Sex in the elderly

Sex in older people

For many years the sexuality in the old people It has been a taboo subject. In fact, even today there are those who consider it something shameful or out of place. However, doctors say that it can and should be maintained sexual activity because it is physically and psychologically healthy. However, it is known that the periodicity of sexual relations decreases considerably among this nucleus of the population; There is no clear age barrier, but it is known that between 65 and 70 years of age the frequency is lower because one begins to think that they are very old and that it is no longer typical of their age. Preconceptions about sex in older people are usually:

• Older people have no sexual desire
• Sexual experiences are less satisfying in old age
• Having sex is ‘dirty old men’
• In old age there are more chances of having sexual deviations
• Sex is bad for your health

All specialists agree that sex is greatly influenced by cultural, religious and social behavior throughout the life of each person. Older people do not usually talk about this topic because they are ashamed. It is common to find women who have experienced sexuality as something related to marriage, procreation and male satisfaction. That is why they have more moral prejudices with sex.

Ultimately, discrimination and machismo also play an important role in this specific case because if an older man continues to have sex, he is seen as 'macho', but if he does, the woman is censored and is thought to be a shame to your age. This should not be the case and fortunately this mentality is changing. On the other hand, there is also the stereotype of "dirty old man", applicable to men who, at an advanced age, continue to think of sex as something desirable.

The majority of sexologists, psychologists and geriatricians attach paramount importance to dialogue to solve the difficulties that advanced age entails in the practice of sex. It is necessary to speak to try to break the taboos, to know each other, to know what each one likes, and above all to understand that sex is not only intercourse, there are other practices that can be very fulfilling. Sexual behavior should be slower, calmer, and with more aspects of arousal, such as fondling, games, or other non-coital practices. As we age, intercourse is just one more part of the sexual act, not the most sought after as it often happens among young people.

In general, and from our Mediterranean culture, men tolerate physiological changes worse because they have lived in a time when sexuality was somewhat more masculine and focused on their coital capacity (virility focuses on the male member, on the capacity erection). For this reason, when they notice that their erections are slower and that they ejaculate less, they think that their sexuality has been reduced.

Many women, on the other hand, experience sexuality more calmly after menopause, because they no longer have to worry about becoming pregnant or using contraceptive methods. The physiological changes that menopause entails cause decreased lubrication and less flexibility and strength in the pelvic muscles, which can take longer to reach orgasm and notice that they are less intense. Fortunately, the fact that the man takes longer to ejaculate can lead to more enjoyment, more time for the woman to discover new things, especially if her partner accepts this extra time as an opportunity to explore new ways of practice sex.

When despite everything, there are problems for the practice of sex, having a stable relationship, there may be an underlying sexual problem (as in younger people) and it is recommended to go to the urologist, gynecologist or psychologist.

For certain common difficulties, suitable solutions can be proposed, under the supervision of the appropriate specialist:

• For women there are vaginal creams or lubricants to treat the lack of lubrication.
• Local estrogen therapies are also marketed after menopause, although they are not only used for sexual problems, but also to prevent other disorders related to the decrease in the female hormone.

In the case of men, if the cause of sexual problems is vascular, there are medications such as sildenafil or other analogues, which are very effective. They are products that promote erection, but do not prevent other changes in men such as needing a longer arousal time or having a later ejaculation. Until recently it was a field little investigated because it was considered that the elderly did not have the right to sex. They should always be used under medical supervision, since, like any drug, it has contraindications and side effects.

You can also "prepare" the practice of sex depending on the limitations of the partner. For example:

• If there is osteoarthritis, take an analgesic type paracetamol that prevents pain due to joint abuse, in addition to avoiding positions that make more pain and enhance those that facilitate pain-free intercourse.
• In the case of ischemic heart disease, practice sex so that the passive subject is the heart disease.
• Use of bronchodilators preventively before sexual intercourse, etc.

In any case…

Consensual sex between adults is appropriate and beneficial, and there are no good or bad practices by themselves. Any practice that makes you feel good, wanted, and desired is appropriate, whatever your age.