The 4 emotional plagues in women

A tour of the emotional plagues that greatly affect women, damaging their well-being.

Have you ever thought if there are differences between men and women in emotional expression?

It must be taken into account that one thing is the experience and another is the expression. The experience of the "basic" emotions, joy, anger, surprise, sadness, fear and disgust, is universal. There is a solid consensus on this. Moreover, all human emotions are necessaryeven the most "unpleasant" ones: they serve functions.

On the other hand, there is emotional expression: how they are shown to the world. Here education and culture come into play. Thus, through so-called "gender socialization", boys and girls are still more easily allowed to express some emotions, censoring others.

The most obvious example is sadness: boys do not cry. But... Of course they cry, because they feel sadness! On the other hand, girls are censored to a greater degree emotions such as anger.

Emotional plagues that affect women.

We are going to see the 4 emotional plagues in women, those that more we are allowed to express but are not always allies of our well-being:

1. Guilt

Guilt is a moral emotion. Without guilt it would be difficult to have a guilty conscience and therefore to ask for forgiveness to solve a damage..

The problem comes when we have not really made any mistake, as when we feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or when we scourge ourselves harshly. Or when we feel guilty for succeeding, we feel we have to apologize for it.

A story about women's guilt

Once upon a time, guilt.

Guilt loved its job; it spent the day doling out justice and acknowledging the mistakes made so that they would not be repeated and thus repair the damage.

But one day the guilt began to become harsher and harsher in its moral judgments, rigidly distinguishing what was "right" from what was "wrong" and arbitrarily punishing the wrongdoers. and punishing in an arbitrary and disproportionate way.

He took into account past faults, faults not yet committed, and even imaginary or other people's faults. It didn't matter what the women did, that was where the fault lay.

"If our relationship doesn't work, I'm to blame. "If I am successful, I ask for forgiveness, I feel guilty." "If I rest, I will feel guilty for being lazy".

2. Fear

Like other animals, fear helps us to survive. It activates our fight-flight-paralysis system to help us avoid danger or overcome it..

When does it become a problem? When we are not facing a real threat to our life or integrity. A typical example is the paralyzing fear of public speaking.

When it leads us to miss out on interesting opportunities, opportunities that are already more difficult for women to find. When it paralyzes us, etc.

A story about women's fear

Once upon a time, there was fear.

Fear felt great to know that it was necessary for survival: when there was real danger, it helped women to react. It felt useful, since the real dangers were not few.

But one day, fear began to take a liking to the women's sense of constant alertness. It began to make them tremble at the knees in situations that were far from being a real threat. The fear was becoming great at the same time that it prevented them from expressing, going out, and doing great things.

"I am afraid to speak my mind." "I'm afraid of being wrong." "I'm afraid of being alone and being rejected."

3. Sadness

The sadness serves us to close wounds, for example after losing a loved one.

Also to bring us closer to each other, to relieve us. It is probable that if we express sorrow, people approach us to give us comfort, to offer us support...

But sadness becomes a problem when what we really want to express is another emotion, such as anger, for example.for example, anger.

Also when weeks go by, we are still sad and we don't really understand why. Or we do understand why but it is starting to affect other vital areas, such as the couple, the family, work, etc.

A story about women's sadness

Once upon a time, sadness.

I knew that sadness was necessary to favor the rapprochement between people, to gain intimacy and, in short, to unite people. Women were united in Pain and that was very comforting, because it relieved it.

But one day, sadness went too far. It got caught up with itself, began to generalize and gradually changed the lens of the women's glasses for much darker ones..... Sometimes life itself had very ugly things, like inequality, but the glasses clouded the view even more.

"I feel sad and I don't understand why." "Sometimes I think I'm angry, but I get out being sad."

4. Shame

Shame is a social emotion, which signals to others that we respect social norms even though we do not we respect social norms even though we may have skipped them..

Unlike guilt, it does not take into account an action we have committed but our person as a whole. It has to do with fear because there is a fear of being judged negatively and with anger, which we direct towards ourselves.

A story about women's shame

Once upon a time, there was shame.

Shame felt wonderful that she was one of those responsible for bringing about positive change in women. It knew it was a driver of change, of improvement.

But one day shame started doing strange things, like paralyzing women. It amused him to dye their cheeks ruby red, and make their hearts run wild.

Shame had merged with fearfear of being judged negatively, fear of exposing needs and weaknesses. Moreover, she had encountered the greatest evil of women: low self-esteem, always asking for permission, always begging for forgiveness.

"I don't like to be complimented, I'm embarrassed." "I'll be so embarrassed when he sees me naked." "I feel inadequate, weird."