How to Manage and Reduce Tantrums in Young Children

The appearance of the tantrums It should not worry the parents and its manifestation has nothing to do with the good or bad education that the child receives.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

• Tantrums are angry behaviors through which the child expresses his tiredness, inability to express himself in words or frustration to do or achieve something he wants.
• They are absolutely normal in the first four years of life, and should not be a cause for concern.
• Parents should remain calm and not give in to their requests. To avoid them, a good method is to anticipate what they are going to do in the next few hours.

Tantrums are episodes of strong outbursts of temper by young children and generally consist of the manifestation of different behaviors such as crying, yelling, insulting, throwing themselves on the ground, ignoring any type of reasoning, kicking or punching , scratching or biting, hitting the head on the floor or wall, throwing or breaking objects, among others.

These behaviors are usually manifested during the first four years of life, being especially significant around the age of two. But over time, tantrums tend to subside, so they are often more difficult to occur as the child grows older.

The frequency of tantrums depends on the temperament of the and also on the way in which the adult deals with them. If they are treated properly, they will disappear without major problem, but if they are not dealt with properly, the tantrums will persist even in children older than seven years, who will continue to use them to achieve their goals.

Tantrums are a normal developmental phenomenon. In fact, its appearance indicates a certain level of maturity, independence and individuality in the child, insofar as it means that he wants to start doing things as and when he wishes and feels capable of resisting rules and limits. from his parents. But at the same time, it is important to help the child overcome them since their permanence over time indicates the presence of immature behavior and the use by the child of an inappropriate method to achieve what is proposed, as well as to circumvent the rules established in their environment.

The appearance of the tantrums should not worry the parents and their manifestation has nothing to do with the good or bad education that the child receives.

What are the reasons for the appearance of tantrums?

Generally, they originate from any of these causes:

• The child becomes frustrated because he is not allowed to control or dominate a certain situation or comes into conflict with his parents because he has to do what they tell him and it does not coincide with what he wants. A clear example occurs when the child expresses the intention not to go to sleep when it is time to go to bed.
• Tiredness or over-excitement after a lot of stimulation can overwhelm your emotions.
• The child becomes frustrated when he cannot do something, such as starting a toy.
• Insufficient command of language to express in words what happens to him, can lead him to resort to tantrums to express his discomfort. Generally, this case occurs between two and three years of age.
• In the developmental stage between three and four years old, children usually go through a crisis of rebellion caused by a period of self-assertion and defense of their individuality. They seek to differentiate themselves from others and demand greater autonomy. For this reason, at this stage it is common for the minor to systematically oppose what is asked of him.

Can tantrums be prevented or avoided?

As they occur, parents' awareness of the times and situations in which they are most likely to occur also increases. So by paying attention to common triggers, many tantrums can be avoided.

In cases in which the tantrums are produced by the child's frustration at not feeling capable of doing a certain activity, it may be useful to teach him new ways to face the activity successfully or to find another activity that is simpler and more appropriate to his level of development.

If the tantrums appear due to overexcitement or fatigue, after having been in contact with very active or demanding games, the time allocated to such activity should be shortened and

When children are frustrated because they are not allowed to play with objects or appliances in the house that are attractive to them, a good way to avoid the tantrum produced by the frustration of not being able to manipulate them is to place them out of their sight.

They can also be prevented, especially in younger children, if at the first signs they are distracted or their attention is directed to another toy or activity.

A good method to avoid tantrums is to anticipate what they are going to do in the next few hours. This fact makes them prepared and perceives that they are taken into account without being faced with an instantaneous and unexpected imposition.

How to act when they appear?

It is very important to bear in mind that, if you give in and the child achieves his purposes thanks to the tantrums, they will continue over time and even become more frequent, since they will have been useful.

It is essential to downplay tantrums as soon as they are occurring, to show some indifference and not to give the child special attention when he or she shows aggressive behavior. Good handling of the situation is to maintain an attitude of authority, control and serenity over the situation at all times, without acting in the same way as the minor. Communicating to the child that the issue will be discussed as soon as he is calm and in a position to address it properly is a good way to reach a solution.

At the same time, the appropriate and desirable behaviors of the child must always be validated, paying special attention and recognition as they appear. These behaviors should be related to generosity, respect for others, sharing or lending their belongings and learning to ask for things appropriately.

Along the same lines, it is essential to progressively stimulate tolerance to frustration by teaching them to properly express and channel their feelings, differentiating between wants and needs, between what they want and what they can get.

Appropriate limits and goals should be set for their age, help them develop new skills and value the effort invested and not just the end result of a certain task.

In cases in which tantrums appear due to insufficient command of language by very young children, parents must translate what happens to the child, put words to that attitude and teach him to control himself.

When they appear in the stage of affirmation and defense of their individuality, the child should be given the opportunity to explore, facilitating new learning that will help him develop his future personality, avoiding excessive prohibitions. At the same time, they must learn alternative behaviors to aggressiveness.

If parents are firm with limits and consistent and consistent with the consequences of behaviors, the child will acquire the self-control necessary to achieve better ways to resolve conflicts.