The 10 Keys to Overcome Shyness Once and for All

In this article we offer a total of ten tips and tricks to overcome shyness.

Do you find it difficult to relate to people? Are you unable to express your opinions or feelings? Do you care too much about what others think of you? Are you never the center of attention at social gatherings?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, we invite you to learn 10 keys to overcoming shyness..

Overcoming Shyness: 10 Keys to Overcome Your Introversion

Most shy people (65%) believe that they are shy because of external circumstances, such as excessive control by their families, having been treated in an authoritarian or overprotective way, or having suffered bullying in their childhood.

Shyness should not be confused with introversion, since the latter concept alludes to Biological bases of the personality, while shyness usually represents a problem when relating to other people. 23% attribute their shyness to internal causes, such as poor self-image. Fortunately, 86% of shy people are optimistic that they can improve their problem if they set their minds to it.as reported by The Shyness Instituteexperts in studies on this trait.

We invite you to find out if you are extraverted o introvert by reading the following article:

• "How to know if you tend towards introversion or extraversion".

Shyness, as well as any other problem, needs professional advice and follow-up, but in mild cases there are ten tips that can help overcome it if we have the clear intention to do so.

1. Don't be so hard on yourself

Don't demand so much of yourself when you are surrounded by people and you think that your contributions are not going the way you wanted them to.. Don't worry. Most of your judgments are not based on facts but on negative thoughts you have learned about what should be optimal social behavior.

There is no such thing as perfection, it is best to go with your gut feeling. The most important thing, especially at the beginning, is to relativize the importance of even those experiences that frighten you so much: is it really so serious to make a fool of yourself from time to time, if you are learning to gain fluency in expressing yourself and being yourself in front of others? How many of those people to whom you are obsessed with offering only your best side will you have in your daily life three or four years from now?

Respond to social situations authentically.

Don't be reactive to them. Don't try to impersonate an attitude or behavior that you are not really feeling. Laugh if you find something funny, not out of commitment. Speak if you want to speak, not because the situation demands it.

Think that people's social performance depends not so much on whether they check the boxes for actions that are considered popular, but on how comfortable you show you are with what you are doing..... Even if you do something that is considered odd or eccentric, it may work in your favor if you show that it is a deliberate and genuine action that reflects your personality, and that you are even aware that it is technically uncommon but you don't care if they see that side of you.

3. When you are about to say something or make a move....

Push the beliefs that your mind sends you to the limit.. Many beliefs are limiting, sometimes you have to risk to engage in that conversation that so much fear (better said: emotion) generates you.

If you get used to always giving in to your fears, you will enter into a dynamic in which it is no longer that you do not dare, it is that you will not even propose to go beyond the habits and behaviors that are familiar to you, with all the limitations that this implies.

4. Learn and do not be afraid to take steps towards new behaviors in social situations.

Reality should be conceived, in a way, as a test bench.. Experiment, there is nothing more stimulating than trying things out, even if they go "wrong". In reality, these are unique learnings and experiences that you take away: you are sowing seeds that sooner or later will bear fruit.

5. You can practice new social behaviors with people you trust.

You can practice with those close to you until you get used to engaging in conversation.. Maintain eye contact, develop your body language, express your ideas and emotions... Little by little you will feel more comfortable and you will expand your radius of action. Here is a good article to develop this set of social skills.

6. If you have been avoiding doing something, you can write down what you are going to say.

Do you like to write? You can rehearse the interaction by writing it down on a notepad or in front of a mirror until you feel comfortable.. Don't obsess: remember that failures should be understood as successes, since they provide you with lessons that will help you in the future.

7. Drop into group meetings

It is a good idea to frequent groups and environments where your interests coincide with yours. and try talking to new people. You will be able to strike up conversations in which you can contribute a lot, and perhaps from there it will be easier for you to move on to the personal level with your interlocutors.

8. Don't worry about social acceptance

Practice your assertiveness and don't be afraid to be more spontaneous. Actually, being spontaneous is a very positive thing, and if you are, rest assured that others will appreciate it. Speak your mind honestly and assertively, and people are likely to accept you and be receptive to your opinions.

9. Get used to speaking in front of more people.

Start getting yourself seen in situations where you may feel more comfortable.. Even if you don't realize it, you will be training yourself and your brain will be assimilating that speaking in front of other people is not a risk; there is nothing to be afraid of.

10. If you feel nervous and shy, you can remember this

If you are ever overcome by nervousness, remember that that there are great people in history who overcame their shyness.. Although it may be costly, shyness will not be an obstacle to achieving your personal and professional goals.