The 16 keys to learn to manage anger in ourselves.

Tips and recommendations to learn how to manage anger in ourselves effectively.

Anger is a basic emotion that can be adaptive if we know how to manage it and make good use of it. However, if we do not modulate it properly, it can harm us in the short and long term.

In order to make it easier for you to to manage your anger in an appropriate wayWe will now explain some habits or ways of acting that benefit the regulation of this and make it easier for it to be truly adaptive. If you want to continue informing you of how to manage anger more adequately through habits, keep reading.

What is anger?

Anger is an emotion that appears in the person when he/she thinks that a negative consequence has occurred or is going to occur for his/her interests.The person feels that it could have been avoided if someone else had thought about it or acted differently.

Contrary to what is often thought, it is not simply an antisocial psychological phenomenon. It does present a function of adaptation to the environment, since it allows to organize and regulate internal processes both of the mind and of the body in general; in it an increase in physiological activation, such as motor or cardiovascularIn this case, there is an increase in physiological activation, such as motor or cardiovascular, in relation to a feeling of anger that occurs when the desired objectives are not achieved or needs are not met. In the same way, it is also adaptive because it allows to regulate and build relationships based on the balance of power with other people, expressing discontent, anger or disagreement.

Thus, it is considered an emotion that subjectively is negative, since it shows anger and fury linked to experiences or desired and that generate discomfort, but at the same time it is conceived as a basic survival reaction, because it instigates us to take the initiative to avoid future damage.

In reference to anger, three components can be differentiated in it, depending on the system that is activated or related to it. Anger, as we have already mentioned, refers to the emotional state; aggression would be the component linked to behavioral action; and finally, hostility is related to the cognitive factor, with the attitude we have towards anger.

Thus, given that sometimes there are alterations if this emotional component, anger, is not well controlled, there may appear affectations in the individuals, ceasing to present advantages and can only generate problems and discomfort in the person who shows it. Therefore, it will be necessary to work on habits and ways of acting that allow regulating the states of anger.

Psychological keys that help to regulate and manage anger in oneself.

It is essential to know the causes, which can be diverse, or the different phases that anger goes through in order to identify it as soon as possible and act to regulate it and avoid possible affectations. In this way it will be very important to learn to make a good self-control..

Here are some habits or ways of acting that allow you to control anger so that it does not reach harmful levels.

1. Be aware of the first physical symptoms

We have already mentioned that one of the main reactions to anger is physiological activation, such as Cardiovascular activity or increased sweating. It is therefore important to identify these early physical symptoms and to be able to take early to be able to act prematurely by deciding to move away from the source of conflict and to relax again..

2. It gives name to the emotions that we are feeling

Once identified the first reactions it is recommended to give name to what we are feeling, with the purpose of looking for the sense and to rationalize the reaction, it allows us to take perspective and not to act in an inadequate and impulsive way..

Similarly, it can be beneficial to practice this skill continuously, as a habit, as this way we facilitate the process when you are in a state of anger.

3. Stop for a moment and think before you act.

Thinking before acting is fundamental and can save us from impulsive and negative actions that complicate the situation and do not really resemble what we are. This more reflective way of behaving is useful in most situations in our lives.Therefore, it is good to establish it as a habit of action.

4. Do not keep your anger inside, express it

As we have seen, anger allows us to act in an adaptive and functional way, since it allows us to defend our objectives and needs.

But for this to be really functional, we need to be aware of what we feel, calm down, order our ideas and main objectives in order to communicate our anger and our disagreements in such a situation in an assertive way. communicate our anger and our disagreements in such a situation in an assertive way, that is to say, defending our rights and interests without doing it in an aggressive or hostile way.that is to say, defending our rights and interests without doing it in an aggressive or hostile way.

It is important not to accumulate anger, thus it is recommended to express it, but as we have already said, in an appropriate and not impulsive way.

5. Try not to show a win/lose mentality.

Similarly, it is recommended to be empathetic and understanding with others, without showing the winner/loser dichotomy, where it is believed that in interpersonal relationships one wins, implying that the other must lose..

6. Change the way of referring to or expressing what we feel.

Given the degree of activation that occurs during the feeling of anger, being able to identify it and soften it or help to express it in an appropriate way benefits us.

In the same way that we have pointed out the need to be assertive, it is crucial to express our anger in a calm and calm manner and without raising our voice and without using any kind of insult or bad word. without raising our voice and without using any kind of insult or swear word..

7. Try to be an empathetic person

When discussing the definition of anger we saw that one of the reasons for its appearance is the belief that another person has not taken into account or has not acted appropriately to benefit the achievement of one's own objectives.

In this way, before blaming the other individual, it is necessary to try to put ourselves in his place in order to understand why he acted in this way or why he thinks in this way. or why he/she thinks in a certain way.

This will also help us to act in an optimal way, since we will know better the cause of their behavior.

8. Train attentive and active listening

In the same way to understand the reason of the behavior of the other person it is fundamental to listen to him and to pay attention to know what he thinks or why he presents the behavior that has provoked our anger and the state of anger.

It is essential to train good communication skills to know how to express adequately what we feel and think and how to receive well what the other individual tells us.

9. Allow yourself moments of the day to reflect and be with yourself.

In the same way that it is recommended to think before acting when we are in a state of anger, it is also beneficial to have our moments of reflection, to think and to be with ourselves, to be more aware of how we are feeling, what we feel, what worries us... in short, if there is something that makes us angry.

In this way it will be easier to know ourselves and thus have our moments of relaxation and tranquility.

10. Take your time to relax and breathe.

These practices can be done both during the state of anger and at other times of the day to help us to be calmer. Relaxation and proper breathing, with short inhalations and long exhalations, helps to decrease our overall state of anger. helps us to decrease our general state of activationwhich as we have seen is a characteristic sign of anger and is also beneficial to have our moments of disconnection.

Some typical practices to exercise breathing and relaxation are yoga or meditation.

12. Practice sports

Exercising is a good combatant or reducer of stress and anger. It is beneficial to find the practices that we like the most in order to generate a routine.It has been shown that sports help us to mentally disconnect and reduce muscle tension, stress and anger, allowing us to perceive the situation with perspective to better understand it and act in a more adaptive way.

13. Train the search for solutions

It is important not to remain anchored in the problem or in the situation that causes us anger, thus, it will be essential to practice the generation of solutions that help us to act in the best way when we feel angry. Anger does not have to be the final result, but it should be an indicator that something is not right, so that we can act and improve our state of mind. so that we can act and improve our state.

14. Rest well

In order to cope better with different situations or not to be so frustrated or irritable, it is very important to get adequate sleep and rest. it is very important to sleep and rest adequatelysleep the necessary hours (minimum 7 in general, or 7 and a half to 8 in adolescents, young adults and middle-aged people).

15. Do not be always with toxic people

In order to prevent anger and feelings of anger it is essential to flee from negative situations or people that we know that do not bring us anything good and only create discomfort, thus affecting our day to day.

16. If the situation overwhelms you, ask for professional help.

As in many other situations, if you see that the techniques proposed are insufficient or the feelings of anger are uncontrollable and continuously affect your functionality, whenever you perceive that the situation is getting out of hand, it is essential that you ask for help from a professional..

With the accompaniment offered by psychologists you can learn to emotionally manage your situation, and we will help you to better understand the reason for your condition and how to use effective techniques and strategies to cope with it.

Do you want to have psychotherapy services?

If you are interested in professional psychotherapeutic assistance, please contact us.

In Cribecca Psychology we attend individual patients, couples and families both in person at our center located in Seville and through online therapy by video call.