The two faces of narcissism

Narcissism has a psychopathological side and another side that can even help us in our lives.

Narcissism denotes an individual psychological and cultural condition. The degree to which a person identifies with his or her feelings is the degree of narcissism he or she has.

In this article we will see what are the two faces of narcissism and how they are embodied in the way a person behaves.

What does narcissism consist of?

The pathological narcissism is the result of a failure in the development of the ego.. People with a very high degree of narcissism may have had traumatic experiences in childhood, or overwhelming experiences that could not be integrated into the ego.

Thus, pathological narcissism is characterized by the following aspects:

• Exaggerated preoccupation with psychological and physical self-image.
• Denial of feelings directed towards oneself if they do not meet one's expectations.
• Tendency to be very seductive and manipulative.
• Depression and low self-esteem may occur.
• They frequently envy others and believe they are envied.
• A search for power and control arises.
• They often do not distinguish between the image they think they have and the one they really have.
• They focus on their own interests.
• They seek recognition in order to feel superior.

The behaviors we have seen cause these people to isolate themselves over time and as a consequence and as a consequence they experience life as something empty and meaningless.

On the cultural level, the following phenomena can be detected:

• Loss of values.
• Material objects become more important.
• Wealth, notoriety and success are more important than dignity and self-respect.
• Lack of concern for the environment and for others.

All this results in an insensitivity to insensitivity to human needs.

The roots of narcissism

Heinz Kohut was a psychoanalyst who delved into pathological narcissism, and explains that it it presents itself at the moment of the mother-child interaction concerned.

It may occur because of the rejection and/or mistreatment of the mother or with the death of the mother, when the infant does not find a substitute person. In these cases, the child feels a deep emptiness or abandonment that usually provokes what he called "narcissistic rage", which at first is towards the mother but later can be turned towards oneself and finally towards others.

Narcissistic depression is very difficult to deal with because these people tend to isolate themselves and, for example, now in the pandemic these cases have increased. Continuing on the line about the social and health crisis we are going through, narcissism has been exacerbated, and those suffering from these complications feel great difficulty in complying with preventive and sanitary restrictions and measures. They are reluctant to use masks and gels, and to keep a healthy distance because they feel and think that they are not susceptible to the virus.

Otto Kernberg comments that narcissistic people have grandiose fantasies about their worth, feelings of inferiority and excessive dependence on admiration and admiration. excessive dependence on external admiration and applause.. There is great dissatisfaction with themselves and a tendency to be cruel to others.

Living with narcissistic people is difficult because they lack empathy; far from listening to others they talk about themselves all the time. Another trait to highlight is that these people are characterized by being very aggressive when they are contradicted or do not do what they want. An example: when they live as a couple, they do not appreciate or respect the other person, but rather denigrate and despise him or her.

The other face of narcissism

On the other hand we have the healthy narcissismwhich is a natural component in the human being.

Narcissism, if it is moderate, can provoke many positive issues in the person. This healthy narcissism is found in people who:

• Have adequate self-esteem.
• Manage to have realistic expectations.
• Have a higher tolerance to frustration.
• They may feel the need to strive for perfection and thus use that motivation to progress.

The important thing about having a healthy narcissism is that it helps people not to need the approval of others. to live and enjoy life, because the main approval these people need is their own. Healthy narcissism is respectful of the ideas and actions of others.

Taking the previous example, the healthy narcissist in times of pandemic, being able to see himself in a situation of real risk, accepted the confinement and sought to protect himself by going out with security measures and even implementing new measures, and in the best of cases reinvented himself in various aspects of his life.