The 8 types of grief and their characteristics

The loss produced by bereavement depends on the type of problem associated with each case.

Bereavement is one of the hardest experiences that a human being can go through that a human being can go through during his or her life. Although many people associate it with death, this phenomenon can also occur when we are heartbroken or when we lose a job after many years in the same position; it occurs, in general, in situations in which something happens that we interpret as a loss.

Undoubtedly, overcoming grief is complicated, so the person must go through a series of stages to become well again. It is a very painful experience and each individual has a personal way of experiencing it. Likewise, there are several types of bereavement, there are several types of griefIt is therefore complicated to speak of a sequence of actions to be taken in order to assimilate this experience in the best possible way. In this article, we will look at the different types of grief and their characteristics.

The 5 phases of grief

Over the years, some theories have appeared about the phases through which a person who is in a period of mourning goes through. One of the best known is that of the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Rosspublished in 1969 in the book On death and dying.

Her idea is based on the idea that there are 5 stages of grief. However, these five stages do not always follow one another in the same order and sequentially, i.e., not all people in the mourning phase have to go through all 5 stages. Moreover, when they go through them they do not always have to appear in the same order.

According to the theory of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the stages of grief are:

1. Denial

The first of the stages is denial, which is characterized by the fact that the person does not accept reality (consciously or unconsciously). This occurs as a defense mechanism and is perfectly normal. In this way, the individual reduces the anxiety of the moment.

The real problem occurs when people get stuck at this stage because they cannot cope with the traumatic change, so they ignore it as a defensive response. The death of a loved one, of course, is not particularly easy to avoid and cannot be avoided indefinitely.

2. Anger or rage

Sadness can lead a person to suffer from anger and rage and to seek blame.. This anger can manifest itself in different ways, blaming oneself or blaming others, and can be projected against animals and objects.

3 - Bargaining

At this stage, grief leads to the search for a fictitious negotiation. In fact, many people facing death try to negotiate even with a divine force. try to negotiate even with a divine force.

Other people, those suffering minor trauma, may undertake other negotiations or compromises. For example "Can we still be friends?" or "I'm going to accomplish this for you." Negotiation rarely provides a sustainable solution, but it may reduce the Pain of the moment....

4 - Depression

The impact of the loss of someone close can bring a person to a very painful situation, which is accompanied by enormous sadness and an existential crisis, as they realize that this person disappears from their life. Although the symptoms are similar to depressive disorder, once acceptance of theonce the acceptance of the situation takes place, the symptomatology remits.

5 - Acceptance

This stage happens when this painful situation has been accepted and it depends on the resources of each one the it depends on the resources of each one to accept it before or later.. It is not a stage that represents joy, but rather emotional detachment and understanding of what may have happened. If the person spends a long time in the grieving process and does not accept the situation, it is necessary to seek psychological help to overcome it.

Types of losses

Since the grieving stage does not necessarily have to occur because of the loss of a loved one, before moving on to the types of grief we will move on to the different types of losses that can occur. different types of losses that can occur:

• Relational lossesRelational losses: These have to do with the loss of people. That is, separations, divorce, death of loved ones, etc.
• Capability lossesOccurs when an individual loses physical and/or mental capacities. For example, due to amputation of a limb.
• Material lossesOccurs when an individual loses objects, possessions and, in short, material losses.
• Evolutionary lossesThe changes of life's stages: old age, retirement, etc. Not everyone copes with this situation in the same way.

Not all losses generate griefHowever, depending on the resources or other psychological variables (such as self-esteem or lack of social skills) of each person, losses can cause discomfort and suffering for more or less time.

Types of grief

What are the different types of grief? Below you can find the different types of grief.

Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief is grief that occurs before the death has occurred.. It is common when an illness that cannot be cured is diagnosed. The grieving process is the usual one, in which the person experiences various anticipatory feelings and emotions that will prepare him/her emotionally and intellectually for the inevitable loss.

Anticipatory grief is a prolonged grieving process, not as acute as the rest, since when death arrives it is usually experienced, in part, as something that brings calm.

2. Unresolved grief

Unresolved grief, as the name implies, means that the grieving phase is still present. However, it is often referred to as unresolved grief when a certain amount of time has passed (between 18 and 24 months) and it has not yet been overcome.

3. Chronic grief

Chronic grief is also a type of unresolved grief that does not subside over time. does not subside with the passage of time and lasts for years.. It is also called pathological grief or complicated grief.

Pathological grief can occur when the person is unable to stop reliving in a detailed and vivid way the events related to the death, and everything that happens to him or her reminds him or her of that experience.

4. Absent grief

This type of grief refers to when the person denies that the facts have occurred. Therefore, it is the stage of denial that we have talked about previously, in which the individual continues to avoid reality despite the fact that a lot of time has passed. In other words, the person is stuck in this stage because he/she does not want to face the situation.

5. Delayed grief

It is similar to normal grief, with the difference that its onset occurs after some time has passed. It is usually part of absent grief, and is also called frozen grief.. It usually appears in people who control their emotions excessively and are apparently strong. For example, a person who has children and must appear whole.

Delayed grief usually occurs when the person who suffers it, at first, must take care of many things that require a lot of effort, must take care of many things that require their immediate attention, such as caring for a loved one.such as taking care of a family.

6. Inhibited grief

Inhibited grief occurs when there is a difficulty in the expression of feelingsso that the person avoids the pain of the loss. It is usually associated with somatic complaints. The limitations of the individual's personality prevent him/her from crying or expressing grief. Unlike absent grief, it is not a defense mechanism.

7. Disavowed grief

This type of grief occurs when the environment surrounding the person does not accept the person's grief.. For example, when after a long time the family reproaches the person for continuing to mourn. The person represses the feelings in front of the family, but internally has not overcome it.

Often, this type of grief occurs when the person who died or left for good carried a stigma and was excluded, at least for the close environment of the person who suffers (for example, his or her family). Expressing grief can become a symbolic act that subverts certain political and social ideas. For example, if the missing person was someone's homosexual partner and the family does not approve of such relationships.

8. Distorted grief

Distorted grief manifests itself as a strong disproportionate reaction to the situation.. It usually occurs when the person has already experienced a previous bereavement and is faced with a new bereavement situation.

For example, he may have experienced the death of a parent, and when an uncle dies, he also relives the death of his father, which leads to a much more intense, painful and disabling situation.

Bibliographical references:

• Vertex Team (2010). Grief and funeral care. Editorial Verticebook.

• Payás Puigarnau, Alba. The tasks of grief. Psychotherapy of grief from an integrative-relational model. Madrid: Paidós, 2010. ISBN 9788449324239.

• Worden, William J. The treatment of grief: psychological counseling and therapy. Barcelona: Paidós, 2004.ISBN 9788449316562.