The essentials to keep in mind when looking for a partner

Selecting a potential partner is complex, but it is simpler if you start with the essentials.

Searching for and finding a partner is a process that is often considered one of the most important elements of life. Shaping a romantic life in the company of someone not only changes one life, but actually changes two.

That is why it is good to identify what kind of characteristics and aspects are those that are most important to look for in choosing to be with the right person. to choose to be with the right person.

What is most important when looking for a partner

It is clear that the world of relationships is so varied and complex that, in practice, we take into account many variables when deciding whether we like someone enough to get closer to that person. The physical appearance, the proximity or remoteness to where we live, their circles of friends, etc. However, it is necessary to remember that we are only able to identify many of these elements when we detect that the potential partner might fail in any of them. What about those characteristics that we take for granted?

In them lies the key to making the choice of partner a success or not. There are fundamental elements about the other that, although we do not realize it, we optimistically estimate in an irrational way, as if the partner had a kind of natural obligation to fit into our schemes.

Attraction is not the most important thing

Knowing how to identify these personal characteristics that we imagine and question them by contrasting them with what we see, will make those minimum will make those minimum requirements of what we need a person to have in order to be with them serve, effectively, as minimum requirements, and not as something that goes without saying.

Of course, these alone will not be enough to guarantee that the couple's bond will be strong and lasting, but at least we will not be leaving it to chance to decide whether we are compatible with the other person or not.

So what are the minimum requirements?

1. Communication styles

A couple's relationship is basically a dynamic of communication and shared affection. If the first fails, the second will soon fail as well. That is why all conflicts and frictions that may arise in a relationship must be well communicated, and for this it is essential to examine the communication style of the potential partner..

Honesty and transparency are not elements that are valued in romantic relationships simply because they avoid the appearance of infidelities over a prolonged period; they are also a guarantee that possible problems that may appear along the way can be detected and managed as a couple, without allowing them to fester or lead to misunderstandings.

2. Similarity

When building a long-term relationship, it is essential to assess how our personality fits with that of our partner. At the end of the day, the bond of love should always be there, and that includes situations that are not very romantic.

In addition, it is important to keep in mind that the myth that opposites attract is just that, a myth. is just that, a myth. In psychology there is a lot of evidence that indicates that the most prosperous and long-lasting couples are those in which both people have rather similar personalities. In this way, the habits and interests of each of them will not cause an emotional distance (and physical, in the case of hobbies not shared) will not end up wearing the relationship.

3. Vital and intellectual stimulation

When the idealization of the couple ends, what is left? It is very easy to fill in those blanks about what we know of the other person with all sorts of romantic fantasies, but once enough time has passed to see that our partner is not as cultured and intelligent as she seemed at first, nor does she know how to manage her emotions as well as we thought she would, there must still be something about her that keeps us captivated..

Usually that "something" has to do with the person's way of thinking, her interests and areas of knowledge that make her curious and, of course, with her sense of humor. These are elements that do not depend on something quantifiable and are therefore difficult to idealize: they are either present or they are not.

4. Your fears

The fears of a potential partner are what can end up pushing her away if they are not compatible with the type of relationship you want to have. That is why, when we meet someone special, it is important to know what they don't want, what they are trying to avoid, what they are trying to avoid..

Of course, these fears can change over time, but in any case, at first there is nothing to guarantee that, if they change, they will do so in the way we want to form a functional couple.

For example, something as simple as the presence of certain personal ambitions could be something that intimidates the couple in certain cases, as several investigations reveal.