How to eliminate negative emotions from our mind
Examining the influence of guilt and worry on our psychological well-being.
If you think that guilt or worry have any positive contribution in your life, it means that you have a distorted perception of reality.
Emotions such as guilt and worry are increasingly prevalent in today's society. It is becoming more and more common to observe stressed out people who are "sinking in a glass of water" over situations that perhaps, in their own lives, they may not be aware of.for situations that perhaps, in the prism of others, are not so serious.
What are negative emotions?
The destructive power of negative emotions is mainly due to the influence they had in our childhood. We learned from an early age, during our first and second childhood development, that if we did not feel bad about some mistake we made or did not care enough about the future, we would not be able to correct some attitude or solve some problem.
From an early age we were taught these types of negative emotions in order to instruct our conduct and correct certain types of behavior.. This problem is mainly expressed in our maturity stage, since both guilt and worry can be really harmful emotions for our emotional well-being, exposing us to manipulations and falling into self-punishing behaviors.
Why guilt and worry are negative emotions
The problem with guilt and worry lies mainly in the fact that we waste all our present moments punishing ourselves for things that have already happened or that we want to happen in the future. Because of this type of negative thinking, our ability to enjoy and connect with life is severely diminished. and connection with life is severely impaired.
Although both emotions are theoretically intended to help us correct behaviors or look for possible solutions to problems, both also serve a useless purpose in our lives, since they only manage to keep us immobilized in the face of adversity. This type of "immobilization" can be observed both in guilt behaviors and in feelings of anxiety or fear before a possible event.
Guilt can serve as retribution in itself and as permission to repeat the same behavior -Osho.
A society that leads us to constant worrying
Today's society is full of people who feel bad about something they should not have done, or are stressed about things that might happen.
With guilt, they feel overwhelmed by some attitude from the past, while with worry they feel anxious about things that have not yet happened and, to make matters worse, will probably never happen.
Chances are that you, dear reader, find yourself in this same situation on some occasions.. If you frequently feel trapped by any of these emotions, it is necessary to work with them in order to start building the future by leaving these negative and paralyzing emotions aside.
How to eliminate the feeling of guilt
Beginning to see the past as something that cannot be changed, no matter how you feel about it, is fundamental to eliminating these negative emotions. You can use phrases such as: "My feeling of guilt is not going to change or improve anything that happened" since no feeling that involves punishing yourself can bring about any positive change in your attitude or in your current life.
If you want a significant change in the way you respond to the guilt-ridden manipulations of your thinking, begin by incorporating the following guilt-freeing strategies into your life.
1. Accept your behavior without beating yourself up about it.
Live fully in the present moment and then seek some constructive solution. Choosing to feel guilty and punish yourself for what happened will not solve anything, nor will it ensure that your behavior will change. At best, you will get a "band-aid" solution that will soon fizzle out.
2. Set yourself appropriate times to take care of your business and obligations.
Ask yourself what it is you have been avoiding.Reflect on whether your guilt is caused by avoiding a situation or responsibility, and deal with it!
3. Assert your position of not punishing yourself.
If any individual has a position contrary to yours and tries to manipulate you through guilt, start by respecting your position of not choosing to self-punish, start by respecting your position of not opting for unhelpful feelings that involve self-punishment, and reflect constructively on your own position. and reflect constructively on whether your attitude serves a purpose or is only hurting you.
4. Start by accepting things in yourself that may not please others.
Remember that it is impossible to please everyoneRemember that it is impossible to please everyone, your behavior does not have to be labeled as bad or good according to the opinion of others. Prioritize your happiness and harmony before external acceptance.
5. Take note of all the situations that make you feel guilty.
You can write down the why, when and who of the situation.The following is an example of how to eliminate worry, and then analyze and determine if you really need to make a change in your attitude.
How to eliminate worry
To eliminate worry, start by changing your perception of the future.. Stop perceiving it as something you must be aware of all the time, so you will move away from obsessive thoughts that only bring you anxiety and fear.
You can use phrases like: "Only what I do in the present can determine my future". If you apply this maxim, you will see that it is absurd to worry about things that have not yet happened, especially if they deprive us of living in the present moment.
Allow yourself to employ the following strategies to free yourself from your feelings of worry and start taking charge of your life.
- Start by taking care of the problem when you feel the need to worry about a situation: the best antidote for healing worry is action.
- Recognize how inconsistent it is to worry about things that have not yet happened.Ask yourself frequently the question: Will it make a difference that I am worried? In spite of what may happen, will I still be able to do valuable things for myself and others?
- Allow yourself shorter and shorter periods of time to feel worried.We can start by doing three 10-minute sessions a day to feel worried. It is important to remember that we should do our best to feel worried only at set times.
- Make a list of all the worries of yesterday, last week or the previous year ****rYou can check this list to convince yourself that your worries were often not so serious, since you are still alive today. Notice how in each situation it was the occupation that succeeded in building a solution, while the worry had no positive effect.
Why were we taught these negative emotions?
The main reason we were taught negative emotions such as guilt or worry is largely due to our cultural values, as it is considered "inappropriate" not to feel bad and not to punish ourselves for our problems. it is considered "inappropriate" not to feel bad and not to punish ourselves for our problems..
All this cultural legacy is related to the importance we give to our problems, since our culture teaches us that, if we really care about a person or a particular issue, we should show our concern by feeling guilty about a "bad" attitude we have had, or by exposing our concern to show our affection.
It is as if we are taught that exposing our Pain and emotional discomfort is a fundamental requirement to show affection and importance to others.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)