The 8 characteristics of falling in love (and how they affect us)

These are the characteristics of falling in love and how they affect our mind.

When we fall in love our body experiences many sensations. Many are those who lose their hunger due to this emotion because the stomach, invaded by metaphorical butterflies, is not for much trotting.

We say that we have fallen in love when we cannot stop thinking about someone, thinking about his or her many good things and ignoring or downplaying his or her defects. We want him or her to love us, we cannot live without him or her.

Describing an emotion in a few lines is complicated, and even more so if we take into account that there are many misconceptions about what it means to fall in love. In the following we will delve a little deeper into what are the characteristics of falling in loveexplaining how this psychological phenomenon linked to love affects us and what biochemical processes occur in our brain when it appears.

What is falling in love?

It is frequent that some emotional and psychological states are usually confused, being the case of love and infatuation. These two emotions are undoubtedly very similar, but they are not the same.

First of all, we can say that love appears when you know a person deeply, when you love another person and you accept his or her good and bad things. On the other hand, we can consider falling in love as the initial state, the one in which attraction appears, the desire to know the other person in greater depth, the desire to get to know him or her better..

On the other hand, love is a feeling that a person feels towards another person that he/she knows in an intimate and personal way. To love someone in the loving sense, it is necessary to have spent a lot of time with that person, to have shared experiences together and to know all the good and all the bad of the other, accepting them in the maximum fullness.

Main characteristics of falling in love

Falling in love is the moment prior to the establishment of a love relationship. The two people do not yet know each other completely. Only one part is valued, the good and beautiful partThe most attractive part, both physically and psychologically. As time goes by, these intense emotions will fade away, leaving room for equally pleasant but more moderate emotions associated with the love relationship.

With the above in mind, let's look at a brief summary of the characteristics of falling in love.

1. Desire for physical contact

There is a strong desire for physical contact and intimacy with the person with whom one has fallen in love, either in the form of hugging, kissing, caressing and/or sexual intercourse.This can be in the form of an embrace, kissing, caressing and/or sexual intercourse.

2. Desire for reciprocity

With desire for reciprocity we refer to the desire that the other individual is also in love with us..

Fear of rejection

When you fall in love with someone, you cannot conceive the idea that the other person does not feel the same way. You fear being rejected by the other person.

4. Lack of concentration

When one falls in love it is normal to lose concentration, having frequent carelessness and absent-mindedness in their daily chores..

5. Frequent thoughts about the other person

It is inevitable that you are constantly thinking about the other person you are in love with. "

6. Nerves and anxiety

When you are close to the person you are in love with you feel signs of anxiety and nervousness, such as a racing heart, stuttering and inability to speak clearly because you are so nervous. because of how nervous you are.

7. Interest in the likes and dislikes of the other person

The attraction to that special person makes us interested in what his or her tastes are, trying to imitate them so that he or she also feels interested in us.

8. Idelaization of the other person

During the first moments of being in love with someone, we are only able to see the positive aspects of the other person, that is, we idealize the person we are attracted to. We tend to ignore the negative aspects of the other person.

How long does this emotional state last?

Falling in love is a phase of great lust, passion and unrestrained feelings.. It is only possible when you are immersed in a situation of uncertainty and certain obsession towards another person, without stopping thinking about him or her. It is this state of uncertainty that makes possible the appearance and maintenance of passion.

The union of love between two people is a dynamic process, constantly changing and taking different forms over time. The type and durability of the relationship will depend on various aspects, such as personality traits, the circumstances of the moment and the evolution of the relationship.

There are many couples who believe that if they are not in love, it means that they do not love each other.. As we have mentioned, falling in love is the emotion of the first stages of the relationship and it is a matter of time before it begins to wane, passing from passion to affection, mutual respect and the experience of very good moments and others that are not so good.

There are people who need those intense emotions typical of falling in love and, when their partner relationship no longer offers them, they have doubts about continuing with him or her. They are addicted to the serotonin rush that the brain releases during the first phases of dating..

Infatuation has an expiration date. There is some debate about when you stop being in love, but there is no doubt that there will be a time when you will stop feeling the intense emotions that you did at the beginning, and that is totally normal. Some say that this phase should last between 2 or 3 years, at most 4, while others are more pessimistic but based on scientific evidence, which is that falling in love lasts between 6 and 8 months.

From falling in love it is possible to reach a stable relationship.. Passion takes a secondary plane and gives its place of importance to the affective exchange and reciprocity, in addition to feeling concerned about whether the other person is well and wanting to take care of him/her when he/she is going through a bad patch. It is here that many couples have problems, feel disillusionment and doubt about whether they can afford to continue the relationship. These difficulties can be overcome by going to couples therapy, learning how to improve the relationship, although sometimes the only solution is to break up.

The biochemistry of love

A lot happens in our brain when we fall in love. The brain biochemistry is profoundly altered when we meet someone and he or she "tickles our fancy". Initially, our brain secretes serotonin, known as the happiness hormone. Gradually, it adapts to this feeling of euphoria, similar to the one drug addicts get from their drug doses, and serotonin levels decrease.

As a result, the initial infatuation gradually fades until it disappears.The brain gets used to the serotonin levels and is no longer so excited. It is then when the aforementioned couple's love appears, the one in which there is no longer so much passion or lust but a relationship of mutual concern and acceptance of the good and bad of both lovers is established.

Serotonin is not the only one involved in falling in love. During this phase, there are also intense sensations associated with high levels of dopamine, testosterone and norepinephrine in the brain. All this brain chemistry would be responsible for making us feel euphoric, hyperactive and not wanting to eat during the first moments of falling in love.