Half of our friendships may not be reciprocated, study finds

Can friendship be something of a mirage? Research points to "yes.

Friendship is one of the most important elements in most people's lives, but, at the same time, it is very difficult to quantify.

This is so, among other things, because, just as in relationships, friendship is not something that can be possessed by oneself, but rather a relationship dynamic that involves more than one person.. And this is what often makes it unclear whether the degree of intensity that we attribute to this relationship is close to the way in which the other person perceives this affective bond.

When friendship is a mere imposture?

But, as the human being is an animal and intelligent, surely we are very good at assessing whether our friends consider us as friends? aren't we?

A recent study published in PLOS ONE suggests that about half of our friendships may be unrequited. approximately half of our friendships may be unrequited.. That is, in one case out of two, the person we think is our friend does not see us as a relevant friendship, which could make them be considered false friends or, simply, people whose courtesy is taken for a true attachment.

How was the research conducted?

A group of 84 people ranging in age from 23 to 38 years old was used as the sample group to conduct this research. The purpose of the study was to see to what extent the relational dynamics of a community of people affect the persuasion of its members, the creation of currents of opinion, and so on. However, one of the things that attracted the most attention was related to another issue.

In order to have data to work with, the researchers asked them to rate from 1 to 5 the degree to which they considered other people as friends, with 1 being "a stranger" and 5 being "best friend". In addition, each individual was asked to rate, also on a 5-point scale, the degree to which he or she believed the other person considered him or her a friend..

The results

Overall, the vast majority of participants were optimistic about how well reciprocated they were in their friendships.. In 94% of the cases, people used the same number to quantify the degree of friendship they felt and the degree to which they believed the other person reciprocated. In other words, there was a clear tendency to believe that relationships were symmetrical and bidirectional.

Judging from the data obtained, this optimism was based more on wishful thinking. In 47% of the cases, the scores obtained were not the same..

False friends? What are their dark motivations?

There are many ways to interpret these results. One of them is to simply believe that the conclusions reached by this research do not correspond to reality. After all, it is only one study, and it is possible that errors may have occurred in the sampling, design or analysis of the data. Furthermore, it is true that this could occur only in certain cultures or populations, and not in all the inhabitants of the planet. To know this would require more research.

Another way to take it is to believe that the results of this study are a reflection of what really happens in our relationships. It could be that we humans are exceptionally bad at distinguishing between real friends and real people. (which correspond to us) and others who only act in a similar way as a friend would.

But there is also another possible explanation: that these findings show the consequences of having many non-antagonistic personal relationships. That is, in an age when it is common to have 400 contacts on Facebook, many of whom congratulate us on our birthdays without hardly knowing us, it is increasingly difficult to know who is being friendly in a totally spontaneous way and who is only acting in this way out of courtesy.

At the end of the day, in a culture where image matters more and more, posturing and appearances can also come to envelop what was once our network of relationships based on honesty and affection.