The Aggression Curve: what is it and what does it show about our emotions?

The aggression curve expresses the stages we can go through when we get angry with someone.

How many times have we been angry and had the feeling that we were not going to get over it? But, of course, we end up calming down. We can't be angry all the time, because in addition to being exhausting, we can make the mistake of doing something we regret.

Everything that goes up eventually comes down, and anger is not free from this universal maxim. Human beings experience something that has been what has been called the aggression curve, a multi-stage process ofa process of several phases in which we experience the escalation and de-escalation of our emotions of anger, hostility and aggressiveness.

Knowing how this process occurs is useful not only to understand human behavior, but also to avoid further increasing anger the next time we find ourselves in a situation of high emotional stress. Let's see why.

What is the Aggression Curve?

We have all been angry on more than one occasion. And whoever says they haven't, has at least witnessed a fight between friends. When you get angry, you get angrier and angrier. The anger increases, but not infinitely. There comes a point at which hostility reaches its peak, and after that, it falls until it reaches calm.. This is known as the aggression curve.

No one remains constantly angry, although it is true that there are people who get angry every now and then and that may be the feeling they give. Anger and the associated emotions follow the logic of gravity, that is, everything that goes up must come down again. Or if you prefer another metaphor, that after the storm comes the calm. It is only a matter of time before the anger dies down and relaxation sets in.

It is said that aggressiveness is an emotional state motivated by hatred. Actually it is not quite so, but certainly this, together with displeasure and misunderstandings play an important role in the manifestation of this emotion. Being aggressive can serve to achieve something, to invest energies in achieving an ambitious goal and to defend oneself from anyone who wants to take it away from us. However, in a civilized and social world in a civilized and social world, aggressiveness is seldom fully effective, because it ends up hurting someone else, or even the other way around.It ends up hurting someone, be it another person or ourselves.

Let's see how the aggression curve occurs, analyzing its phases and what behaviors characterize them.

What is aggressiveness?

Human aggressiveness manifests itself in a set of behaviors that are characterized by the use of force with the intention of causing harm and damage to other people, animals or objects. In the case of aggression towards people, the harm can be both physical and psychological.. It is an emotional state which, as we have previously mentioned, is usually accompanied by feelings of hatred.

Aggressiveness can manifest itself physically or verbally, either separately or in combination.. Physical aggressiveness refers to an attack from one individual to another by means of weapons or bodily elements, thus performing motor behaviors and physical actions to cause bodily harm. In contrast, verbal aggressiveness is the utterance of words that are offensive to the recipient, in the form of insults or threatening and rejecting remarks.

The AHI continuum

In popular parlance the words "aggressiveness", "hostility" and "anger" are used interchangeably. They really do have their nuances, something that is seen in the proposal of Charles D. Spielberger, Susan S. Krasner and Eldra P. Solomon who used these three terms in their aggressiveness-hostility-anger continuum or AHI (AHA, from anger-hostility-aggression).

This model brings together emotions and affect (anger), cognitions and attitudes (hostility), and manifested behaviors (aggression). Anger and hostility are factors that may predispose to aggression.

Anger can be understood as a reaction of irritation, anger or fury provoked by the feeling that our rights have been violated.. This emotion can also arise when faced with the difficulty or impossibility of achieving a certain objective. It is considered a moral emotion, in that it can arise through betrayal of trust, lack of respect and consideration for others or an accumulation of experiences felt as unfair.

Hostility is the attitude of resentment towards someone. It usually results in implicit verbal or motor responses. It is a negative emotion, characterized by expressions of anger and irritability.

The Aggressivity Curve and its phases.

The curve of aggressiveness or hostility is a graphic representation of how the escalation and de-escalation of hostile behavior occurs.

As we have commented, it is a phenomenon in which there is first an increase in aggressiveness but, later, it ends up going down and causing the person who was feeling emotionally tense to enter into a state of relaxation.. There are six main phases of this curve, and knowing them will help us to know when and how to intervene to prevent an aggressive situation, such as a fight between friends, from escalating.

1. Rational phase

Most people tend to be in the rational phase most of the time.. It is that of being reasonable most of the day, of being not necessarily in a good mood but not in a bad mood, and being able to have a calm and civilized conversation. It is the right emotional state to discuss or debate without escalation.

We are often able to stop when we stop when we notice that if we continue like this we are going to get angry.. However, sometimes it happens that this is not the case, that the conversation continues and if things are said that neither party likes, there starts to be tension and the conversation moves on to the next phase.

2. Trigger or exit phase

The trigger or exit phase is the point at which Pandora's box is opened. Irritation sets in and the perfect factors begin to occur for aggression to be triggered.. If to this we add some other behavior on the part of the other person that can be interpreted as a provocation, it is when the shot itself is produced.

The result is that rationality is cornered along with the possibility of calming down immediately, and there begins to be a discharge of hostility that the only thing that is going to do is to increase.

3. Slowing down phase

We can't be irritated and angry forever.. The situation will have to stabilize and calm down sooner or later, but for this to happen as soon as possible it is important that the person who is already angry does not perceive new provocations. In case he/she receives new provocations, there will be a new escalation of aggression.

4. Coping phase

At this point, the behavior of the other person may determine whether or not a new shot is fired or whether the situation will eventually stabilize.. If we are "the other party", the best thing to do is to try to empathize with the person who has fallen prey to the anger, although without giving him/her the reason for everything.

In addition to the fact that he or she may not be right, if we give it to him or her, he or she may interpret it as if we are agreeing with him or her like fools, that we are making fun of him or her and, basically, he or she will get angrier.

5. Cooling-off phase

If the person feels validated, he or she may understand that he or she has lost his or her temper a bit over something that does not deserve it so much, and will gradually calm down.

6. Problem-solving phase

Once everything has passed, the angry person is able to regain control of his or her thinking and behavior, discuss more rationally and calmly.The angry person is able to discuss in a more rational and calm way and look for a solution to what has started the conflict.

When is the best time to intervene?

The best time to talk to the angry person is during the coping phase. This is the ideal time to say something. Intervening earlier may be interpreted as a new provocation which, as we have mentioned, would generate** a new escalation of aggression** and we would have to wait again for the mood to calm down a bit.

Therefore, we should avoid trying to calm or reason with the angry person before the coping phase. If we are the ones who have made him/her angry, whether we are right or wrong, the best thing to do is not to try to justify our behavior. And, for heaven's sake, do not interrupt him/her with your arguments in favor.

The best thing to do before the coping phase is the following:

• Make sure we are adequately protected against a possible physical attack from the other person.
• Watch for the possibility of self-injurious behavior and alert professionals.
• Wait until you see that the emotional tension is diminishing.
• Listen without judging or feeling attacked.
• Avoid showing disbelief or lack of attention.
• Remain calm.

In addition to this, there are three steps to follow to get the angry person to calm down a little.

1. Control the context

As far as possible, we should try to control the context and the stimuli received by the person who is out of his mind.. If we are the main source of stress we should move away, and if it is the situation or other people that are stressing the person we should try to move them away. We can invite him/her to sit down if he/she prefers, something that can help him/her calm down faster.

2. Try to calm down

It is better that only one person is angry than two. We should try to calm down, avoid shouting or responding to "provocations" from the other party with more provocations. of the other party with more provocations.

3. Let him or her vent

The angry person may not be right in the slightest, but it is not going to do him any good right now to argue with him. The ideal is to let him unburden himself, let him unburden himself by letting go of everything he needs to let go and express himself.. When she does so, we should avoid judging her or giving her advice, it is not the best moment and she will not listen to it.

Once she has calmed down, she will be able to see and understand the many disadvantages of having acted in this way, reflecting on how to act in a way that involves more benefits and fewer problems on a social level. When he is calm, it will be the perfect time to try to make him understand what the other party's feelings are and to start proposing consensual alternatives. and start proposing consensual and positive alternatives to solve the problem that originated all this hostile situation.

The usefulness of knowing the aggressiveness curve

In an idyllic and wonderful world, conflicts did not exist. But we live in the real world and the fact of living in society implies that certain conflicts are inevitable. We cannot avoid being involved in stressful situations, and sometimes it is almost impossible for us to avoid reacting aggressively, although not necessarily by engaging in physically violent behavior.

But we must also understand that Anger is a human emotion that has played a fundamental role throughout our evolutionary history.. In certain contexts, aggression and anger are natural and adaptive responses, motivating us to engage in attack behavior in the face of a life-threatening threat.

In social life, knowing how the aggression curve occurs can help us both to avoid getting more angry and to do something about it. avoid getting angrier and doing something that we will regret later, or, if we have an angry person in front of us, to avoid adding fuel to the fire.. Knowing the five phases we go through when we are angry will help us to avoid any new escalation.

It pays us to control our aggressiveness, not only to avoid making bad decisions and hurting other people, but also because being angry for a long time is tiring.