Marian Rojas Estapé: "Pain and suffering will always accompany us"

Marian Rojas Estapé is a psychiatrist with a degree in Medicine and Surgery by the University of Navarra. In addition to his consultation, in which he mainly treats people with anxiety, depression, personality and behavior disorders, he carries out family therapies, takes time to teach at the IPADE business school in Mexico, collaborates in projects of cooperation and volunteering and gives conferences around the world on stress, happiness, depression or the influence of Social Networks in our society. And she still has time to take care of her family.

has had the opportunity to chat with her, share impressions and give us some of the keys to achieving a more orderly and happy life.

How to make good things happen to you

What is the key to the success of the book?

I believe that it is a book that helps each one understand how their brain and organism works in the face of challenges, challenges and stress. At a time in history in which society is deeply stressed, where we have less and less facility to connect with ourselves or with the people who are close to us, understand what is happening to Our brain and to our body, I think that on the one hand it generates a feeling of relief and on the other it gives us an impulse to try to change some habits that are not very healthy.

What makes so many people feel empty?

The fact that 20% of society is medicated by mood problems It scares and generates a bit of vertigo, especially at a time when everything in general is going very well (…). It is true that there have always been, economic, precarious employment contracts and complicated family situations, but we are not in a tragic moment in history.

On the other hand, right now we have everything at hand. We are in a society in which instant gratification lead human behavior: I want something and I get it. I want Chinese dinner, I want Japanese dinner, I want some shoes, I want a book, I want whatever it is to get to my house in less than two hours and in general you can have it. What's more, when he sends you a message looking for a solution.

We get everything at the click of a button ... happiness is at the click of a button, but that instant gratification in our brain is modulated by reward circuits and one of the main substances that moderates them is dopamine, which is very good because it is the pleasure hormone, but it is a hormone with a high addictive power, that is, they are things that are not bad, but can be destructive when they replace the true meaning of life, the true healthy behavior of the human being.

The will

When you receive everything when you want, a theme happens to your brain, and that is that it stops knowing how to wait, and learning to wait is essential to be happy, because the will It is the jewel in the crown of The conduct It is a phrase that my father used to say when I was little, that a person with a will goes further than an intelligent person.

What is the will?

The ability to postpone the reward, and today we know that the will works mainly from prefrontal cortex, which is the area in front of the brain and is a basic area for the human being and is responsible for attention, concentration, problem solving and impulse control, It is a basic area of ​​the body and it is a basic area of ​​our mind.

Why is self-government so important?

Today there are many psychiatrists who believe that it is the one who has a self-government, who knows how to manage himself as a human being, who knows how to manage his impulses. That does not mean that I live repressed, but that I know how to manage. If I now have everything I want, if I want to receive a bonus and I have it, because I can watch pornography when I want, I can watch series when I want, I can meet different people through social applications, I can have, what are they dopamine sparks how much I want ...

If I get up one morning and I have nothing on me, I restart the phone because something must have happened on it or on the phone, and if not, I automatically start sending messages to people to get the feeling that they love me, that I am important to others, what happens? That when I get that feeling all the time instant gratification, I don't know how to wait.

pain and suffering

pain and suffering they are two ingredients of life that will always accompany us and we have to learn to live with them. In the book I don't just talk about what the optimism It is an easy tool, or it is a tool that helps me, or it is a tool that heals me, which it is. But when you know how your brain works, when you know what its stress factors, when you know what your escape routes… We all have escape routes from our stressful moments.

The optimism

Optimism is a very useful tool. But it is not about always smiling, or that nothing happens, you are going to be the best, you are going to triumph, because that positive thought without substance, without content, what it does is generate more emptiness and guilt, since it means that yes I don't get things, or I don't have the job I want, or I don't feel how happy I should feel with my partner, it's my fault and it's not about that, it's about knowing the way to deal with pain , to suffering and stress determines your physical and psychological health.

Marian Rojas Estapé speaks loud and clear about those factors that affect human beings and prevent them from being happy with the everyday things of life. The psychiatrist has proposed with her book to get closer to those who need help and to make each one aware of the functioning of their brain in order to better manage their impulses and emotions.