Toxic parents: 15 traits that children hate

Parents who raise their children by skirting the laws of logic. Here are 15 examples.

The vast majority of parents genuinely try to give their all for their children and do everything in their power to meet their children's needs. and do everything in their power to meet their needs, but even the best-intentioned parents make mistakes and engage in behaviors that are not beneficial to the development and well-being of their offspring.

Toxic parenting behaviors

Unfortunately, some parents go beyond simple mistakes and engage in toxic behaviors that seriously harm their child's growth and emotional health, because the figure of a father can mark the future of his child and is, along with the mother, the most important educational agent for the child. Is there such a thing as a toxic parent? And, more importantly: what effects can their behaviors and poor educational styles have on their children's fragile psyches?

But also: what are the harmful behaviors of parents towards their children? What are the toxic behaviors of parents? Below you can find the 15 most common characteristics of toxic parents.

1. Too demanding

There are some parents who are too demanding with their own children and do not tolerate their failures.. These critical parents are overly perfectionistic and expect their children to do everything right, and think that the way to achieve this is to remind them of their mistakes over and over again.

This type of behavior can cause serious problems for their offspring in the future and, sometimes, psychological and emotional damage that can accompany them for the rest of their lives. One of the causes of this behavior may be the parent's low self-esteem, a tremendous feeling of inferiority and even a perfectionist personality.

• Recommended article: "Perfectionist personality: the disadvantages of perfectionism".

2. Manipulative

Although many parents have an exemplary behavior with their children, there are others who, consciously or unconsciously, have a manipulative attitude and who deeply damage their childrenThey are parents who, on occasions, cannot escape from them. They are parents who, in addition, often have this type of behavior with other individuals and, therefore, their own children suffer from their toxic behaviors as well.

Manipulative people are experts in detecting other people's weaknesses in order to stealthily bring them into their own territory. In addition, they tend not to stop until they achieve their goal, are insatiable and often have a great need for control.

• Do you want to go deeper into this topic? You can read our article: "Manipulative people have these 5 traits in common".

3. Authoritarian, not very tolerant and intransigent

Authoritarian parents are those who force their children to behave in a certain way without taking into account their needs and emotions. They are intolerant and inflexible and make their children feel bad, even aggressive when their children do not act as they wish. This includes taking things out of context and acting disproportionately on many occasions.

They are parents who show poor communication with their children and try to raise obedient, but also very dependent children. As they are not very affectionate, their children often end up being not very cheerful or spontaneous.

• Recommended article: "The 12 types of authority (in the family and in society)".

4. Physical and verbal abusers

As much as some of us find it hard to believe that there are parents who mistreat their children, they do exist.. Some of them use physical violence at specific moments and others more often. Some of them use verbal violence: bad language and insults. The abusive parents create serious problems in the self-esteem of their children and provoke a damage that can be difficult to erase of the memory.

5. Too critical

There are demanding parents as we have said, but, in addition, it is also possible to find parents too critical.. They are parents who rarely praise their children and are often unaware that they do not know that with their continuous reproaches they end up reinforcing the bad behavior they are trying to correct. Criticizing brings with it judgment, censure and condemnation, and this makes children become defensive and respond with hostility and distrust.

6. Not affectionate

Children need to feel their parents' affection, especially when they are lonely. The affection of the home can help to pass the bad times and creates affective bonds that later the child learns. Family models that are not based on affection and trust can cause problems in the children's interpersonal relationships in the future.

7. Poor communication

Communication is basic in interpersonal relationships, because it can avoid many conflicts. But in the case of the parent-child relationship is especially necessary because it can help the child feel loved and is necessary for their proper upbringing. Poorly communicative parents avoid having conversations with their children and do not take into account their needs. In fact, parents should take into account not only what they say, when they say it and how they say it, but they should be experts in active listening to their children.

• To learn more about active listening, click here.

8. Blames their children for their own failures or frustrations.

Some parents are not comfortable with their own lives, for example, because they feel they have failed at work. As a consequence, their self-esteem may be low and they may be quite irritable and not very patient. These parents may also make the mistake of projecting may make the mistake of projecting their failures onto the people around them, especially those close to them.especially those close to them, such as their own children.

9. Project their fantasies or dreams onto their children.

While some may blame their children for their failures, others may project their failed dreams or unfulfilled expectations onto their younger children.. In other words, they expect their children to live the life they have not been able to live. For example, forcing them to dance when the children do not enjoy this practice.

10. Overly protective

The vast majority of parents want their children to be well and care about them. But some parents turn this behavior into a totally toxic behavior.. For example, by not letting them go out with their friends on bike rides for fear that they will have an accident. This causes their children to become insecure and not develop their own autonomy, and, in addition, they do not let them enjoy their life.

11. They do not accept their friendships

Toxic parents don't accept their children's friendships because they have expectations of who they should mix with or not mix with. Whether it's because they don't have a career, because they have tattoos, or because they are not who they want them to be. Parents need to let their children live their lives.

12. They plan their professional career

The concern of the parents for their children to have the life that they want can make their children end up choosing their professional career according to the tastes of their parents.. For example, some children may Excel as artists and may be happy developing their passion, but, instead, end up studying medicine and dedicating themselves to something that does not make them fully happy. Everyone should live life according to their own dreams and expectations, not reproduce that of their parents.

13. They are selfish

We have all known very selfish people during our lives, but it is more complicated when this type of self-centered more complicated is the situation when this type of self-centered habits and attitudes are manifested in the parents.. Selfish parents think only of themselves and cause a lot of suffering in their children who may not feel loved.

• Selfish people, just like egocentric parents, share some characteristics You can get to know them in this article: "Selfish people share these 6 traits."

14. They are a bad role model

Parents are examples for children and are the most important models for their lives, because they are reflected in them and usually inherit certain habits, customs and even behaviors. When parents do not set an example and are a bad role model, their children run the risk of learning harmful behaviors.. That without taking into account the emotional damage they can do to them, for example, if they are alcoholics.

15. They do not teach them healthy habits

Children see themselves reflected in their parents, but it is especially important to know that parents educate their children to adopt healthy habits. It is especially important to know that parents educate their children in adopting healthy habits.. Parents who do not have a healthy lifestyle send the wrong message to their children, and that can have an effect on their future health.

Not only that, but when children are very young, they are at the mercy of their parents. If parents feed them poorly, their children can suffer the negative consequences of this behavior. For example, suffering from overweight due to poor eating habits of the family and a sedentary lifestyle.

How to avoid a parental style that is harmful to children?

There is still no definitive parental guide, as each family has its own circumstances, constraints and ways of acting. What should be taken into account is what educational style we want to promote, and to have a certain coherence when transmitting one style of upbringing or another.

If parents agree on most of the limits and attitudes they should promote towards their children, and accompany the child in an affectionate and close way, it is much more likely that conflicts will take longer to appear, and when they do, they will be of less intensity.