How to understand my adolescent child through parenting?

A reflection on the ideas that must be taken into account in order to understand adolescents.

Conflicts between parents and teenagers occur, in part, because of the difference between generations.

A technological acceleration has caught the attention of adolescents, who seek to feel connected to the world through social networks, games...

Today's teenagers have developed skills in the use of these technologies from a very early age, and in some kids, this has to some extent generated a lifestyle that involves staying connected most of the time. In some cases, they have stopped prioritizing school activities to keep themselves busy in this way, and parents are increasingly concerned about how to manage access and time without totally restricting the use of these electronic devices.

This has caused conflicts in the relationship between parents and adolescents.How to deal with them? Let's see it.

Common mistakes in raising teenage children.

When the boys show intolerance and irritability and it comes impacting to the whole family, the parents make sometimes desperate attempts to improve the situation..

The following are the most common ways that parents who attend therapeutic counseling sessions use:

• Imposing punishments, limiting the use of devices in their entirety (games, cell phones, computers) for extended periods of time (from two weeks to a month).
• Scolding with expressions with disqualifying adjectives (foolish, lazy, irresponsible, rebellious).
• Pushing, slapping, slapping.
• Restricting permission for parties or socializing with friends.
• Assign responsibilities within the home, such as participating in some tidying and cleaning activity at home or in their room.
• Limit their access to choosing a personal taste and acquiring it.

Many times this does not work, and parents reach a point where they run out of patience and realize that they can no longer "control" their child. realize that they can no longer "control" their teenager..

Understanding the adolescent child through Psychology

When parents come to the psychology office, the counseling they receive is directed towards some issues such as the following.

• Helping them to initiate a new way of making changes in communicating with their adolescent.
• Providing tools to make the imposed restrictions more flexible.
• Establish clear and agreed upon new limits.
• To orient parents on how to exercise their role as a parent and to position the role of their child by orienting responsibilities according to their age and that allow them to strengthen their development.
• To teach how to accompany your adolescent child on this new path of discovery and self-knowledge to become a young person and later an adult.

For this, the following points are addressed:

• Understand that your child begins a new stage of development that makes him/her nervous, with the need to be recognized even in his/her emotions, frustrations, concerns and the desire to feel a certain independence.
• Recognize that children can observe themselves, reflect on their actions and manage to give themselves an explanation for their actions.
• Easily bounce back from conflicts and continue with their activities.
• To recognize that when young people react to defend their position it is not due to lack of respect; they try not to be assertive in order to solve their existential conflicts, without succeeding.
• They try to achieve autonomy by expressing their moods and the family is driven to change rhythms and tones when communicating with adolescents.
• Understand that the way the adolescent begins to live will depend on his personality, the way he lived with his parents as a child, and the changes in his family environment.
• Understand how your child feels about his or her body, height, hormonal changes, emotional changes, and what beliefs are forming his or her self-concept and self-esteem.

Possible sources of the problem

Parents come to the consultation with the purpose of finding help to continue supporting the development and formation of their children. On the other hand, sometimes the consultation becomes preventive in order to avoid future maladjustments in the emotional life of the children. These aspects are important to initiate a process of support to strengthen the development of adolescents and to direct actions for their mental and emotional health.

Among the difficulties that can alter the mental health of adolescents are the following.

Physical health

There are illnesses that manifest themselves with symptoms of lack of energy, being interpreted as laziness or lack of motivation or the onset of depression.This can be interpreted as laziness or a lack of motivation or the onset of depression; for this reason it is important to keep their visits to the pediatrician up to this point in adolescence.

2. The quality of sleep

The problems to sleep well can be temporary or very frequent; it is important to look for the causes.. They can occur because of anxieties or worries that are easy to solve and regulate sleep.

3. Your diet

In quantity and quality, it is essential to be able to to maintain correct eating habits..

4. Their school performance

At this stage it is normal that they begin to present certain variations in their school performance. It is not alarming as long as they remain within the averages that can be given.

If this change is very marked and unexpected for prolonged periods of time or if he/she is absent from school, it is a reason to pay attention and worry.

5. Problems with friends

The quality of their friends is an important variable to identify if any emotional instability is occurring in their development.. It is necessary to observe if he manages to keep his friendships and make new friends, if he feels rejected by his group, or if he seeks friendships that do not value or respect him.

6. Mood imbalances

Mood fluctuations are very frequent at this age.. If the changes are very radical from one moment to the next and make it impossible to talk to him/her for a whole week, this may be an indication that he/she may have a psychopathological disorder and cannot handle it. This is where you can be attentive to seek professional help.