addict. Therefore, it is best to avoid excessive pressure or confrontations and orders that have to do with addiction.

The concept of freedom is closely related to what we talked about earlier. We do not want to feel that nothing or no one is pressuring us, and that we have free will. For this reason, to help an addict become aware of his situation, we must give him space, but at the same time, show him the reality.. A good idea is to help him to reflect and express himself.

In spite of everything we have talked about, there is a hard reality, that it is not easy to make him see that an addiction exists. Very often it is a process that lasts over time, and sometimes it can be downright frustrating.