How to know when to go to couple’s therapy? 5 compelling reasons

Reasons why it would be a good idea to see a therapist with your husband or wife.

The couples therapy is one of the most useful forms of psychological intervention.

Contrary to other forms of psychotherapy, it is not necessary to have received a diagnosis of a mental disorder to resort to it, because the core in which couple therapy acts is not the individual, but the relationship.

Couples sometimes need to go to a psychologist.

However, this advantage is, at the same time, a small disadvantage. The fact that relationships are so variable and that various points of view coexist in them means that the problems in them are not perceived in the same way.

Sometimes it seems that the relationship is going very badly, but a little later very pleasant moments occur in it that make us rethink whether what we thought was a serious problem really was. Sometimes one of the partners in the relationship thinks about marital breakdown, while the other does not even know that the other person is not satisfied. At other times, serious problems within the relationship are normalized and interpreted as normal things, phases that any couple goes through.

Part of these incongruities are, in part, the reason why it is worth asking the following question: how does one know when the time has come to attend couples therapy?

When is it worthwhile to go to couples therapy?

Here are some indications to know when it is time to go to couples therapy.

1. When the relationship is afflicted by communication failures

Many couple problems are based on something as simple and as complicated at the same time as communication problems.. Attending couples therapy sessions can serve to introduce into our lives new relationship dynamics in which the direct and honest expression of each other's points of view has a reserved space.

During the same therapy sessions, in fact, the first important exchanges of impressions that were not taking place before will take place.

2. When you are going through a specific crisis

If it is very clear that the problems experienced in the relationship are due to a more or less serious crisis that has to do with a specific event, such as a dismissal from work or the death of a loved one, couple therapy can be very useful to ensure that this painful experience does not also extend to the private sphere of the relationship.

3. When there are problems in intimate relationships

The time to attend couple's therapy is also the time when there is little harmony in intimate relationships and in the expression of affection. there is little harmony in the intimate relationships and in the expression of affectivity.. This involves a great variety of situations and goes beyond the area of sexuality.

Simple things such as caresses, moments of looking into each other's eyes in silence or hugs can be a scarce commodity in some relationships, and it can be difficult to "break the ice" to start incorporating this type of behavior into the relationship.

4. When there is indecision about future plans

Relationships are partly how you experience the present, and partly how you plan for the future together.

If you perceive discrepancies and conflicts in this second aspectCouples therapy can provide a space in which each party in the relationship will find new tools to express expectations that they did not know how to express before, and also provide the right context for an honest conversation about what each wants to find in the relationship.

5. When children disturb the peace of the home too much

The appearance of sons and daughters is usually a very happy event, but sometimes it can also can also mean that there is not enough space to allow the relationship to have its moments of intimacy.. In couples therapy, effective strategies can be discussed to help the relationship adapt to this situation.

When not to attend couples therapy

There are certain situations in which the problems in the relationship are so serious that there is no need to consider going to therapy, and the clearest one is that situation in which there is domestic violence and threats.

In situations like these it is very important for the abused party to immediately break the relationship and take all necessary measures to be safe.

Bibliographical references:

• Jerry J. Bigner (Editor), Joseph L. Wetchler (Editor). (2004). Relationship Therapy with Same-Sex Couple.
• O'Donohue, W. and Ferguson, K.E. (2006). Evidence-Based Practice in Psychology and Behavior Analysis. The Behavior Analyst Today.
• Wolf, TJ. (1987). Group psychotherapy for bisexual men and their wives. J. Homosex.