Social skills in childhood: what are they and how to develop them?

What are they and why are social skills so relevant in child development?

In recent times, there has been a growing awareness of the importance attributed to the acquisition of adaptive social skills during the first years of human life.

Generally speaking, it has been demonstrated how these skills condition the future social and psychological functioning of an individual. of an individual. It could be said that the influence is circumscribed to all vital areas of the person: professional, academic, interpersonal and personal.

The concept of social skills

Caballo in 1986 defined the concept of social skills as the set of behaviors performed by an individual in an interpersonal context in which he/she expresses feelings, attitudes and behaviors.The social skills of a person are those that are appropriate to the situation, respecting those behaviors in others, and where they generally solve the immediate problems of the situation while reducing the likelihood of future problems appearing.

There are many specific behaviors that can be included in the category of social skills. A simple classification differentiates two main areas: verbal behavior and nonverbal behavior. Each of these categories consists of different, more concrete dimensions

Non-verbal behavior: gestures, tics, gestures...

With regard to the non-verbal aspects of communication, the following variables can be assessed: facial expression (which indicates the level of interest and/or understanding of the message transmitted by the interlocutor), the look (useful in the expression of emotions), posture (describes the attitude, emotional state and own and others' feelings), gestures (increase or replace the meaning of the message transmitted), proximity and physical contact (both reflect the type of relationship and link between the interlocutors -approximation or distance-), vocal cues (both the tone and volume, speed, pauses, fluency, etc. modulate the meaning of the verbal message expressed) and personal appearance (offers information about one's interests and affinities) become the main ones.

Verbal behavior: what we express through language

On the other hand, verbal behavior is used to communicate both cognitive aspects (such as thoughts, reflections, opinions or ideas) and emotions or feelings. feelings. It is also used to inform about past events, demand information, justify an opinion, etc.

In this type of behavior, it is important to consider the influence exerted by factors related to the situation in which the message is produced on the characteristics of the interlocutors, as well as on the objectives to be achieved with such information. A fundamental requirement for the success of the communicative process lies in the need for the sender and receiver to share the code (language) through which this verbal behavior takes place.

Learning social skills in early childhood

More explicitly, the learning of social skills is significantly more important in the first years of life. because it is during the preschool and primary school stage when the child's socialization processes begin.

These first social experiences will condition the way in which children will relate to their parents and other family members, peers and other figures more or less distant from their social environment. In order to achieve an adequate emotional and cognitive growth and development process, it is essential for the child to acquire behavioral guidelines that allow him/her to achieve the objectives both at a personal level (self-esteem, autonomy, decision-making and coping skills) and at an interpersonal level (establishment of healthy friendly, romantic, family, professional and social relationships, etc.).

Another of the reasons that motivates us to highlight the importance of specifically allocating a part of the teaching to promote social skills in early stages is the erroneous and traditional and widely extended conception of considering that this type of aptitudes are assimilated automatically with the passage of time. As a consequence of this belief, the importance of emphasizing this type of learning is de-emphasized and, as a consequence, the child ends up and, consequently, the child ends up not internalizing these aspects that are so relevant for his or her development.

Finally, knowing how to be competent in the area of social skills enables the child to assimilate in a deeper and more complete way other types of abilities such as intellectual or cognitive ones.

What are the causes of social skills deficits in children?

A behavioral deficit in the management of social skills may be due to the following causes:

• Deficits in general skillsDeficits in general skills: motivated by the absence of their acquisition or by the expression of inappropriate social behaviors.
• Conditioned anxiety: in the face of past aversive experiences or due to observational learning through an inappropriate model, the person may present a high level of anxiety that prevents him/her from giving that adaptive response.
• Poor cognitive appraisalWhen the individual presents a negative self-concept combined with a pessimistic cognitive functioning, he/she may avoid performing certain actions because he/she questions his/her own competence in such a situation. In order to avoid the discomfort produced by this self-evaluation, the child will avoid performing such behaviors.
• Lack of motivation to actIf the consequence following the performance of an appropriate social behavior does not occur or is neutral for the individual, this behavior will lose its reinforcing value and will cease to be emitted.
• The subject does not know how to discriminater: given the lack of knowledge of the assertive rights that every person should have, he/she cannot differentiate whether or not such rights are being violated in a given situation. Therefore, he/she will not take that socially competent and assertive action.
• Restrictive environmental obstaclesIf the environment makes it difficult for appropriate social behaviors to be openly manifested, they will tend not to occur in such a context (especially in authoritarian, controlling and non-affective family environments).

The adult as a model for children's learning of social skills

According to the learning theories of Bandura and other experts, two are the fundamental elements for the learning process to take place.

The first factor refers to the type of consequences and their temporal contingency after the emission of a specific behavior. When a behavior is followed by a pleasant consequence, the behavior tends to increase in frequency, while if the consequence of the behavior is unpleasant and contingent, the tendency will be to decrease or eliminate the behavior.

The second variable refers to the reproduction of behaviors based on the observation of behavioral models or referents..

Given that these are the main sources that motivate behavioral learning, the nature of the attitudes and the cognitive-behavioral typology of the adult educators is very relevant. These figures are in charge of applying certain consequences to the behaviors emitted by the children. and represent the models that will serve as a reference in the execution of behaviors by children.

Educational keys in the field of social skills

For all these reasons, it is important to bear in mind that, both in the first case and in the second, their practices must be adequate to ensure that the child learns a competent and satisfactory behavioral repertoire. Specifically, there are four fundamental attitudes that adults must display in order to achieve the aforementioned goal:

• Providing an adequate role modelThe role model must always perform adequate behavioral repertoires, since if the child observes behavioral divergences depending on the situation or the interlocutor, he/she will not be able to correctly internalize which one to apply, where and how. On the other hand, it should be kept in mind that children are also susceptible to copying maladaptive behaviors observed in role models if these are carried out in the real context on a regular basis. Role models should show competence in expressing their own opinion and feelings, making requests, asserting their point of view and rejecting inappropriate verbalizations in a fair and respectful manner.
• Valuing positive aspectsAs mentioned above, for an appropriate behavior to tend to increase in frequency, it is essential to reward the sender of such an action with a positive and time-contingent consequence. Numerous studies show that positive reinforcement is the most effective methodology of the four principles of operant conditioning (positive/negative reinforcement and positive/negative punishment), to a greater extent than criticism or threat in the face of inappropriate behaviors. An equally relevant aspect is to offer the child the possibility of autonomously performing the behaviors that are considered appropriate, including the initial moments in which that action is not completely correctly executed. Repeated practice will provide the improvement of the behavior, so it is not advisable for the model to deprive the child of this autonomous practice.
• Facilitating training in divergent thinkingTeaching as a habit the idea that there is not, on many occasions, a single solution to solve a given problem can facilitate the establishment and development of creative capacity, as well as promote active coping with possible adversities or events to overcome.
• Providing occasions that facilitate the practice of HHSSThe more varied the situations in which the child has to develop, the more competent he/she will be in a greater number of social situations. An intrinsic characteristic of social situations is their spontaneity, thus facilitating the child's ability to implement the divergent reasoning process mentioned above.

Some conclusions

By way of conclusion, it can be extracted from the above that the infantile stage should be understood as a highly sensitive period for the acquisition of most of the learning processes..

The HHSS become a series of fundamental skills that can be placed at the same level (or even higher) than other more instrumental learning such as linguistic or mathematical aptitude, since the development and individual-relational emotional stability of a person in later life stages will derive from the consolidation of a repertoire of adaptive social skills during the initial periods.

Learning Theories show how a large part of the teachings are transmitted by observation and imitation of models. In view of this premise, the fundamental role that falls on the main socializing figures during the infant stage should be underlined: parents and educators.parents and educators. Therefore, both parties must have sufficient and adequate resources to exercise a positive and beneficial modeling on the recipient during his or her maturity growth.

Bibliographical references:

• Bandura, A. (1999a). A social cognitive theory of personality. In L. Pervin & O. John (Eds.), Handbook of personality (2nd ed., pp. 154-196). New York: Guilford.
• Caballo,V. (1993): Manual de técnicas de terapia y modificación de conducta. Madrid: Siglo XXl.
• Caballo, V. (1983). Manual de entrenamiento y evaluación de las habilidades sociales. Madrid: Siglo XXI.