Top 9 social skills for flirting
These are the social skills that play the most important role when flirting with someone.
Seduction is an area of human relationships for which some people seem to have an almost innate gift. However, for many others, seducing in the context of a casual conversation can be a very difficult task.
Flirting to find a partner is an experience in which many people feel very lost and helpless precisely because, unlike what happens in the business world, here there is no "logical" or rationalizable explanation as to why we are interested in seducing or pleasing someone: the excuse of conforming to a series of expectations and professional roles that are given to us from outside does not exist, and we are exposing our vulnerabilities, tastes and, ultimately, our personality.
Fortunately, everything can be learned, and psychology professionals specialized in human relations have been studying for years the best social skills that we can use to flirt. social skills we can use to flirt, and here we will see which are the most important ones.and here we will see which are the most important ones.
What are the most necessary social skills to flirt?
Here we explain in a summarized way the most necessary social skills to flirt increasing our chances of success. We are not talking about magic solutions so that we are able to make anyone fall surrendered at our feet, but to be able to perform smoothly and without letting fear and insecurities paralyze us, and even learning from the occasions in which we are rejected (something that is part of knowing how to seduce).
1. Sincerity
The path of sincerity is the best way to succeed in any area of our lives and especially in the world of seduction and interpersonal relationships.
Showing ourselves as we are in front of the other person, without artificial maneuvers or pretending to be someone we are not, is the best way to connect in a natural way with any person. is the best way to connect in a natural way with any human being, since falsehood generates a great rejection in both men and women.
This does not necessarily mean to say everything that goes through our heads, but to detach ourselves from any pretension of appearing to be what we are not. Nor does it mean that we cannot make use of irony and a sense of humor to "play" certain roles at a given moment, as long as it is part of the game of seduction and it is clear from the context that we are not like that and that we do not intend to communicate anything else..
Likewise, showing genuine interest in their opinions, hobbies or needs is also a good way to start a deep conversation that will allow us to learn a lot about the person we are interested in.
2. Creativity
Creativity is one of the best ways to create a positive image in another person we want to surprise and please in a first impression.
And a good way to flirt is to create improvised situations that are funA good part of the seduction process is to break the schemes so that this encounter generates memorable moments. The important thing for an experience to be genuinely creative is that it is fun for both parties and that it allows the other person to participate in it.
This means not sticking to the most classic clichés of the role of the "seducer" or to the typical pick-up lines recycled over and over again. By falling into old or hackneyed formulas we will prove to have very little inventiveness and we will not adapt to the conversation or the personality of the other person.
3. Sense of humor
A sense of humor is one of the most useful tools we can use not only to attract the attention of any person we may be interested in, but also to create a relaxed atmosphere in which we can get to know the other person. to create a relaxed atmosphere in which both of you can express yourselves more naturally..
There are many utilities that humor has in the world of seduction, from an element that we can use to break the ice in the first impressions to a creative way to surprise, entertain or show the other person that we can see things from several angles.
4. Understanding nonverbal language
Understanding your own and other people's non-verbal language is another of the clearest advantages that exist for flirting, since in the world of seduction, much of the communication is fought beyond words, much of the communication takes place beyond words, i.e. looks, body postures and bodyThat is to say, looks, body postures or subtle body signals.
That is why it is so important to be aware at all times of the signals we may be sending to the other person and those we receive from them, in order to maintain a more subtle communication adapted to the situation.
Non-verbal language helps us to know if a person feels comfortable with us and also if, on the contrary, he/she is not in the mood to flirt or is having a bad time.
5. Courtesy
Politeness is another of the skills that are most valued during social interaction between people, and more so when we are trying to engage in friendly conversation with someone unknown or semi-unknown.
In order to flirt with a person it is essential to maintain a framework of courtesy and politeness, and this consists in being aware of the social norms about good behavior with the person in front of us without with the person in front of us without doing anything that might be uncomfortable or intrusive.
It is therefore important to maintain a certain level of politeness without this preventing us from being creative and original at the same time, with the aim of surprising the other person in a positive way.
6. Work on self-esteem
Good self-esteem is one of the most important psychological traits of successful flirters and the good news is that it can be trained and increased over time. It should not be forgotten that to be sure of what we are doing is one of the ways to make the other person feel uncomfortable in a conversation..
There are many ways in which we can improve our levels of self-esteem, the most common is to go to a psychologist specializing in the subject to work those problems that we may have at the emotional level.
7. Emotional validation
The emotional validation is another of the most important social skills that we have to link in an adaptive way with our environment, and consists of knowing how to respect the feelings and emotions of the other person despite not necessarily sharing them..
This skill is closely related to empathy and the ability to put oneself in the other person's place and be aware of their desires, needs, aspirations or vital approaches.
8. Ability to master silences
The ability to have interesting and fluent conversations in a natural way is another skill we can apply to be successful in flirting with a man or woman we are attracted to.
Paradoxically, this means not being excessively afraid of silences (otherwise, we will limit ourselves (otherwise, we will limit ourselves to "shoot" many sentences in a row that do not really help the conversation to progress.
Fluency in conversations, knowing how to talk about interesting and appropriate topics without being uncomfortable and in a fluid manner is one of the most promising ways to achieve success with another person on a night out or in any festive context.
9. Working on one's fears
Another thing to keep in mind when learning how to flirt is to overcome personal fears that we may harbor. personal fears that we may harbor and that prevent us from achieving our goals of social interaction..
Some people may have certain levels of stress or anxiety when flirting with someone they like, as well as cases of social phobia or any type of psychological alteration that generates discomfort or suffering.
In these cases it is advisable to work the own fears to overcome them or to go to a specialist psychologist.
Do you want to enhance your social skills?
If you are interested in overcoming your insecurities and/or improving your social and communicative skills to enjoy your relationships more and have it easier to flirt or make friends, contact us.
At UPAD Psychology and Coaching we can offer you an in-person or online psychological assistance program adapted to what you are looking for.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)