Resolutions without extensions

A reflection on limiting thoughts and fear of our goals.

We start the year with the intention of making changes in our lives. We start the month of January with the enthusiasm to undertake new projects; however, sometimes it happens that as the days go by as the days go by, our resolutions begin to blur and we feel them more and more distant..

What has happened? If we were determined to achieve them and committed to giving life to new projects...

Why don't we maintain the conviction to go for what we want until we get it?

There may be several reasons that lead some people to postpone their purposes, but today we address the story of Regina, who found it very difficult to stand firm when it came to starting some of her desired projects.

Regina is a 38 year old, single, fashion designer. Her mother was a dressmaker, and she taught Regina the trade from an early age.

Her father was an alcoholic and abandoned them when she was 6 years old. From a very young age Regina helped her mother with her work to cover expenses. As an adolescent she began to create her own designs. She was very clear about what she wanted to do as a profession; she always visualized herself as a great designer.. To achieve this she had to travel to another city, and with the support of her mother she managed to study at a prestigious fashion design school.

Regina works in a renowned fashion design house. She is highly valued by her bosses, as her designs are highly valued. Regina loves what she does and feels very happy in this firm, and also has some colleagues with whom she gets along very well, it is a space where she feels fulfilled. However, For several years she has wanted to create her own clothing brand..

It has become a ritual to have her New Year's resolution list, and the first resolution is to start her own brand project, but she can't seem to take the step to make it happen. Since she started making her creations she has been saving for her own project, but Regina is afraid of failing. Y she can't make up her mind to take the plungeHow will my bosses see it? How will I coordinate the people who work for me? I've never had people under me? What if I am not able to handle the finances? What am I going to do if I am not successful and lose all my savings?

Anyway, every time you think about getting down to work and you are about to exercise the decision, in your mind, it seems that the dream turns into a nightmare..

On New Year's Eve, Regina was thinking about whether this time she was going to get up the courage to start her own clothing brand project.

Limiting thoughts

Before continuing with Regina's story, you may think that Regina should not be afraid to start her project, because she has the experience and talent, and she has the money she needs to do it. So... What's stopping her?

Maybe you, like many people, have everything you need to achieve what you long for, but for some reason, you don't realize that you already have everything you need to do it, you don't realize that you already have what it takes to achieve your dreams successfully..

Continuing with Regina's story, that New Year's Eve she experienced an unexpected event. She received a visit from a man who, when she saw him, gave her the impression that she knew him. And she was right, that man was her father. It was totally surprising. She had mixed emotions, for even though her mother never spoke to her either well or badly of him, she suffered his absence and it was clear to her that he had abandoned them.

Her father, named Guillermo, began to explain how much he regretted the mistakes he had made and that they had caused so much suffering to her and her mother. Regina was so surprised that she only listened attentively.

Guillermo explained to her how difficult his childhood had beenHe, like her, suffered the abandonment of his father, who was also an alcoholic, and also his father beat him constantly and did the same with his mother and siblings. He told her that when he married his mother it was normal for him to live with violence and alcoholism; however, he knew that this was not right and even confessed that the reason he left home was because he could no longer bear to hurt his family.

He told her that when he left home things were more difficult, that he lived almost always with anger and guilt on the surface. He told her that on one occasion he was put in jail because he was drunk and got involved in a fight and seriously injured a person. It was in jail where his life took a radical change.

Guillermo tells Regina: When I was in jail, I met a person who made me see that no matter what the situations or what we have had to live, we are not predestined to make the same mistakes of our parents, or to think that failure is the only way because circumstances did not favor us. I also understood that every human being has the possibility of deciding what he/she wants to do with his/her life, that he/she can set his/her sights on opportunitiesthat he can look at opportunities and obstacles.

Guillermo says excitedly to Regina: I am glad to know that you are doing what you like and that you are also successful, it fills me with happiness.

At that moment Regina felt moved by what her father told her, she experienced a great emotion to tell for the first time of this paternal presence in her life. And she told him: It is true that I love what I do and I know that my work is valued, but I also have great fears and I get frustrated for not trusting in myself and going for my goals.

To this, Guillermo replied: Daughter, if you observe, you will realize that you are focusing on your fears. you are focusing on your fearsand this could be preventing you from moving forward to achieve your goals. Think about this: What would happen if you put your focus on what really matters to achieve what you long for? In this way, fears will no longer have control in your life.

And if failure comes, remember that it always brings with it an apprenticeship that will make you move forward faster and with greater confidence.. There are endless opportunities for those who know what they want. There may be times when thoughts of uncertainty come, I have learned that we can replace them and meditate on what encourages us.

I am not proud of my past, but I want to tell you that today I come to you a better person. I have accepted life's opportunities to change. Even though my father is dead, I decided to forgive him, I forgave myself for all the harm I caused you and your mother, and today I want to ask you to forgive me.

Regina understands and understands what her father tells her, and chooses to forgive him.

Tackling new goals

The new year has arrived, Regina knows it's time to start her own branding project, she plucks up the courage and embarks on her long-awaited project.

Three years later, his brand was being successfully marketed throughout the country, and he was already working towards internationalization.

If you have procrastinated, if you know you know you have what it takes to succeed, but your fears are stronger.... Don't you think it's time to take the opportunities that are waiting for you?

If you want to know more about how to achieve your purposes and goals, I invite you to contact me.