How women flirt? 9 keys to understanding it

Female psychology shows us some secret keys to seduction.

Attracting women who seduce you is not a gift, it is what nature dictates. And going against nature has its consequences.

However, it is something that most "flirts" or seducers around the world have not yet learned. And the fact is that they apply the formula completely the other way around.

Some people flirt... and others do not.

And yes, applying a "quick formula" - a shortcut - can bring short-term results. Doubtful results and of little scope, in fact. But, like froth, like miracle diets, like pyramid investments and a long etcetera, those results will vanish just as quickly, those results will vanish as quickly as they "popped up.".

Then - and just as I'm sure you have been a victim in some other field in your life - you will fall victim to the "rebound effect": Not only will you not have achieved anything solid, but, probably, the next time you have to try again, it will cost you even more.

The Male Attraction Pyramid: what is it and what does it teach us?

Don't interpret this as being "reactive" to the rest of the men who try to do their best. Actually it saddens me to see that they have not understood anything. They have not understood that, just like the food pyramid or Maslow's pyramid of human needs, the pyramid of male attractiveness is completely reversed..

In fact... have you paid attention to the formulation of the opening sentence?

Instead of constructing it under the "masculine" perspective -which would be: try to seduce the women you are most attracted to... Which implies an active role-, we have adopted a feminine psychology. Something that, if you notice, happens when, as a man, you stand out considerably.

Daniel Vecino - The Hero's Plan

The women who seduce you have seen something special in you.

To make it very evident, think of great male role models: artists, actors, sportsmen, successful entrepreneurs, etc....

Specifically, think of a famous singer. Far from having to make inhuman efforts or strategies so that some woman, sporadically, decides not to refuse a sexual encounter with him, it happens that "curiously", he has the "obligation" to express his more "fruity" side - that is, vulnerability, imperfection, defects -, to overcompensate all that exuberant worth and thus, to be able to project closeness, familiarity, humanity.... For this is the only way to lower his presence to a threshold where they -normal women- connect with him.

That's why most of his lyrics "reek of sappiness" -no offense-. I mean, you, as a man who cultivates himself every day to improve his current version, don't feel that you connect at all with that message that we would qualify as "pink porn.".

Men who apply terribly wrong strategies

And that's why, when a mere mortal -who hasn't understood anything- tries to apply the lyrics of those songs, he "dies" in the attempt. What you most need, precisely, is what those great men of success have plenty of: "courage". So, you must work on what you Excel at and learn to "show it". Watch out, show itnot show it. That is, you must do it in a subliminal and effective way.

But that is a subject for another article. Let's continue with what we have to do...

What does seduction look like from the female perspective?

On this occasion, I want to show you how human courtship looks and feels through the eyes of a woman... when she meets a man "of the bunch"..

And this is a very important detail because the rules of the game are totally different.

In this way, I hope you begin to realize that you should become the kind of man who has stopped seducing - freeing yourself from all the negative charge it carries for your subconscious - to start attracting.

Now, get comfortable and enjoy how you look - if you don't stand out - from a woman's deeper, more honest perspective.

Human courtship - of the mediocre man - from a woman's eyes

1. I will never take the initiative

And when I use the words "never" and "initiative", not only do I mean that I will never be the one to start the conversation, but -unless I am particularly "sensitive" on those dates and need to want to "get going"- I will not move forward at any time. If you want something, you'll have to work hard for it.as much as I'm dying for it.

And wake up, there are many others interested and my patience has a limit...

It's not that I don't know how to flirt, it's that you don't inspire me.

Flirting, for an attractive woman like me, is not a challenge at all -except for finding the perfect man-. Basically, because there is nothing that attracts men more than knowing how to show off your best attributes -and that has nothing to do with dressing like "just anybody".

On the other hand, it's a big deal, because with a strategy like that, you're going to attract everything.. Especially slugs.

If you don't manage to stand out in the first few seconds and get my attention... "next". I don't have time to waste, there's a lot to "distill". Mediocrity abounds and contributes very little.

3. I am not false out of malice, I simply have other interests.

It is very likely that what you are telling me does not interest me at all.How is it then that I have a big smile, hold your gaze and seem to listen with enthusiasm?

It's one thing what you see and another what may be going on in my mind. Let's just say that, inside, I have other plans.

I may want to make "nervous" - championship jealous - another guy I had a thing with and who is now showing disinterest. A most "sensual" conversation with you -apart from testing you- could set off alarm bells in my "real" target. Or, worst case scenario, prove to me that it was just a fling and that he's really not interested in me - bitter, but better to know sooner rather than later to turn the page. In which case, you might be in luck... if you pass the millions of tests that await you..

I can also be less devious and simply seek some reassurance. To do this, I prefer to "pretend" that I've chosen you to "try my luck" that night and, in reality, you're the one I trust the most who won't try anything. In this way, I get rid of all the moscones - harmless but very heavy - and those with whom I don't feel safe - because they might end up trying something I don't want to happen. So, thank you for allowing me to be calm, "osito"..

4. I know perfectly well the difference between confidence and arrogance.

Being macho and bragging about what you have or have achieved does not show you to be a man of integrity.. I can tell you are trying to make up for your shortcomings.

Every time I've had the privilege of meeting a man with integral confidence, I've marveled at how little need for validation he shows. The total disinterest -and so healthy- in trying to impress me and that very attractive attitude of caring very little about what I criticize about him because he feels comfortable with his congruence. Because he has a solid foundation, a firm base... he's a man on whom you can feel firm, secure -and to whom you can give yourself blindfolded... And I'm going to stop talking about a man like that because I get "bad".

5. Your presence is the most important thing

While for you -common man- the most important thing is "what you see" -and in your personal case, how you look-, for me, what I see is important, it is a minimum, but it is not enough..

For that, you must be able to understand the difference between "appearance" and "presence".

As it is already well explained in the following video, I refer you to it.

6. I am very clear about what I don't want

And since I'm not so clear about what I want, I'd better do what I do best: discarding..

Maybe I was wrong about you and you deserve a second chance. With all due respect, for me that is irrelevant because there are so many to choose from that, surely, I could use anyone else who is "worth it".

Besides, if with a first rejection you give up, are you really worth it?

I'm afraid that, in that case -friend-, you have "accepted" that you are not, but don't confuse persevering with being heavy.

7. I know, I am your only option

And not precisely because I'm talking to a selective man who only allows access to "his heart" to "the chosen one" but because you have also failed with the previous ones.

In fact, when I meet a man who makes me feel like he's a winner, I automatically assume that I'm not the only one -regardless of whether it's true-. And that if I want to aspire to that privilege, I'll have to show that I'm much more than just a pretty face and a knockout body.

8. Being so attractive can be a curse

I may be the envy of those who weren't lucky enough to be born with such sexy genes-or don't know how to take advantage of them or don't have the determination to work hard enough to bring out their full potential, but the truth is that everything has its downside..

Although it's true that I wouldn't trade myself for a worse version of myself - not a chance! And yes, I still strive to improve myself every day-, with great power comes great responsibility. And great responsibility in the wrong hands can be a real nightmare.

Do you know how many "nasty" men I meet on a daily basis who try to get my attention in the most unfortunate ways? I am convinced that being a hottie is not something we are all prepared for. That's why I understand why many don't even try.

And is that, at first it may seem very nice -especially in youth-, but as the novelty -feeling irresistible- becomes everyday and eventually monotony -the behavior of men is repeated every day as an endless pattern-, life becomes predictable and boring. To the point where you don't want to go out alone to be given a break or you don't want to go anywhere and mingle with everyone... out of self-love.

This is why it is important to understand what effect you have on others and learn to manage it properly.. Something not easy, but necessary, if you want not only mental health, but a full life -there are wonderful men waiting for you if you know how to manage "your power".

9. The more you attract me, the more I will criticize you.

This is something that has been very, very hard for me to understand, but it has been magical for my emotional and mental health.

To sum it up very, very much, as a woman, I am attracted to a man who is self-confident and does not need me.. But that makes me feel very, very insecure. Therefore, I need to prove that I am important enough to him to be able to trust that he wants the best for me.

This leads to a myriad of contradictions. Contradictions that are like fire and air: they cannot exist without each other but require balance.. An excess of either can kill the other.

For example:

• I need to know that I am special and unique to him .. But if that's too obvious... it lowers my libido. Knowing that there are other women interested and could be potential threats takes away some of that "security" and puts me on alert...igniting the flame.
• I love a man who is self-sufficient and knows what he wants.. If he is so determined that he doesn't need me for anything, I feel like I'm not so special anymore. Therefore, you should know in what way I can help you to make me feel useful and valued - although it is much better if I am able to do it - and you should know how to listen to my criticisms and differentiate between useful and "garbage" ones. Many times emotions win the battle and we criticize just out of spite. When a man agrees to this "emotional blackmail", he loses a lot of ground. However, if he remains firm and congruent with what he wants, no matter how angry he shows me, deep down I love it. That's why a lot of arguments end with sex. Also, if I interpret that he is not only congruent with his ideal but that he understands that I am like this out of spite and not because he considers that I am right, I understand that I am with a man with a superior emotional intelligence and there he really has me "crazy lost", although my ego prevents me from showing it and I can get even more pissed off with any insinuation about it.

I hope I have helped you with a little bit of light and have dissuaded you to walk the right path.

By way of conclusion

As you have seen, the way you see the world is completely different, the way you see the world is completely different and, without that information, you are not only at a disadvantage, you are out..

On the other hand, the only way to unlock your irresistible appeal is to understand the psychology behind it and learn to apply it to your personal case. And, you'll agree with me that the greatest experts on attractiveness are women.

So, tell me, what surprised you about this female vision, have you had a similar experience, and do you have anything else to contribute? I'll be waiting for you in the debate, below, in the comments.