The 5 problems of love breakups, and how to deal with them.

It is possible to overcome a breakup and be happy again. But... how to do it?

Love breakups are often a drama. It is seen how the love story that had been lived comes to an end, and that not only makes us change our perspective about how our future will be, but also makes us rethink what we have done. rethink what has been the true nature of the relationship that we have shared with the other person. relationship we have shared with the other person.

Of course, the emotional impact of breaking up with a partner can be overwhelming; it is a kind of wall of new feelings that hits us almost suddenly, if we are the ones who decide to break up, or in an instant, if it is the other person who breaks up with us. However, that does not mean that one cannot recognize various challenges and problems (both psychological and material) to be faced in a breakup.

Recovering from a breakup by facing its problems

Taking this hit to our emotions and recognizing in it different problems relatively separate from each other can be helpful in recovering from a breakup.

Let's see what are some of these challenges involved in break-upsand how to deal with them in order to move on with our lives.

1. The breakup affects the self-image

Seeing oneself so affected by a breakup can damage one's self-image. After all, for a period of time that can last days or weeks, we notice how we become a more emotionally vulnerable person.We become more emotionally vulnerable, more prone to crying and, at times, more isolated and lonely.

If we are used to living with a self-esteem that gives us a very idealized vision of ourselves (and related to the values and characteristics most valued by our culture, which tends to hold in high esteem the toughness of character and autonomy), this experience can also hurt us in this sense. this experience can also hurt us in this sense..

The way to overcome this is to learn to accept this aspect of our personality as something that is our own and human, something that also defines us. Reconciling with our more emotional side is essential.

2. Friendship with the other person can be lost.

Breakups also cost us because they force us to face a painful dilemma: How do we relate to the other person from now on?

The indecision between not knowing whether to definitively cut off contact or to maintain an amicable treatment is aggravated by the fact of not knowing whether we will be able to carry out either of these two options. And, of course, to that we have to add that we have to respect the decisions reached by the ex-partner in this regard.

It is recommended that, by default, after a brief period in which no contact is maintained, a certain amount of weekly contact with the other person should be resumed (if both parties agree). (if you both agree) and decide how the relationship will continue depending on what each person is experiencing. In this way we will not be subject to social conventions and we will make the relationship with this person adapt to what each one honestly feels.

3. Appears a lot of time to fill with something

One of the things that make breakups painful is that they break the routine to which we were accustomed. the routine to which we were accustomed is broken.. If the breakup is total and we do not maintain contact with the ex-partner, the feeling of loneliness can come to dominate much of our daily life unless we do something about it.

One of the keys to mitigate this problem and to walk little by little towards the normalization of our own singleness is to force ourselves to socialize with other people, even if it is uncomfortable for us. To do this, it is good to rely on friendships, but you do not necessarily have to depend on them: the point is to get out of your comfort zone and lose the fear of engaging in new conversations with new people. If we don't force ourselves, it is quite possible that we will remain for a long time in a state of inactivity in which melancholy, boredom and, perhaps, obsessive behaviors are mixed.

Finding new hobbies is also very positivebut we must try not to let them isolate us more and more.

4. Mutual friends may also be lost

If the couple's relationship has lasted long enough and has been connected to a more or less rich social life, it is likely that both partners have become close to mutual friends, of the couple and of each other. Breaking off the relationship may jeopardize these ties if one chooses total or partial lack of communication with the other person.. However, it is worth appreciating that many of these friendships have value in their own right, and not just within the community formed around the relationship from which we have exited.

As always, here communication and honesty are indispensable.. But we also have to self-examine and ask ourselves if what we really want is to keep a friendship or to have a channel of communication with the ex-partner.

5. Improvement can be perceived as a bad thing

In most cases, the sadness related to the breakup tends to fade over time. This seems like a good thing, and in many cases it is, but it can also be double-edged, as it makes us wonder about what the relationship really meant. It makes us wonder what the relationship we have been through really meant to us..

If we perceive that we have recovered "excessively quickly" from the breakup, this can make us feel bad, not seeing a way to see how meaningful this relationship was, and believing that time has been wasted or that we have lived a lie. This is a very subtle type of grief, related to existential crises.

There is no simple way to face this challenge that we face when we look back and reformulate what we lived during the time we lived with the other person: everyone has to find a way to reconcile with his past. And this is both bad and good.