Husbands are 10 times more stressful than children, study finds

An interesting research that specifies what things get on mothers' nerves.

Relationships and marriages are not always a bed of roses.There are times when the situation becomes complicated, as conflicts between the partners are frequent.

However, many times these problematic situations can even be beneficial, because if the situation is resolved in a mature way, mutual learning can make the couple grow and there is a greater degree of intimacy and rapport.

Relationships are not easy

Living together is not easy. Each member of the couple has his or her values, needs, habits, and way of understanding life, and adjusting this to the way the couple lives together is not easy.And adjusting this to the way of thinking of the other member of the relationship is not always simple.

Each person is a world, each couple is a world and each family is a world. Idyllically, adults should set an example and should support each other in everything and contribute equally to family life: in the economic contribution, in the education of the children... But when one of the two partners feels that he or she is giving more than the other, conflict can arise.

The day-to-day life of a couple or marriage can be stressful.

And living this situation on a daily basis clouds communication and hinders the relationship. Conflict can end up being the daily routine of the relationship and stress can manifest itself. Many women complain about having to do household chores in addition to their own work, dedicating their entire lives to the family.

It is therefore not surprising that a survey carried out in the United States, in which more than 7,000 mothers gave their opinion, concluded that husbands generate 10 times more stress than their own children. Forty-six percent of the participants stated that their partners caused highly stressful situations for them.

Husbands and added stress

Some women even stated that their husbands added work to their daily lives, even giving them more work than their own children.They even gave them more work than their own children. As if that were not enough, some participants stated that while their children hardly gave them headaches, their husbands' childish attitude bothered them a lot.

In addition, some complained about the fact that their partners did not help them with daily chores, so that they had no free time. Evidently, these situations were stressful for them, causing them a great deal of perceived discomfort.

A question of expectations

According to the researchers, it is possible that these results are due to irrational expectations.. Many mothers know that their children will cause them conflicting situations, the result of age.

However, the same is not true of husbands, who they expect to be a support rather than a burden. "You can expect a child not to understand certain things, but not an adult to behave like that," explains one participant. Another, adds, "I am physically and mentally exhausted when my husband comes home. I feel like it's another job to take care of him. Let's not forget that a mother's love can do anything.

And what do husbands think?

Looking at the data, we might think that fathers are the main cause of the world's ills.. That is why the same researchers decided to find out more about their opinion on the matter. To do so, they conducted a survey with 1,500 fathers, and half of them acknowledged having shared the care of children with their partner. The strange thing was that of the 2,700 mothers interviewed, 75% said they were doing everything on their own. Many fathers also confessed to feeling hurt because they felt they had a secondary role in the family. They also expressed that they would like to be acknowledged for their efforts from time to time, at least with words of thanks.

This study reveals that there is a problem of communication and expectations in many homes. Some fathers believe that they are doing enough and that it is not recognized, while mothers think it is not true.

Whose fault is it?

Leaving aside the data from this study, the reality is that being a parent is stressful in and of itself.. In this situation, it's easy for sparks to fly in the relationship and parents blame the other partner. Parenting can be a really difficult time.

And if a relationship is already complicated by itself, if you add to it the work of raising a child, increasing expenses, etc., tension can appear at any time. Fathers and mothers are still people and, therefore, imperfect. It is important that the parents' communication improves and that there is tolerance between them, because the first to suffer the consequences of this type of situation is the child.

Parents, moreover, also come out of these conflictive situations in a bad way.. Several studies found that a stressful marriage, where there is constant conflict, is as detrimental to heart health as smoking and increases the chances of suffering from Cardiovascular disease in men as well as in women, In addition, a recent survey of 300 Swedish women found that the risk of suffering a heart attack increases threefold when their marriage is troubled.

Books for parents

Almost all parents want the best for their children. But parenting is complicated, especially with the first offspring. No one is born an expert.

That's why, a good educational psychology textbook for parents can be very helpful.because even with the best of intentions, you don't always educate correctly.

• If you would like to purchase some psychology books for parents, in this post you will find a great selection: "The 8 most useful Educational Psychology books for parents."