Self-improvement through resilience

What is resilience? How to identify a resilient person?

We tend to associate traumatic traumatic or difficult events or difficult events as something negative and we tend to feel pity or sympathy with the people who are going through them, but I would like to offer the other side of the coin. We can learn from them and grow in various aspects of our lives thanks to bad times or moments that have caused us great psychological impact. This does not mean that we should downplay the importance or seriousness of the event, but rather that we should value the fact that it has both negative and positive aspects and focus on the latter.

Surely some event comes to your mind that since it happened, your life has never been the same again, and it is common to believe that things are better now than they were before.. Because, at the end of the day, most of us are capable of turning the page on these bad moments.

This is precisely what I want to talk about today, resilience. resilience.

What is resilience?

Resilience is the ability to face life's adversities and emerge stronger from them.. It is the result of a dynamic process that varies according to the circumstances, the nature of the situation, the context and the stage of life of the individual, which can be expressed differently depending on the culture (Manciaux et al., 2001).

As a process, it is not so much the person himself, but his evolution and the process of structuring his own life history. life history (Cynulnik, 2001).

What are resilient people like?

To find out what resilient people are like, nothing better than reading Bertrand Regader's article entitled "The resilient personality: are you a resilient person?", where you can get a more extensive view on this issue. The fundamental characteristics of the resilient personality, summarized, are the following:

• They are confident in themselves and their ability to cope.

• They have social support.

• They have a meaningful purpose in life.

• They believe they can influence what happens around them.

• They know that they can learn from positive experiences as well as negative ones.

• They conceive and face life in a more optimistic, enthusiastic and energetic way.

• They are curious and open to new experiences.

• They possess high levels of positive emotionality.

They cope with difficult experiences by using humor.Humorcreative exploration and optimistic thinking (Fredickson and Tugade, 2003). This positive change they experience as a result of the coping process leads them to a better situation than the one they were in before the event (Calhoun and Tedechi, 1999). The changes can be in oneself (at the individual level), in interpersonal relationships (with other people) and in life philosophy.

Changes in oneselfSelf-improvement: Increases confidence in one's own abilities to face the adversities of the future. It is common in people who have been subjected to very strict rules in the past and from their struggle, they have managed to redirect their life.

Changes in personal relationshipsThe traumatic experience can strengthen the union of relationships with people who have been in these hard times.

Changes in life philosophyHard experiences tend to shake the ideas on which our vision of the world is built (Janoff-Bulman, 1992). Scales of values change and people tend to appreciate more the value of things that were previously ignored or taken for granted.

Does this mean that there is no suffering?

Of course you experience negative emotions and stress, in fact**, without it personal growth** through them would not be possible, it does not eliminate pain, but coexists with it.

Nor does it mean that there is growth in all aspects of a person's life, but that positive changes may be experienced in some areas but not in others.

Among the most studied life events are parental divorce and traumatic stressors such as abuse, neglect, and war (Grarmezy and Masten, 1994).

One of the best known cases on resilience is that of Tim Guenard and explains it in his book: "Stronger than Hate”.

When he was 3 years old, his mother abandoned him on a power pole. At the age of 5 his father gave him a beating that made him stay in the hospital until he was 7 years old. He suffered mistreatment from the people in charge of his care and ended up in a psychiatric hospital due to an administrative error and from there to a reformatory, where he learned to hate the whole world and only the desire to kill his father kept him on his feet.

The vicious circle continued with more runaways, physical abuse, street experiences, a rape and prostitution mafias.

From the age of 16 his life began to change and now Tim is a happily married man of almost 50 years with 4 children.. He welcomes in his own home people with problems to whom he guides and encourages them to find new reasons to live by offering them a roof over their heads and a helping hand. In this way he fulfills the promise he made when he was a teenager: to welcome others with the same needs he suffered.

Can we do anything to build resilience?

According to the American Sociological Association there are 8 things we can do to become more resilient:

• Establish relationshipsIn these times we need to let ourselves be helped more than ever and establish affective bonds with family, friends and people who are important to us. Helping others can also be beneficial to strengthen resilience.

• Avoid seeing events as obstaclesYou cannot prevent certain events that hurt you from happening, but the way you interpret and react to them can. Think about the future and keep hope that everything will change sooner or later.

• Do activities that make you that make you feel better about the situation while it lasts: if you feel better walking, talking to a friend, hugging your pet, do it often.

• Take decisive actionIn adverse situations, look for solutions and act in the best way you can according to your situation. You will feel that you are doing something productive to change your situation.

• Look for opportunities to discover yourselfThink of those things that you have learned and in which aspects you have improved. You will see that the suffering has not been in vain and that you have grown in this process, look at all the things you have gained and not the things you have left on the way.

• Cultivate a positive view of yourselfTrust in your abilities to resolve the conflicts you are going through and how valid you are.

• Do not lose hope.No matter how black the sky is, the sun will always come out. Visualize yourself in the situation you want to be in and not in what you fear.

• Take care of yourselfPay attention to your needs and desires. It will help you to keep your body and mind healthy and ready to face the situation you are living.

Bibliographical references:

• Poseck, V., Carbelo, B., Vecina, M. (2006).. The traumatic experience from positive psychology: resilience and posttraumatic growth.. Papers of the Psychologist. Vol. 27 (1). 40-49.
• Gómez Campos, A. M. (2008).. Ten actions to develop resilience.. Portafolio. Retrieved November 12 from: http://search.proquest.com/docview/334389604?accountid=15299