How to forget an impossible love, in 5 steps

It is difficult to forget a partner who has marked us. But with these tips it is easier.

Experiencing impossible love is one of the most frustrating and painful sensations that a human being can go through. human beings can go through. If requited love can make you tremendously happy, impossible love can turn your life into a real ordeal, especially if you meet that person often, either at work or at the gym.

The pain of an impossible love can be so strong that it can lead you to a depressive state if you do not change a series of habits that are detrimental to your emotional balance. In this article you can find some tips to overcome impossible love and get out of this damaging situation.

The chemistry of falling in love

Falling in love is a complex phenomenon that involves both Biological and cultural variables.. When we feel attraction for someone, our brain changes and a series of chemical reactions occur within it, especially in the area of reinforcement, which causes us to change our perception of the world. The chemistry of love or infatuation alienates us, hijacks our attention, makes us obsessive and can even depress us if we cannot consummate this strong feeling or impulse, and can turn our life into a living hell.

Consummated love makes us feel good because it causes our brain to release dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin among other neurotransmitters and hormones, so we feel excited, full of energy and our perception of life is magnificent when we are with our partner.

But when it is not possible to have with us the person we want to be with so much, the chemical cascade descends and causes serious problems for our emotional stability. For example, serotonin levels decline, which is associated with depressive and obsessive behaviors, just as it happens when we stop using a drug to which we are addicted.

• To learn more: "The chemistry of love: a very potent drug."

The Romeo and Juliet Effect

It would be perfect if we fell in love and simply gave free rein to our heart.because consummate love makes us live unforgettable moments. Unfortunately, relationships are not always that simple and, in some cases, conflicts can cause us to end the love commitment we had with the one we considered to be the most important person in our life.

On other occasions, love is simply impossible because the other party has a partner or goes to live on the other side of the world, which makes this love unfeasible and unrealizable. The truth is that, regardless of the reason, impossible love can hurt us if we do not adopt a series of strategies that allow us to face this situation in the best possible way.

Experts say that when we feel the feeling of falling in love and we cannot be with that person, what is called "Romeo and Juliet effect" happens, and far from fading away, the feelings of desire, impulse and need to be with the loved one increase. This is also known as "frustration attraction", which is why secret love affairs are so successful. Apparently, the Romeo and Juliet Effect causes the secrecy of a relationship to act as an aphrodisiac..

Tips for overcoming an impossible love

The fact is that falling out of love is not a linear process; there are ups and downs. You may feel better for a week, but when you see that person or have contact with him or her again, you fall apart again. Impossible love can be a painful situation and, therefore, can negatively affect your well-being and mental health.

You are probably asking yourself: "And what can I do in such cases?". You will find the answer to this question if you continue reading the following lines, which a series of tips on how to overcome impossible love.. So pay attention, because your emotional stability is at stake.

1. Walk away

In any process of falling out of love, if what you want to forget, it is necessary to stop having contact with your love object.. Every time you see that person (or remember him or her) your brain's reinforcement circuit is activated, which again triggers the neurochemical cascade of falling in love.

In fact, love acts almost like a drug, which means that we tend to detect aspects of the present that remind us of that person all the time, even if they seem to have nothing to do with that person. Many of the things we perceive take us back to those memories, based on real or imagined events, and so we begin to get frustrated that we can't go back to those times. we begin to become frustrated at not being able to return to those times when we did not experience the pain of loss. So, you have to fight this vicious cycle by avoiding "exposure" to that person.

This does not mean that you can never see the person again, but it is necessary for the brain circuit to weaken, and this requires a more or less long period of time to occur. The time required depends on many factors: your self-esteem, the social support you have, the past experiences you have had, etc. So be patient, because it can take a long time, although the degree of serenity that is reached makes it worth it.

2. Accept it

This type of love is, as the name suggests, impossible.. It is not easy to accept it, but even if it sounds harsh, this is part of life. Surely you cannot prevent impossible love from hurting you, but what does depend on you is your attitude towards this phenomenon and how long you want to remain anchored to suffering. To move on and overcome it you have to accept it, otherwise, you will only be avoiding facing reality.

3. Tell someone

If you feel that you are having difficulty getting over it and that the pain has taken over your life, you do not have to keep it to yourself. Of course, you shouldn't go around shouting it from the rooftops, but you can tell someone about it.But you can tell a good friend to give you support and be there for you in the most delicate moments. This will help you release some of the pain and allow you to have someone to confide in.

4. Get on with your life and love yourself

It is important not to become obsessed and paralyzed.. To overcome this situation, you need to go on with your life, set goals that fit your own desires and strive to achieve your goals. You must give meaning to your life, because if you are not happy with yourself and you do not fight to be happy, you will hardly be able to overcome it.

To do this, you should even do things that you don't feel like doing but that you know will be good for you in the long run, such as socializing more, exercising, etc. The idea is to keep you going.

5. Seek psychological help

In some cases, the person who feels an impossible love sinksIn some cases, the person who feels an impossible love sinks, reaching really paralyzing and problematic situations for their own health and quality of life. It may be that, for example, there is a problem of self-esteem or a deficit of social skills in the background, which does not allow him/her to get out of this emotionally tiring situation.

If you have tried to overcome it on your own and you see that you are not making progress, perhaps you should go to psychological therapy, so that a mental health professional gives you the possibility to learn and develop different tools to improve your well-being.