How to face the crisis of the 40?

The American Psychologist Daniel J. Levinson he was the first to conceptualize it. The crisis of 40, also called "Midlife crisis"It is the one that appears when, on the verge of the fourth decade, we take stock of our life course. We analyze what we have always wanted to be or have and what we really are and have and conclude that they do not match. It is highly influenced by the social pressure to which we are subjected to fulfill certain expectations social, such as finding the love of our life, having children, professional success, an enviable physique, being surrounded by friends, etc. It arises from questions such as: do I want this life for the rest of my life? Have I wasted my time? What have I not done yet? And ultimately: have I failed?

Symptoms of the midlife crisis

In this stage abrupt and not very solid changes usually appear in the person; symptom that could indicate that the person is facing the crisis of forty. Some of those signs are:

• Start going out more at night
• Get aesthetic treatments and operations
• To be unfaithful
• Spending money on luxuries or whims
• Make fantasies and dreams come true

So some people consider that "the crisis of 40" is like the second "age of the turkey".

Causes and factors

There are some factors or causes that could lead to the dreaded midlife crisis, such as:

• Absence of new stimuli
• Routine in the couple
• Unsafety
• Excess of responsibilities
• Isolation
• Low selfsteem

Turn years affects differently to men and women, since socially different things are expected in each sex and it has to do with gender roles. We are also in a society that overvalues ​​youth, equating it to success, dynamism, desirability, etc. So the loss of youth is associated with the opposite. This affects both genders, but it generates different reactions.

Women and the crisis of 40

The women tend to worry more about being mothers and the possibility of not having children, something that is directly related to the impending. On the other hand, women they feel more vulnerable on a physical level due to aesthetic pressures and the social ideal of beauty. So the crisis usually affects them more at the level of self-esteem and personal security, embarking on aesthetic operations or look changes.

Men and the crisis of 40

Men tend to get more frustrated for not having met their professional expectations or not having achieved the desired status. In addition, they tend to try to make up for lost time or what they consider was missing in another era. This often results in infidelities or flight from commitment.

How long does it last? Can I avoid it?

Regarding the duration, it can be very variable depending on the person; days or even years, depending on how it is managed. A person with skills to face and solve problems, who has a good social network and hobbies, you will feel the crisis of the forties little or nothing. People very self-demanding or with very rigid beliefs about beauty and success are likely to feel the effects of the crisis more. Each person interprets reality in a unique way, so there are no facts that affect all people equally. There are basically two types of crisis:

• Circumstantial: it occurs in the face of a major change that causes our stability to break down (a near death, a job dismissal, a separation, etc.)
• Evolutionary: periods of psychological discomfort due to the changes of each stage of life such as a change in roles or biological transitions. We find examples of this in adolescence, when we become independent, before marriage, when we become parents, when we suffer from the empty nest syndrome, with the arrival of retirement, etc. The crisis of the forties belongs to this type of crisis, the evolutionary one.

Although not all people have to fall into crisis under the same circumstances, there is no life without crisis, they are inevitable. Well managed Give place to personal growth but, mismanaged give rise to a psychopathology (depression, anxiety, etc.), which would indicate the need for.

Tips for dealing with middle age

• Open up possibilities and de-dramatize: more than a crisis, we should reinterpret it as a change in perspective or in the way of interpreting life. Find the way that this is to enrich your life.
• Search solutions concrete problems, rather than putting all your difficulties in a generic and unsolvable bag called "crisis".
• Build- Create new goals, without obsessing over it. Also remember to value all that is advanced.
• Ditch the cliches. Each person has their way of approaching things. Not all people who turn 40 have to feel the same way.
• Youth ... divine treasure? Reinforces your critical spirit. Each stage of life has its charms. Learn to value them.
• Learn of the experience.
• Put aside your impulsiveness. Don't make big decisions without thinking about them.
• Much humor.
• .
• But above all ... worry about maturing more than getting old.

CALCULATE YOUR PRICE

What you should know:

• The crisis of the 40s is the one that appears when, on the verge of the fourth decade, we take stock of our life course.
• Regarding the duration, it can be very variable depending on the person: days or even years, depending on how it is managed.
• Well managed so personal growth. Poorly managed so psychopathology (depression, anxiety, etc.), which would indicate the need for psychotherapeutic help.

Specialist in Clinical Psychology