Polygamy: what does this type of marriage consist of?

The problems and cultural taboos associated with this type of marriage.

The polygamy is a type of marriage that, although rare in territories where Western culture predominates, is present in millions of families around the world.

Its most common type, polygyny polygynyis the one in which the man has more than two wives, while polyandry is the one in which the man has more than two wives, while polygyny is the one in which the man has more than one wife. polyandrypolyandry, in which the woman has several husbands, is much rarer.

However, the fact that so many people live in polygamous families does not mean that this type of marriage is free of disadvantages. In fact, there are reasons to believe that polygamy brings with it some very significant problems.

Polygamy as experienced by women

Experts such as Rana Raddawi of the University of Sharjah believe that women living in polygamous families in which one husband has multiple wives become involved in relationship dynamics with serious emotional consequences for their well-being.

From a study based on past surveys of women living in polygyny, Raddawi observed that feelings of strong abandonment and jealousy were far higher than expected.. That is, the fact that her husband had other wives to relate to made managing his time and certain resources a problem.

Little effectiveness of the rules on polygamy.

In many cultures**, the polygamy associated with Islam is regulated by certain religious rules** designed, in principle, to ensure that marriage between one man and several women does not cause problems or major upheavals. However, these behavioral guidelines need not be enforced or may not have the desired effect, and this is precisely what Raddawi found.

Many of the women she studied said that their husbands fail to fulfill the roles expected of them as husbands. Among other things, they tended to report that the men did not spend enough time with them and that they did not fulfill their financial responsibilities to provide the family with the necessary money. to provide the family with the money it needs to sustain itself.

The consequences of polygamy for children

Rana Raddawi's research focused on how women experienced polygamy and the emotional impact it had on them, but presumably the impact of this way of life also affects many others, for better or worse. One might wonder, for example, about the children who are raised in polygamous families.Is this group affected? It seems so, according to one of the most ambitious studies on the subject.

It is a research project promoted by Sisters in Islam, based on some 1,500 questionnaires with quantitative and qualitative parts passed to women living in Malaysia. Among its results are many of the feelings of abandonment found by Raddawi, albeit this time in children.

For example, a significantly large proportion of sons and daughters reported feeling abandoned or neglected when their father married a new wife. Similarly, as the number of wives and children increased, the scarcity of available resources had a negative impact on the children: basically, lack of affection and attention.

Thus, for example, about 60% of the sons and daughters of the first marriage were sad or angry when they learned about a second marriage. when they learned about their father's upcoming second marriage. In addition, children belonging to families in which 10 or more sons and daughters had been conceived tended to say that their fathers had trouble remembering which of their wives they were born to. About 90% of the children surveyed said that, based on their experiences, they would avoid entering into a polygamous marriage when they grew up.

Other negative consequences

Since the mother is the only member of the family with whom the children have continuous contact**, it is to be expected that the children's relationship with them will be very different**.

However, polygamy seems to have some negative consequences in this respect as well, since children tend to blame their mothers for not knowing how to or not being able to get the father's attention.. In other words, they perceive them as the cause of the abandonment they experience.

Taking the context into account

Before jumping to conclusions about the advantages and disadvantages of polygamy, one important fact must be kept in mind: research on this topic is limited by definition, as there are too many families in the world.But, in addition, many of the problems associated with polygamy need not be due to polygamy itself. They may be produced by the use of polygamy in specific contexts.

For example, it is possible that in a very rich society polygamy would not be experienced in the same way, especially if the parents have sufficient resources to dedicate all the hours they need to their families.

But, in addition, we must keep in mind that it is difficult to interpret the results of this study without knowing well the cultures in which they have been studied.. The cultural bias is always there, and reading reports can make us somewhat wiser, but not enough to give us greater ability to judge polygamous life than those who live it directly.

• You may also be interested in this article, "Polyamory: what is it and what types of polyamorous relationships are there?"