The 3 types of emotional dependence: what are they?

In what areas of life can emotional dependency occur?

Emotional dependency usually manifests itself in one's relationships with others and is usually related to one's partner, family or certain friendships. In this sense, we can speak of types or kinds of emotional dependence.

It is a complex psychological state, in which the person who suffers from it feels unable to break the ties that bind him/her to that unstable, destructive, unbalanced relationship and where the other person is idealized, affecting very negatively his/her self-esteem, physical and mental health.

Emotional dependence: just like an addiction

As with addictions, emotional dependence also produces withdrawal syndrome and this is mainly motivated by the fear of loneliness or panic that the relationship will break. In addition, emotional dependence also influences the development of obsessive thoughts and states of anxiety or depression, which occasionally disappear if the relationship or contact is resumed.

In general, there are certain characteristics that can be associated with people who are emotionally dependent on others such as: lack of self-esteem, negative moods, fear of being alone, philophobia, putting the relationship before anything else, need for constant attention from the other person, ease of isolating themselves from everything around them in favor of the relationship, the need to always please the other person, self-annihilation, feeling inferior to the other and even a lack of communication skills, since their conversations always revolve around the person on whom they are emotionally dependent..

The cause could be fear of rejection

In addition, emotional dependence also has a social stigma because there are many labels that are imposed in this area and that can affect the behavior of people, who far from feeling free have the need to please others with their actions.

Otherwise, and often wrongly, we accept labels -such as selfishness- that are determined by the thoughts, feelings or expressions of another person and that, in reality, we should not always take into account.

Types of emotional dependency and their areas

The fear of rejection, of not being loved, valued and even admired by other people, also reinforces this "social need" to be emotionally dependent and this feeling, in most cases, is extrapolated to other important aspects of life such as partners, family or friendships.

In which areas does emotional dependence manifest itself most frequently? We could talk about 3 main areas in which emotional dependence can manifest itself in a person and they are: the partner, the family and the social environment; they are known as types of emotional dependence.

1. In the couple

Emotional dependence on the partner, is the most common form in our society and is also the most widely recognized.. As we mentioned at the beginning of the article, the symptoms are quite similar to those that an addicted person may suffer, and in many cases withdrawal syndrome occurs.

People who are emotionally dependent on their partner have a totally wrong concept of what a couple relationship should mean since they forget their own identity, feel jealousy frequently, have an extreme desire to be with that person all the time, cannot and do not want to do other activities that do not involve their partner and make him/her the obsessive center of their well-being, besides obsessively trying to control every act or thought of the other.

2. In the family

On the other hand, we will speak of emotional dependence to the family when a person demonstrates an excessive and obsessive attachment to certain members of his or her family nucleus.

For example: the need to talk every day with that person, to know about him/her and to control his/her daily life, to need his/her criteria to feel emotionally secure, to be unable to make decisions without that person's approval, to give up other projects due to the fact of having to separate and the lack of time for oneself, are aspects that characterize a person who has emotional dependence towards one or several members of his/her family nucleus.

• Recommended article: "Toxic families: 4 ways in which they cause mental disorders".

3. In the social environment

The emotional dependence to the social environment is manifested in people who have the need to be recognized by others in order to feel at their level.The most important of all is to be accepted in their work environment, to submit to the approval of their closest circle of friends and to dedicate time to worrying excessively about the needs or problems of others, forgetting about themselves.

It is also important in this regard to mention emotional codependent relationships. This type of emotional dependence involves a link between two or more people, it implies a dependence that occurs simultaneously between them and there are different areas in which it can develop, such as those mentioned above -partner, family or society- and others such as work or education.