The 3 levels of aggression in a couple (and their dangers)

These are the levels of aggression that can occur in the couple; different forms of violence.

There are a series of aggressive behaviors that unfortunately occur quite frequently between the members of many different ages, so they have come to be classified within what is known as the "levels of aggression in couples" that allow us to check the quality and health of a couple.

The levels of aggression in the couple by offering us the possibility of measuring the quality of a couple allows us to see if a relationship is toxic and thus realize that when certain limits are exceeded, perhaps the most sensible thing to do is to end a relationship because of the risk that these behaviors may pass to other more serious ones.

In this article we will briefly explain what the different levels of aggression in a couple consist of. and what are some of the behaviors that tend to occur frequently in each of them.

The levels of aggression in the couple (explained).

In any couple there are certain conflicts, having discussions that could cause certain escalations and even that they get to say certain hurtful comments that later will cause regret on the part of the person who said them. Although we are not proud of it, it is normal that sometimes we get to have some discussions of this type, being the common thing that the situation does not get out of hand or that has come to disrespect either of the two parties of the couple.

However, there are certain people who go beyond the limits of respect towards their partner and They may act aggressively at various levels, both physically and psychologically, which erodes their relationship and will cause tremendous discomfort in the other person.This erodes their relationship and will cause tremendous discomfort in the other person.

When these limits are exceeded, it is common for aggressions to escalate, giving rise to various behaviors classified in the different levels of aggression in the existing couple and, therefore, the most advisable thing would be to stop these cycles of aggression before they go up a level.

Broadly speaking, we will explain below the three main levels of aggression in the couple, within which are grouped a set of behaviors that turn a couple relationship into a type of toxic relationship. These levels are classified in ascending order in terms of the degree of violence in the couple, with one of the partners normally being the aggressor and the other the abused, although it could be the case in which there are two or more members of the couple. the case in which there is reciprocal mistreatment of the other partner..

Level 1: symbolic aggression

The first of the levels of aggression in the couple is the one in which a class of aggressions called "symbolic aggressions" takes place. In this first level of aggression in the couple, there is above all psychological abuse, without any physical aggression having occurred..

When symbolic aggression exists in a couple, it is due to the existence of behaviors such as those explained below or similar. When there are certain levels of aggression in the couple, symbolic aggression, it may be the case that one of the parties of the couple is ridiculed in public on several occasions by their partner, so that in addition, the ridiculed party is normal to feel humiliated.

On the other hand, in symbolic aggression it is frequent that there are jokes in bad taste that can hurt the feelings of the other party, as well as it is also possible that the aggressor frequently resorts to the use of offensive phrases towards the other party of the couple. Sometimes the aggressor may even go so far as to threaten the partner.

When behaviors like those just mentioned or similar begin to occur between the members of a couple we could say that the relationship begins to be toxic. it is of great importance that the mistreated and abused party puts a stop before the aggressions go further..

In the most extreme cases of violence at this level (e.g., threats) it is likely that the affected party will need to seek legal help for various reasons. The first is that this type of behavior must be intolerable and, secondly, because of the risk that these threats are carried out by the aggressor partner.

Level 2: coercive aggression

The second of the levels of aggression in the couple is that of "coercive aggression", where the levels of violence have increased with respect to what they were when there was a level of symbolic aggression.

When there is coercive violence, the levels of aggression in the couple are considerably more serious than in the previous level, psychological mistreatment is frequent and may even occur at a physical level as well..

At this level it is common for the abused partner to be prohibited from doing certain things, such as going out with friends to party, chatting with certain people, among others, so that his or her freedom is severely limited. Therefore, in these cases the aggressor would be exercising control over the abused party, so that he/she could spy on his/her partner because of an imperious need to know what he/she is doing at all times.

In the most extreme cases there could be intimidations on the part of the aggressor towards his partner in order to cause fear and to make her more submissive with his impositions or even to make her more submissive. with his or her impositions or may even go as far as resorting to physical aggressions.

Here we would see a completely toxic relationship in which the abused party should put an end immediately because their physical and psychological integrity is in danger. In this type of relationship it is difficult to leave because it is likely that the aggressor will not accept that the partner wants to leave the relationship and will act even more violently. It is frequent that when this type of relationship is ended, the aggressor harasses the other person, or It may also be the case that he/she asks for forgiveness in order to be given another chance..

In these cases it is likely that the affected part of the couple should file a complaint in order to seek protection because, with such levels of aggression in couple, it is possible that they run the risk of suffering future aggressions due to the refusal of the aggressor to end the relationship.

Level 3: direct aggression

The third level of aggression in the couple is known as "direct aggression", where constant and extreme mistreatment has been reached.

When these levels of aggression are present in the couple, aggressions at a physical level usually occur continuously, and can be daily, as well as threats of all kinds (e.g., threats of blackmail). (for example, threats of blackmail). In these cases it is common for the abused person to feel intimidated because of the fear of suffering more aggression from his/her partner.

In these cases, the rest of the behaviors characteristic of the other two levels of aggression in the couple that we saw previously could also occur, so we can see that we would be dealing with the most serious level of abuse and humiliation that can occur in the couple. Also very cruel aggressive behaviors could also occur, as would be the case of vicarious violence, which is the most serious level of abuse and humiliation that can occur in a couple.Vicarious violence, which occurs when the intention is to harm the partner through violent behavior towards a loved one (e.g., their child).

There are many examples in the news of vicarious violence in which a parent has kidnapped the children in order to cause suffering to his or her ex-partner, in some cases even leading to the murder of their children, which demonstrates the most cruel and merciless expression of all levels of aggression in the couple.

In these cases it is essential that the abused party ends the relationship before it is too late and that the before it is too late and seek help. Most often in these cases, the affected party needs legal assistance (for example, from a lawyer and/or an association that collaborates in cases of partner violence), filing a complaint at the police station, and also the help of a mental health professional, either a psychologist or a psychiatrist.