The 10 pillars of perfect nonverbal communication
Knowing how the body communicates beyond words is essential to express more and better.
The key to being able to connect well with others is to go far beyond words: you have to know how to use good nonverbal communication. Even if we don't realize it, we always communicate with our whole body, not only through letters, words and phrases.
The posture we use, the gestures, the expression on our face... all of this speaks about who we are and what we are feeling, whether we want it or not. Now, we can use this fact in our favor, or let it betray us by sending an inappropriate message.
We will now review the It must be taken into account that communication is much earlier than the appearance of language. Throughout the evolution of the species through which our ancestors have passed, gestural communication was a tool without which it would have been impossible to pass on information to others about one's intentions, what is happening in the environment, the presence of dangers, etc.
With the emergence of language, the transmission of information became more precise, but the importance of nonverbal communication was still there, since it was the pillar on which the use of words and sentences had been built..
Controlling the way in which bodies communicate, both to know more about others and to convey the information about ourselves that interests us, is something that can be achieved with practice and knowing the basics of perfect nonverbal language. can be achieved with practice and knowledge of some theoretical aspects.. The latter you can see below:
1. Control your feet
Many times we pay a lot of attention to how we gesture with our hands and how our interlocutor does it, but if we look down a little we will find another of the key pieces of nonverbal communication: the positioning of the legs and feet..
The fact is that where they are pointing tells us a lot about the person's intentions. As a general rule, the place where the tips are pointing indicates the target you are aiming at. For example, if they are placed diagonally and do not "face" the place where the person you are talking to is, you probably want to avoid that conversation.
2. Adapt to what the other person is doing
Adopting a similar posture and gesture style to the other person makes it easier to connect with them.
However, To facilitate the emergence of a fluid relationship with someone, make sure that non-verbal communication expresses the idea of relaxation and tranquility. This is achieved by maintaining an open posture, with relaxed muscles and without keeping the limbs close to the trunk.
4. Use the power of the gaze
Controlling your gaze well allows you to regulate dynamics of kindness or domination. In this way it is possible to put a lot of emphasis on what is said, or give a moment for the other person to express his or her ideas without fear.. In addition, paying attention to your gaze allows you to detect certain basic emotions.
5. Touching oneself reveals information
Touching certain parts of one's own body tells us a lot about how one feels. Many gestures that are based on touching parts of the face, such as the mouth or nose, are a way of revealing information.such as the mouth or nose, are a sign of protection and defensiveness, a sign that there is something in the environment that is causing tension.
6. Notice the spaces
Nonverbal communication consists not only of gestures and movements, but also of the space people maintain around you. This aspect of nonverbal communication is called proxemics..
Notice these spaces and know how to control it indicates who feels more vulnerable and who feels so powerful that they invade the territory of others.
7. Maintain coherence
It is very important not to generate ambiguities in what you express through nonverbal communication.. That is why it is necessary that your body does not send contradictory signals. If you want to transmit tranquility, do it with your whole body: do not relax the muscles of your face while contracting your biceps to bring your arms closer to the front of your body.
8. Analyze smiles
Smiles have a very important social role, since they allow you to create moments of harmony and camaraderie. However, many times they are used out of compromise, and this is something you should be able to detect to know the person's mood.
To know if a smile has been sincere, it is enough to analyze if crow's feet have appeared on the sides of the eyes, if they have lowered slightly, and if the teeth are showing.If these signs do not appear, the smile is sincere. If these signs do not appear, the smile is fake.
9. Use active listening
Quick, dry movements denote nervousness and lack of control. Avoid them to allow the other person to trust you more and open up more.
The importance of practice
Many of the keys to controlling nonverbal communication are best learned when, from a theoretical foundation, we begin to put them into practice. Each person and situation is unique, and therefore it is sometimes difficult to recognize the styles in which each person expresses the nonverbal communication patterns described here.
Thus, practicing and "training" in real time is essential to become proficient in the to become skilled in the art of mastering body communication.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)