Mature love: why is second love better than first love?

The advantages and details of second loves.

Many movies, songs or novels are inspired by love, this feeling so intense that it is able to leave us sensations and feelings that are difficult to forget.

Mature loves and first loves

Throughout our lives we can fall in love once in a while, and sometimes people even fall in love several times.. But first love can be a love so intense that madness can take over. Now, after coming to our senses, the experience of this failed first love can allow us to experience the next love in a different way; in a more mature way.

The idea that the first love is the only and the most important of our life is a mistaken belief. The first love may be unforgettable, but that does not mean that it is the love of our life. You also learn to love, and for a relationship to work, you also have to learn how to make it work.. If you have just left your partner and you feel that you will never love again with such intensity, do not despair. You can love again and you can love better.

• Recommended article: "The 6 uncomfortable truths about breaking up".

Love also comes to an end

The first love comes to us almost without realizing it, it invades us, and when we realize it, we are so deep inside it that getting out is not an easy task. If the first love is over, it is difficult to get back to the ground, to reality.. The process of falling out of love is a process that can be very long for some people, especially that of the first love. The lack of experience in overcoming this kind of ups and downs can lead some individuals to depression.

Those who have been there know that it is possible to leave the sadness behind and regain the motivation to live, but this takes time. Getting back to normality is a process, and once we get to the point of leaving behind everything we have lived through, there are many memories that strike our mind. It is certainly not easy to accept that the situation has come to an end, that the other person, the one we have loved so much for the first time, will rebuild his or her life without us and everything we have lived will be left behind, never to return**. Therefore, to overcome heartbreak, it is necessary to go through a series of stages of grief**.

• If you want to know more about the stages of heartbreak, visit our post: "The 5 stages to overcome the grief of a breakup".

After the first love... comes the existential crisis.

From a young age, culture shapes our way of thinking. Our vision of love, therefore, is influenced by it. We believe that love is like in the movies, something that is not in line with reality. When the first love is over, it is time to re-educate ourselves, to be realistic and leave behind some irrational thoughts that can do us a lot of harm.

And of course, re-educating oneself implies breaking with old mental schemes.. When we realize that our way of thinking is no longer useful, we can suffer an existential crisis. The existential crisis clouds us and makes us feel that we do not know the path we should follow. This can be mentally very exhausting and can lead to emotional problems. At least until we find ourselves again to get back on our feet.

In this stage of growth we end up looking for a new life in which a new love story can gain prominence. To do this, it is necessary to learn from the past and reconnect with ourselves. It is then when we can reopen our Heart to love to fall in love again.

Making way for mature love

Fortunately, human beings have a great capacity to adapt and we can learn from past experiences. First love is usually an irrational love in most cases (although not always). And although it is usually an enormously gratifying experience at first, the suffering it leaves behind can be one of the most unpleasant situations that we have to live through in this life. But like any existential crisis, learning from this experience can make us grow enormously as people and can allow us to discover mature love..

Mature love is the one that lasts, because although the flame of irrational love can be very intense, it dissolves in its own fire. Mature love is a love that is nourished by understanding, respect from both partners.respect on the part of both partners. The mature love relationship is free and is based on communication and negotiation. This love is not born, it is built over time and is cared for. It lasts because it is the real thing.

Want more tips on how to make your relationship work? In our article "The 7 keys to a healthy relationship" you will find all the information you need.