Selective memory: why do we only remember what matters to us?

What is selective memory and why does our brain spare us unnecessary memories?

We call cases of selective memory those situations in which someone seems to show an exceptional ability to remember information that reinforces his or her point of view but is significantly forgetful about other information related to the first but uncomfortable to him or her.

We talk about this selective memory with derision, implying that it is a sign of argumentative weakness. a sign of argumentative weakness or of holding an illusory view on certain topics.. As if it were something exceptional, outside the normative way of thinking.

However, the truth is that selective memory is far from being a simple resource that some people use to cling to beliefs and ideologies that can be easily jeopardized. Human memory, in general, tends to function in the same way in all people, and not only with regard to specific and controversial issues, but also with regard to private beliefs and autobiographical memories.

In short, healthy people with good debating skills without constantly clinging to dogmas are also subjects who think and remember through the filter of a selective memory.

Selective memory and identity

Memory is the basis of our identity. Ultimately, we are a mixture of our genetics and the experiences we have lived, and the latter can only leave an imprint on us through memory.

However, this does not mean that our identity is a compressed version of all the events in which we have participated directly or indirectly, as if each and every day we have lived were archived somewhere in the human brain in equivalent and well-proportioned quantities. To believe this would be to assume that our memory is reproductive, a kind of exact recording of what we have perceived and thought. And it is not: we only remember what is in some way meaningful to us..

This is what selective memory is all about. In making the content of our own memories linked to those values, needs and motivations that define our way of perceiving things, so that some memories pass through the filter into long-term memory and others do not.

Creating meaningful memories

Ever since the research of psychologist Gordon Bower showed the link between our emotional states and the way we memorize and recall all kinds of information, the idea that our memory works in a biased way even in healthy brains has gained much popularity in psychology.

Today, in fact, the idea that memory is selective by default is beginning to be well founded. For example, there are some studies that show that we are able to deliberately use strategies to forget memories, we are able to use strategies to forget memories that are not convenient for us, while lines of research showing that we are able to forget memories that are not convenient for us have been conducted in the past.While lines of research dealing with the issue of cognitive dissonance show that we have a certain propensity to basically memorize things that do not challenge beliefs that are important to us and that can therefore be related to a clear meaning.

The process would go like this: we find information that does not fit with our beliefs and that, therefore, causes us discomfort because it calls into question ideas that are important to us and in the defense of which we have spent time and effort.

However, the fact that this information has had an impact on us does not necessarily make it better memorized because it is relevant. In fact, its importance as something that causes us discomfort may be a reason in itself to manipulate and distort this memory until it becomes unrecognizable and ends up disappearing as such.

The selective memory bias

The fact that the normal functioning of memory is selective is very relevant, since it is further proof that our system is further evidence that our nervous system is made more for survival than for knowing the environment in which we live faithfully. in which we live in a faithful and relatively objective way.

In addition, research on selective memory allows us to seek strategies to take advantage of this phenomenon by exploring techniques to ensure that traumatic and unpleasant memories in general are not a limiting factor in people's quality of life.

To be clear that there is no single correct way of remembering one's own life trajectory, but that we have the possibility of choosing between different visions of our own life. We have the possibility of choosing between equally biased visions of who we are and what we have done, can serve to eliminate prejudices.can serve to eliminate prejudices about trauma therapies and encourage us to look for adaptive ways to make our memory a factor that brings wellbeing to our way of life, rather than giving us problems.

A more realistic view

Selective memory is proof that neither our identity nor what we think we know about the world are objective truths to which we have access simply because we have spent a long time in existence. In the same way that our attention focuses on some things in the present and leaves out others, something very similar happens with memory.

As the world is always overflowing with a quantity of information that we will never be able to process in its entirety, we must choose what to attend to, and this is something we do consciously or unconsciously. The exception is not what we are not consciously aware of and do not know well, but what we do not know well. and do not know well, but what we do have a relatively complete knowledge of. By default, we are not aware of what happened, what is happening or what will happen.

This is partly positive and partly negative, as we have already seen. It is positive because it allows us to leave out information that is not relevant, but it is negative because it introduces the existence of biases. Having this clear will allow us not to have unrealistic expectations about our ability to know ourselves and everything around us.

Bibliographical references:

• Ardila, R. (2004). Psychology in the Future. Madrid: Pirámide.
• Gross, Richard (2010). Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behaviour. London: Hachette UK.
• Papalia, D. and Wendkos, S. (1992). Psychology. Mexico: McGraw-Hill, p. 9.
• Triglia, Adrian; Regader, Bertrand; Garcia-Allen, Jonathan (2016). Psicológicamente hablando. Paidós.