Long-distance relationships: 10 problems that are difficult to bear

Is it possible to maintain a sentimental relationship without having frequent contact with the loved one?

Long-distance relationships are an increasingly common phenomenon in an interconnected and globalized world.. The massification of the use of the Internet multiplies the opportunities to meet someone living in a distant country and, as always, love does not understand approaches based on the usefulness of starting a relationship with a person.

However, some argue that the possibility of keeping in touch every day with someone who lives far away or who has the option to emigrate is actually a trap.. On the one hand, it makes it possible to meet many more people, but on the other hand it easily leads to frustration. It is possible that several decades ago the practical impossibility of maintaining long-distance relationships led us to live more isolated, but at least those whom we knew, normally, we could see them more frequently, since they lived in the same town, city or region.

Maintaining long-distance relationships is a psychological challenge.

Problems of long-distance relationships

People in long-distance relationships often speak of the early stages as a period in which the illusion of falling in love is mixed with the anticipation of the problems that will later arise from being separated from their partner. They feel "hooked" or "trapped" in a situation that was not foreseen but has gradually become an extra concern: making the relationship somewhat viable.

All relationships in general can be the origin of certain problems of greater or lesser intensity, but long distance relationships, in particular, have some characteristics that make them more likely to encounter certain obstacles or uncomfortable situations. These are the main ones.

1. Uncertainty

The perception that the distance between two people is in itself a source of problems that will always be there as long as the relationship is at a distance is, paradoxically, another problem. This is so becauseit serves as an excuse for the emergence of pessimistic thoughts, anticipations of a bad outcomeThis is so because it serves as an excuse for pessimistic thoughts, anticipations of a traumatic love outcome or a rarefied atmosphere that will gradually distance the partners.

2. Possible source of lack of commitment

Assuming that the chances of the relationship not succeeding are high, it is more likely that the lovers will be more reluctant to make a real commitment.We are not afraid of what might happen. Somehow, our expectations about what will happen in the future affect how we feel in the present, causing us to "adapt" so as not to expose ourselves so much to receive a hard psychological blow.

This can be perceived by the other person as a lack of interest, leading to arguments and general discomfort.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy is not an essential ingredient in a couple's relationship, but people who are predisposed to show jealousy are not. people predisposed to jealousy have their Achilles' heel in long-distance relationshipsIn long-distance relationships, where information about what the other person is doing is scarce. If this jealousy passes a certain threshold, the paranoid thoughts make the person adopt a possessive and totally toxic role, which harms his partner.

4. The planning of the meetings

The need to keep in mind a schedule of meetings in which the sacrifices made by both partners are equal is a source of stress. In many cases it is a slight nuisance, but in other cases it can create a in other cases it can generate real stress crises to combine studies and work with these getaways..

5. The feeling of guilt

In some long-distance relationships the feeling of guilt is one of the frequent sources of discomfort.. The reason for this is that some people sometimes feel that they are not doing enough to see their partner more often and to make the days spent being physically together well spent.

Perfectionism and the desire to make these periods compensate for the discomfort of being apart for a long time often lead to disappointment and frustration when it turns out that the proposed (idealized) expectations have not been met.

6. Problems enjoying time together

The anticipation of the provisional goodbye makes that in many occasions the time spent together with the partner is not enjoyed.. For example, if a week-long getaway to a foreign country is planned, it is possible that during the last two or three days sadness takes over the experience.

This makes it more difficult to turn the moments together into something happy, which gradually becomes associated with unhappiness attributable to a partner who does not suit us.

7. Lack of physical contact

It is one of the great disadvantages, and It is based on the lack of moments of intimacy, eye contact and caresses that are usually necessary not only to feel good, but also to make the relationship more comfortable.but also to make the relationship mature and mutual knowledge is enriched thanks to non-verbal language.

8. The limitations of communication channels

The communication channels through which contact is maintained in a long-distance relationship can present problems: infrequent telephone calls, lack of coverage, limited Internet access, etc. This can lead to stressful situations at specific moments when you may think that you will not be able to keep in touch with your partner. when one comes to think that the other person could be having problems.

8. Ignorance of social circles

In many occasions the members of a long-distance relationship are in areas that are halfway from the places of residence of both, or they spend their time together alone. This causes that they do not get to know well the social circles in which the other person moves, losing the opportunity not only to make new acquaintances but also to make new friends.They miss the opportunity not only to make new friends but also to see the social side of their partner from another point of view.

10. Potential boredom

The disadvantages mentioned above, added to the fact that time is often spent alone, mean that these moments of direct contact occur in a context of isolation. these moments of direct contact occur in a context of isolation and, at times, a certain monotony. and, at times, a certain monotony. A cost-benefit analysis can make the moments spent together seem insignificant or irrelevant.