Manipulative people have these 5 traits in common
How can we protect ourselves from being manipulated by someone?
Surely, on some occasion, you have come across a person who has convinced you of what is best for you, and it turns out that what they say is best for you is right for them.In a timely manner, it turns out that what they say suits you suits them just fine, and in the end you realize that what you are doing is not what you want.
Manipulative individuals and their vices
These individuals have no qualms about asking you to put aside your needs for the good of all. These are people who, upon getting what they wanted from you, don't even say thank you.
These individuals often earn the label of manipulators, and unfortunately society is full of them.. They are very skilled at making you doubt your abilities by making you feel vulnerable or beneath others. Their ability to distort other people's beliefs strengthens them when it comes to luring you onto their playing field, convincing you that you can't do something or that you should do it their way because they know how things are going.
Their strength lies in emotional exploitation (and emotional blackmail); that is, they manage your emotions by producing in you a feeling of guiltThis guilt is completely unfounded and leads you to give in to their desires.
What are manipulators like?
So in this way manipulators manage to gain control by finding reward from their prey and in a calculated way. In today's article we will try to identify manipulative attitudes in order to curb them..
1. They are specialized in detecting other people's weaknesses
Absolutely everyone has weaknesses, and they are the instrument they use to hurt you.If you waver in what you believe, if there is something you are ashamed of and want to hide, the manipulative person will try to find out and, if given the chance, can use it against you.
2. They will not stop until they get what they want.
They have few qualms about stepping on anyone's toes, for them the end justifies the means.. When they are going to act, their pulse does not tremble to do whatever is necessary to achieve their goals, yet their behavior usually goes unnoticed because they are good actors.
3. They are insatiable
Manipulation makes them feel powerful and, as is often the case with power, they always want more.. Their moral principles are somewhat damaged, as they are aware that by themselves they are incapable of achieving an objective, but that their manipulative capacity can provide them to reach their goal by making use of the merits of others, behind the backs of others. They are filled with ambition, a craving that, like the drug, produces a kind of addiction.
4. They need control
The manipulator usually suffers from what is known as superiority complex; they are usually people with traits close to egocentrism and narcissism. They like to surpass themselves and surpass the level previously achieved, in search of greater and greater challenges.
However, people who feel the need to consider themselves superior to others, even as perfect beings, and who thrive on the merits of others, denote a certain insecurity which they clothe with the appearance of power, but which, deep down, they conceal.but which, deep down, conceal an overwhelming fear of appearing weak.
Are all manipulators the same?
Given that manipulation is an art, we can say that the gift of manipulation consists of different abilities and skills.Since manipulation is an art, different types of manipulators can be recognized within this category. We know them below.
1. The inciter
A typical case, in this case opposite to the previous two mentioned. He displays strength, and not only, but also a certain aggressiveness.. In this case, if you are a passive person, you will give in to avoid having to face him. In such a way that "ad baculum" the manipulator gets through coercion what he wants, this is the case of antisocial type personalities.
2. The discrediter
The narcissism of this subject is especially marked. He simply feels perfect, he is a white blackbird, he has never broken a dish. He is the measure of things, his rule is the only one that counts. This "perfect gift will emphasize that you are wrong every time you say something, when he has the opportunity he will emphasize that you are wrong.When he has the opportunity, he will highlight your defects and ridicule you with his sarcasm. They are people who are dedicated to judge others but do not usually look in the mirror if not to praise themselves.
3. The interpreter
This particular type is especially noxious when dealing with a group of people, be it work or family, has a Machiavellian and twisted personality.He acts by extracting your words and changing their meaning, a meaning intentionally different from the message you wanted to communicate.
With this ruse he will make you wish that you had swallowed your wordsIt will make you wish that you had swallowed your words, that they were not appropriate, that you had crossed the line or that you had not thought about what you were saying, thus hurting another person. Metamorphosing in this way your words, communicating them to the person who is more convenient and modifying their intention, so you can end up being the bad guy in the movie.
4. The victim
This person has been hurt by the world, he keeps complaining that everything bad happens to him and asking himself "why me? He focuses a lot on his own pain, shielding his reprehensible attitudes and behaviors under victimhood, he is always the most unfortunate, far above the others.This type of behavioral picture is often known as the Job's syndrome.
In addition, This type of behavioral pattern is often referred to as Job's Syndrome.He claims justice and thinks of himself as a battered innocent, thus creating a discourse that makes you feel guilty for his misfortune and how unfair the world is to him. Then, they usually take advantage of this speech so that you lower your defense and force you to agree to what he asks you out of pity or guilt. Later on, you will be disappointed because it is not what you really wanted, but you have already achieved your goal through your whining.
5. The remora
This kind of manipulator makes use of your own ego.. He is able to make you feel superior, next to you he is less than nothing, a weak and clumsy being, and it is clear, unable to do anything while you can, so you will end up doing what he cannot.
The commiseration you feel and your own ego of strength will make you force yourself, unconsciously, to do what the manipulator does not want to do. In this way, the consequences of such an exercise will be yours, without obtaining any reward other than the empty sensation of capacity, which will later turn into a waste of effort that has not been worthwhile, in addition to the consequent exhaustion.
How can we protect ourselves from this type of person?
There are different types of manipulators, as we have seen. But what precautions can we take to avoid falling prey to them? what precautions can we take to avoid falling into their psychological games?
1. Be aware
The first thing to do is to be aware of the manipulation. There are rights that are inviolable and that cannot be transferred.These rights are the following:
- To be treated with respect.
- To establish your own priorities.
- To express your opinion and how you feel.
- To defend yourself physically or emotionally.
- To say "no" without guilt.
If you are in a relationship with someone and feel that your rights are being undermined, consider that you may be the victim of a manipulator, consider that you may be the victim of a manipulator..
2. Keep a safe distance
Keep your distance emotionallyJust as when driving, we keep a safe distance so as not to run into the other vehicle and avoid an accident. Do not allow anyone to invade your space or approach their spider's web to avoid being hunted. No one can hurt you without your consent.
3. You are not to blame
If you answer no to any of the above questions, consider that you may be the victim and not the other way around. There are certain aspects of the reality that surrounds you over which you can exercise control, however, most things are not in our hands, thus, you are not to blame for what happens around you, so if you start to feel that waySo if you start to feel that way, try to find out what's going on.
Question:
- Does what you are asking for seem reasonable to you?
- In your opinion, what should I tell you?
- Are you asking me or are you telling me?
Questions like these will make the manipulator feel that he or she has been betrayed and will probably look for someone else to trick.
4. Take your time
Don't respond to their demands immediately, you should think about it first.. Manipulators often put pressure on their victims so that they do not delay in acceding to their demands. Knowing how to recognize these moments is fundamental in order not to allow the pressure of the moment to make us yield to rationality, causing the interests of others to pass us by.
5. Do not doubt
Do not waver in your convictions and stand firm in your affirmations.. Manipulators are very skilled at interpreting your non-verbal communication, if you hesitate they will notice it and exert more pressure until they finally make you give in.
In conclusion, if you come across a person who acts in this way, it is necessary to unmask them. If possible, you should try to help that individual to become aware that his or her behavior negatively affects others and, above all, him or herself. In any case, do not hesitate and use all these tools that you now know to avoid being a victim of their manipulation.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)