Pros and cons of being too much of a perfectionist

The heads and tails of a very common characteristic nowadays.

Are you a perfectionist? Careful, don't let it get out of hand!

It's clear, we all have a certain interest in learning and improving in different areas or aspects of our lives.. For people with a marked trait of perfectionism, it is the pursuit of excellence that motivates them to improve. Being meticulous, measured, persevering, responsible... are characteristics that can accompany the perfectionist tendencies of the human being, being able to bring out the best in oneself. However, frustration, anxiety, stubbornness and lack of efficiency can be the worst enemies of this same behavioral profile.

How to differentiate "good" perfectionism from "bad" perfectionism?At what point can being too much of a perfectionist be counterproductive for oneself? We analyze below the details that help us bring out the best in this personality trait.

People with adaptive perfectionism

People who function through adaptive, or good, perfectionism exhibit these characteristics:

• They set themselves high and motivating goals.They set high and motivating goals for themselves, assuming them as challenges, but these goals are realistic and achievable according to their conditions.

• The person has a good expectation of self-efficacy, i.e. of self-efficacy, that is to say, they know that they can and will achieve these objectives, but accept that they may not be fulfilled completely or in the way they have planned.

• In general, they are demanding of themselvesThey are not afraid of mistakes or errors, but accept them as part of life, so they do not give up easily in the face of frustration.

• They are people with extraordinary planning and organization.They are also flexible enough to deal with setbacks or unpredictable aspects.

• Accomplished perfectionists are able to enjoy and concentrate on their work, do not focus exclusively on the end result, but are able to learn and attend to the steps involved in the process.They do not focus exclusively on the end result, but are able to learn and attend to the steps required in the process.

• Another advantage of adaptive perfectionism is that it makes us able to understand and endure that there is a certain degree of uncontrollability in what happens on a daily basis, so that we become more tolerant of uncertainty.

• Adaptive perfectionism goes hand in hand with significant self-reinforcement and good self-esteem. Thus, the person is able to value his or her strengths, reward himself or herself for his or her achievements and take care of himself or herself.

• The person with adaptive perfectionism is able to enjoy a great variety of activities and to disconnect in spite of the inconveniences or small imperfections to which he/she is exposed every day at work, personal relationships...

People with maladaptive perfectionism

In the end, adaptive perfectionism is based on allowing oneself the freedom not to be perfect, and in short, to be human. It is clear that the profile we have described is highly desired and highly praised socially, personally and professionally.

But... But what happens when we go beyond certain limits in which the person begins to experience suffering? In this case, we would speak of a maladaptive perfectionismwith the following characteristics:

• These people set too many objectives for themselves that are not realistic when it comes to being fulfilled.

• They emphasize a lot on being excessively orderly and controlling. and tends to waste a lot of time on these aspects and on irrelevant details, losing focus on what is really important.

• A person with maladaptive perfectionism worries a lot about mistakes, which he/she cannot bear to make, and is excessively afraid of criticism from others.He or she does not like to make mistakes, and is excessively afraid of criticism from others.

• They do not enjoy their workHe focuses only on the result and on the reinforcement he will get from others. When he does not get this, he suffers a lot.

• He thinks that his work is never good enough and that it can always be done better, so he has the feeling that he never finishes his tasks or that he leaves them incomplete.

• Emphasizes on everything that is wronginstead of recognizing what is well done. This leads to a weakened self-esteem as he/she despises his/her strong points and concentrates on the weak points.

• Excessive self-demanding perfectionism leads to high levels of anxiety and suffering.. He does not tolerate his own mistakes and sometimes not even those of others.

• It is difficult for him to disconnect from the goals of perfection.Sometimes he can get into a loop in which he can't stop thinking about how to keep improving, correcting mistakes or what remains to be done.

• He does not tolerate the frustration of not being perfect, not doing everything right or not controlling everything 100%.

Concluding

Maladaptive perfectionism is a way of approaching life goals that has major disadvantages. Despite the best efforts of those who adopt this style of perfectionism, these people are always frustrated, tired or anxious and will not always perform as well as they could if they took a somewhat more flexible attitude.

We are all happy to do things very well, even perfectly sometimes, but that does not mean that we cannot accept our imperfections in ourselves.