Jul 20 / 2021

Secrets for a relationship to work

Life as a couple can be a very attractive and motivating project in the beginning, but as time goes by, difficulties often appear. For this reason, maintaining a stable and satisfactory relationship over the years is a major challenge in the lives of many people.

Over time, obstacles appear that must be dealt with in order to maintain a stable relationship.
The transition from falling in love to knowing the real other about the other is one of the obstacles that can occur over time.
Respecting the autonomy and spaces of each one, recognizing and accepting the other, introducing changes and novelties favor the relationship.

Difficulties in the couple

Among the obstacles that may appear and that influence this change in experience are:

The transition from the initial infatuation to the most real and complete knowledge of the other. The proximity of the coexistence makes it easier for the members of the couple to discover aspects of the spouse's personality that are unknown until now and that these can annoy or displease. Both tend to get to know each other over time in a very complete way, with strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes in the daily dynamics small disagreements or differences can take on great relevance.
The change between the initial disposition on the part of both members to achieve an adequate mutual coupling to stop caring for and promote this fit.
The development and establishment, over time, of certain functional dynamics that may be unsatisfactory or detrimental to one or both members of the couple, such as, for example, in the way of making important decisions or in the face of disagreements.

With all this, it is easy to incur frequent discussions and disagreements, complaints and conflicts, as well as mutual feelings of misunderstanding.

However, life as a couple can also be a great opportunity for learning and mutual growth when both partners can express themselves freely and openly with respect; when each one takes responsibility for their own actions and when both coincide and support each other in their objectives and projects, cooperating.

To maintain a satisfactory relationship as a couple over time, the following proposals can be taken into account:

Respect the autonomy and individual spaces of each member while seeking and promoting shared activities and spaces for communication between both.
Review the expectations placed on the relationship by each of the members and contrast them with those of the other every certain period of time.
Learn to express your own needs and desires clearly, without assuming that the other already knows them.
Be aware of personal projects and illusions and those shared within the couple relationship and support, as far as possible, their achievement.
Recognize and accept the other as they are but without ruling out the possibility of introducing changes and adjustments in the relationship when it is deemed necessary to advance in it. For this, it is important to develop communication and negotiation skills between the members of the couple.
Accept the differences between the members, not interpreting them as threats but as an opportunity to enrich the relationship. Faced with disagreements, one should not try to impose or convince, but rather mutually practice the exercise of putting oneself in the other's shoes and understanding them, with the ultimate goal of expanding the field of vision and reaching an agreement.
In the face of unavoidable problems and arguments, they must be allowed to end up strengthening the relationship through understanding and adaptation.
Introduce changes, novelties and incentives in the daily dynamics of the relationship, avoiding the monotony and boredom of the known and the predictable.