Sternberg’s triangular theory of love

What are the different ways of loving, and on what principle is each love relationship based?

The triangular theory of love aims to explain the complex phenomenon of love and interpersonal love relationships. and interpersonal love relationships. It was proposed by the psychologist Robert Sternberg, and describes the different elements that make up love, as well as the possible combinations of these elements when forming different types of relationships.

It is considered a useful theory, as it helps us to understand this complex feeling that, besides being very important in our lives, is the basis of many of our interpersonal relationships.

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Psychology and love

Love and falling in love is a topic that is very interesting, as it is one of the most intense feelings we can experience. Love affects us in every way and when we meet that special person, it changes our lives completely. In fact, it significantly modifies the way we perceive reality and makes us make decisions in a different way than usual. and causes us to make decisions in a different way than usual, to orient our relationships with others differently, and to rearrange our priorities about what matters in life.

When we fall in love, the intense emotions and passion that surround us affect our mind and body.

Therefore, psychologists, sociologists and doctors have tried to understand and explain it from different points of view (biological, cultural, etc.). In recent decades, research in this field has been varied, seeking to understand falling in love, love, attraction or disaffection..

• If you want to know some conclusions of these studies, we invite you to read our post: "Love and falling in love: 7 surprising researches".

Sternberg's theory of love

One of the best known theories of love is Sternberg's triangular theory. Robert Sternberg, is an American psychologist, professor at Yale University, widely recognized for his research. He has not only been interested in love, but intelligence and creativity have also been objects of interest in his research in the field of cognitive psychology and emotions. In particular, his contributions in the field of the study of intelligence are well known.

However, is also known for his theory on love and interpersonal relationships, and many experts on this subject have and many experts in this field have supported his ideas.

Understanding his theory

For Sternberg, love is composed of three qualities that manifest themselves in any love relationship: intimacy, passion and commitment. These elements, in practice, intermingle with each other, but knowing how to distinguish them in a theoretical framework helps us to understand the phenomenon of love and to better recognize its nuances and details. Below you can find a brief explanation about them.

• IntimacyIntimacy: Intimacy refers to the feeling of closeness, the connection between the two people who are part of the love story, the trust between them, friendship and affection.
• PassionPassion: This component is the excitement or energy of the relationship. The feelings of physical attraction and the drive or need to be with the other person and to be intimate.
• CommitmentThis refers to the decision to stay in the relationship despite the ups and downs that may arise. It includes aspects such as lived moments, relationship history, etc.

These three elements represent the corners of the pyramid of Sternberg's theory, with intimacy at the highest point and commitment and passion at the sides. Depending on the combinations that occur between these components, romantic relationships will differ. For example, in a new relationship, passion predominates over intimacy and commitment.

The possible combinations or types of love

According to the possible combinations, Sternberg affirms that there are different forms of love. These forms of love can be understood in isolation or as stages:

1. affection

Affection refers to true friendship. There is only intimacy, but no passion or commitment. The partners in the relationship feel close and trust each other, but there is no desire for intimacy or commitment as a couple.

2. Infatuation

In this form of love there is a lot of passion, however, there is neither intimacy nor commitment, which makes this type of relationship superficial.This makes this type of relationship superficial. It would be a kind of romance but that ends soon or the beginning of a relationship, in which there is a lot of desire for intimate relations but there is not enough trust or commitment.

3. Empty love

Empty love is characterized by a high commitment, without passion or intimacy.. This is common in self-interested or long-term relationships, when there is neither trust nor intimacy, but there is commitment to being together.

4. Romantic love

Romantic love is a form of love in which the partners in the relationship feel attraction and excitement.They also have trust and closeness. Romantic love has inspired thousands of novels and movies, it is the love felt by Romeo and Juliet. If this stage continues with great experiences together, it could eventually lead to commitment.

5. Sociable love

This usually occurs in long-term relationships. There is intimacy and commitment, but no passion.. This is the type of love that can manifest itself when the couple lacks desire and excitement for each other, but living together, children and experiences together keep them together. This relationship may seem satisfying to the partners and last a long time.

6. Fatuous love

Fatuous love is dominated by passion and commitment, but there is no intimacy.. Fatuous love can occur because the partners want to be together, because there is a desire and excitement to live intimate experiences, however, they do not have many things in common.

7. Consummate love

This is complete love. It is formed by the three elements of Sternberg's pyramidal theory. Consummate love is the main archetype of love, it is the ideal love and it is also called mature love..

• Do you want to know more about mature love? Visit our article, "Mature love: why is second love better than first love?"

It is necessary to work on the three elements to achieve consummate love.

Sternberg speaks of "non-love" when these three elements are not present in the relationship.. The same author states that couples with consummate or complete love continue to share intimate desire and passion on all levels, even after many years have passed. However, Sternberg points out that maintaining consummate love is more complicated than achieving it, so it is necessary for couples to work on the three basic elements of his theory. After all, actions speak louder than words.

The balance between these three ingredients can change as a relationship progresses. However, time alone does not result in high intimacy, passion or commitment. Knowing these three ingredients of love can help actors recognize when they need to improve one of the elements, or it can help them make the decision to leave. Sternberg concludes that without the expression of all three components, even the most authentic love can die..

What happens in our brains when we fall in love?

Many experts on the subject claim that love is a complex phenomenon, and despite the many investigations that have been carried out so far, there has not always been a consensus among researchers. Falling in love, attraction and love are complex experiences in which cultural and Biological factors interact.

• But what happens in our brain when we fall in love? what happens in our brain when we fall in love? We answer this question in our article "The chemistry of love: a very potent drug".