The chemistry of love: a very potent drug

The chemicals we secrete when we feel love can be more addictive than a drug.

Love is one of the most extraordinary sensations a human being can enjoy. But, Have you ever had your soul broken? Have you ever had your heart broken into little pieces?

The drug of love: why is love addictive?

The chemistry of love is capable of making you feel on a high, making you suffer a low, or making you feel like a monkey for someone. That love is like a drug is absolutely true, and it has some really curious side effects.

As a study by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine points out, when love is broken, just as when a person is addicted to a drug, the consequences of the addiction are so strong that they can lead to severe depressive and obsessive behaviors. As we have seen in a recent article, love can cause emotional dependence. In the following lines you will know why.

Chemical compounds and hormones that love generates.

Love releases dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, that's why when we fall in love we feel excited, full of energy and our perception of life is magnificent. But the neurochemicals of falling in love come in spurts and after a while, just as it happens when someone takes drugs for a long period of a long period of time, there comes tolerance or what is commonly known as habituation.

When the chemical cascade descends, there are many people who interpret it as a loss of love (MacDonald & MacDonald, 2010). What really happens is that the neuronal receptors have already become accustomed to this excess of chemical flow and the lover needs to increase the dose to continue feeling the same. That can turn a natural fluctuation into a crisis, and the nice phrase: "I don't feel the same anymore" can come. But leaving a relationship is not always that simple.

The brain needs a recovery process to return to normal levels of chemical flow and it takes time to regain stability.

Oxytocin: a hug is worth more than a thousand words

The chemical cascade can make us lose our minds, but why does this happen?

Expert neurologists such as Gareth Leng believe that oxytocin helps forge permanent bonds between lovers after the first surge of emotion.. The hormone acts by "changing the connections" of billions of neural circuits. This hormone is known as the neurotransmitter of trust or cuddling and is released in large amounts during orgasm and in smaller amounts when you hold hands or when animals lick their babies.

Oxytocin is an endogenous substance (secreted by the body) and acts as a drug (exogenous substance introduced into the body from outside), releasing transmitters such as dopamine, noradrenaline (norepirefrin) or serotonin. These neurotransmitters allow the brain to be flooded with phenylethylamine. This chemical compound belongs to the amphetamine family and lasts in the brain for about 4 years according to the theory of Donald F. Klein and Michael Lebowitz, which emerged in the 1980s. Chocolate is rich in this compound, which is why it is common during "lovesickness" to consume excessive amounts.

Reptiles release oxytocin during sexual intercourse, but mammals produce oxytocin all the time.. That is why reptiles stay away from other reptiles except when mating, while mammals form attachments with family members, litters or herds. The more oxytocin is released, the more attached you feel to the other person. But we have to keep in mind that the levels of neurotransmitter or hormone secretion also depend on our beliefs and our perception of things. The ideas, prejudices, values, experiences, expectations, or fantasies that we have, can make us release more or less chemicals. This process follows a fixed pattern: more contact, more oxytocin, more trust (more strengthening of neural connections). Expectations, or imagination, also act as a form of contact and follow that pattern.

But we do not realize that obviously, people in love do not always live up to the expectations they have of each other, realistic or not. That can lead to a state of frustration. In addition, contact with an ex-partner contact with an ex-partner can revive that pattern or connection between neurons.and that is why most psychologists who are experts in love recommend an all-or-nothing therapy. all or nothing to overcome a breakup. By ceasing to maintain contact with the loved one, the connections are weakened, and over time, relapses are less and less frequent.

Oxytocin also plays an important factor in jealousy. For the mammalian brain, any loss of trust is a potentially fatal emergency. When a sheep is separated from its flock, oxytocin levels drop and cortisol levels rise. Cortisol is the feeling we experience as fear, panic or anxiety. It works for sheep by motivating them to reconnect with their flock before they are eaten alive. In humans, cortisol converts frustrated expectations or lack of confidence into emergency situations.

Serotonin: the neurotransmitter of happiness

Getting respect feels good because it stimulates the release of serotonin (Cozolino, 2006). In the animal world, social dominance brings with it more mating opportunities and more offspring. Animals do not dominate for conscious long-term goals, they dominate because serotonin makes them feel good.

You will see this in many people, and in yourself, you must admit that romantic attention from a person of higher status triggers strong feelings and makes you feel good. The problem arises because your brain always wants more respect to get more serotonin. Your partner can give you that feeling at first and can either give you the respect you need or help you feel respected by others.. But your brain takes for granted the respect you already have, and as time goes on, it wants more and more to get a bigger dose of good feelings. That's why some people always make more demands on their loved ones, and others, constantly seek higher status partners or lovers. Self-esteem plays an important role in this aspect and in order not to fall into the error, it helps to better understand the origins of our neurochemical impulses.

Serotonin acts on emotions and mood. It is responsible for well-being, generates optimism, good mood and sociability and is known to play an important role in inhibiting anger and aggression. Low levels of serotonin are associated with depression and obsession (symptoms of heartbreak). Antidepressant drugs increase serotonin levels to correct the neurochemical deficit, which is why Prozac (the most famous antidepressant on the planet) is called the happiness drug.

Constant positive experiences and positive thoughts also increase serotonin levels. On the other hand, unpleasant thoughts, bad news, talking about sad and worrying things or getting angry, completely inhibit the activation of serotonin.

Dopamine: addicted to love

Dopamine is related to pleasure, and it is the neurotransmitter that plays an important role in gambling, drug use, and also in love.. When we fall in love, dopamine is released, making couples feel euphoric and energetic. "If someone is unique in your life and you focus on that person, it is because the dopamine system has been activated," says Helen Fisher (2004), a biological anthropologist.

Dopamine is important because it is involved in the reward system. Pleasure makes us feel good, have sex, eat food, and do things that allow us to survive. But in both drugs and love, when the external (drug) or internal (oxytocin) stimulus disappears, it can create serious problems for a person. Then the monkey and obsession appear.

Noradrenaline: the dose of adrenaline

Noradrenaline or norepirefrin is the neurotransmitter that induces euphoria in the brain, exciting the body and giving it a dose of natural adrenaline.. This causes the heart to beat faster, blood pressure to rise and causes us to breathe heavier to get more oxygen into the blood. It causes the symptom of sweaty palms and flushes of the early stages of falling in love.

The drug of love versus reason

Animals are surprisingly picky about who they get together with. Free love does not come naturally. In every species, sex, there is something preliminary about it. Animals only have sex when the female is actively fertile, except bonobos (who do it for food and to resolve conflicts). Female chimpanzees only have sex every five years. The rest of the time they are pregnant or lactating, and without ovulation, males are not interested. When opportunity knocks, it is an important event. Natural selection produced in humans a brain that evolved to maximize reproductionand the neurochemicals of happiness evolved to promote reproductive behaviors. That doesn't make much sense in a world with birth control and sustainability pressures. But in nature, the focus had to be on reproducing lots of babies. So natural selection has created a brain with happy chemicals to reward reproductive behavior.

Love promotes reproduction, which triggers a lot of happiness-producing chemicals. Sex is only one aspect of reproductive behavior. Love motivates you to travel the world to be alone with that special person. Of course, reason is above such biological banalities, but the neurochemicals of happiness make it feel so good to be in love that the brain looks for ways to get more. The neurochemicals do their work without words, and we look for words to explain the madness of our motivations. Sometimes it's simpler to fool or manipulate than to try to understand.

In a nutshell, we want to be happy and have as many of the neurochemicals of happiness as possible.. We expect that from love and other aspects of life. But no matter how many neurochemicals we get, in the long run, the brain becomes habituated to falling in love as when there is tolerance to a drug. Knowing why this happens can help you manage your behavior despite the confusing neurochemical signals.

There is good news. Don't blame yourself if you're not the same as you were on the first day with your partner. It is necessary to know how to distinguish love from infatuation.. Love has to do with beliefs and values, and infatuation is a series of chemical reactions produced in different brain regions that make us have an idyllic perception of a person. Even so, it is not a bad thing, you have simply had to live with the operating system that has kept human beings alive for millions of years.

Bibliographical references:

• Fisher, H. (2004). Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. New York: Henry Holt.
• Izard, C. E. (1991). The psychology of emotions. New York: Plenum Press.
• Pichón, R. E. (1982). Teoría del vínculo. Buenos Aires: Nueva Visión.