How do narcissistic people negatively affect us?

This is how narcissism damages personal relationships in many different ways.

What in psychology is understood as narcissism is a phenomenon as complex as it is problematic if it is not well managed in personal relationships.

Although people with a narcissistic propensity tend to direct the focus of their attention towards themselves, this has very important implications in their behavior towards others.

Therefore, in this article we will see how we are negatively influenced by people with such a high level of narcissism that it is problematic..

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is a psychological phenomenon characterized above all by two elements: the tendency to think of oneself as more important than others or possessing characteristics that make one worthy of privileged treatment, on the one hand, and, on the other, the need to see reflected in the treatment offered by others the idea that we are very special. the need to see reflected in the treatment offered to us by others the idea that we are very special, on the other hand.on the other.

Therefore, in narcissism there is a paradox: in a certain sense we believe we are superior to the rest, but this feeling of greatness leads us to be more dependent on others and to suffer more frustration when the rest do not treat us in a way in accordance with these assumptions. That is, on the one hand, their self-esteem is very "inflated" but on the other hand, it is very vulnerable and can be easily "punctured", leading to emotional crises and, in most cases, to a very hostile or even aggressive attitude when this happens.

• You may be interested in "What can I learn from narcissistic personality disorder?"

Personality trait or psychological disorder?

It is important not to confuse the concept of "narcissism", plain and simple, with the narcissistic personality disorder. In the first case, we are talking about a psychological trait that is present to a greater or lesser extent in virtually all people, since depending on the context and our mental state at key moments, we can all behave showing a certain inclination towards narcissism.

In the second case, however, we are referring to a psychopathological phenomenon that is part of personality disorders. This group of disorders is made up of disorders that are closely linked to the behavioral patterns that shape the personality of the person who develops them, and are therefore very complex to treat in therapy. Here, narcissism is not only very pronounced, but also produces qualitative changes in the way the individual acts towards others and towards himself. produces qualitative changes in the way in which the individual acts before others and before him/herself, and that causes his/her quality of life and that of some of the people around him/her to be damaged.The quality of life of the individual and some of the people around him/her is damaged.

In the case of narcissistic personality disorder, it occurs in a very small portion of the population, slightly less than 1%. However, where it occurs, it is important to know its characteristics in order to avoid as far as possible certain complications arising from misunderstandings or lack of information about how to deal with a person who has developed this disorder. Therefore, in the following lines we will address the issue of how pathologically narcissistic people affect us.

How do highly narcissistic people affect us?

These are the main ones implications for others of dealing with someone who is extremely narcissistic.:

• They constantly seek external validation: showing something they have done and not seeing how much others like it can lead to a hostile attitude in them.

• They do not take well to not being in charge of the conversation: they want to decide at every moment what topic is being talked about and when they can speak even if it means interrupting.

• They show a lack of sensitivity when dealing with sensitive topics or topics that make someone involved in the conversation feel vulnerable; many times, this contributes to maintaining their dominant role in the dialogue.

• They turn any topic into a monologue about themselves and their lives: they almost always prefer to talk about their lives rather than abstract topics.

• Before admitting a mistake of their own, they blame others for what happened, even getting angry.

• It is practically impossible to give them constructive criticism without them taking it very badly.

• It is common for them to belittle the merits and achievements of others, contributing to lower the self-esteem of those around them.

• Capitalize on conversations even if they know nothing about the subject.

• They have a tendency to want to control in an obsessive and dominant way the behavior of their partners, which easily triggers situations of physical and/or psychological abuse.

• They prioritize the hedonic enjoyment of the here and now over the creation of lasting and stable affective and social bonds; this can cause them to break their word easily, because they believe they have that right.

• The importance of marking boundaries

  When dealing with people with a very high level of narcissism, it is important not to get carried away by their tendency to want to constantly absorb the attention and favors of others and to establish, through assertiveness, the limits that should not be crossed.

  This implies assuming that the other person may be upset, but, in any case, saying in a very direct way what we are not willing to tolerate, referring to concrete actions and without unnecessarily attacking the person, but rather criticizing certain behaviors. In these cases The crucial thing is not that the other person knows how to deal with these criticisms, but that he/she knows that he/she cannot tolerate them.but that he/she knows that he/she cannot allow certain toxic attitudes.

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