What are the psychological problems of avoidant attachment?

These are the main psychological complications that can arise from avoidant attachment.

The attachment we establish towards our fathers and mothers during childhood greatly influences how we live the first years of our lives and whether we are more or less happy at this stage of development. However, it does not only affect us in this way: it also leaves an imprint on the way we grow psychologically.

In fact, developing one attachment style or another can lead us to suffer various forms of discomfort in our lives as adults. In this article, we are going to focus on the psychological problems that can appear if our personality has been consolidated on the basis of an avoidant attachment..

What does avoidant attachment consist of?

In order to understand what avoidant attachment is, it is first necessary to start from attachment theory, developed primarily by the psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 1970s and 1980s.. This is one of the most important theories in the history of developmental psychology, and is based on the idea that the bond we establish with the main support figures in childhood (in practice, fathers and mothers) has a great influence in shaping the way we develop psychologically and in consolidating one or another type of personality.

According to attachment theory, it is not possible to grow up without developing a certain attachment style, for better or worse; in fact, even children who suffer negligent treatment by their caregivers experience one. It should not be forgotten that, in this case, attachment is a psychological process, attachment is a psychological process that, although it involves more than one person, has its seat in the mind of the child.. It does not have to be based on a balanced or reciprocated affective bond.

As in our childhood we learn about ourselves and about the world based on what the adults who take care of us offer us, knowing what to expect from them predisposes us to feel one way or another when we interact with the environment. It is not the same to know that we have the physical and emotional support of a parent as it is to see how they only provide us with the physical resources we need to survive in the short term.

According to attachment theory According to attachment theory, this first set of experiences and expectations associated with our relationship with these protective figures will shape the way we treat the rest of the relationships we establish for the rest of our lives. relationships we establish during the rest of our lives.

Thus, avoidant attachment is one of the different attachment styles that we can develop from childhood. This is characterized by the fact that the children who develop it treat the caregiver in a similar way as they treat other people, without expressing satisfaction with their presence or actively seeking it.

These are children who explore their environment little regardless of whether or not they are with the protective figure, and who avoid or ignore interaction with the father, mother or legal guardian. It usually occurs in parenting models in which little attention is paid to the child beyond ensuring his or her survival.

Main problems associated with avoidant attachment

As attachment styles have a great influence on how the personality develops, the way in which it is expressed through concrete actions may vary. However, it is possible to find general behavioral patterns associated with one or another attachment style, and that each person will externalize in a characteristic way depending on the environment in which he or she lives.

In the case of problems related to avoidant attachment and its consequences in adulthood, the following should be highlighted.

1. Difficulties in creating affective bonds based on commitment

Many adults who have developed an avoidant attachment style have problems in maintaining relationships with their partners, since they place too much importance on the importance of the relationship.They attach great importance to their own independence and do not like the idea of sacrificing part of it to fulfill a series of commitments.

2. Lack of support derived from the little social support.

Due to their lifestyle based on personal autonomy, many people who have grown up with avoidant attachment retain few friends as they enter adulthood, and may reach a point where they find themselves in an unwanted loneliness due to the fact that they have not properly cultivated their friendships. This causes them to adopt habits linked to social isolation, which are physically and mentally unhealthy..

3. Problems due to excessive shyness

In people in whom avoidant attachment has been consolidated in its anxious-avoidant version, it is easy for fear problems to arise, it is easy for problems to arise from fear of showing one's vulnerabilities to others.. These people usually feel uncomfortable when noticing how someone little known wants to interact with them.

4. Frustration at finding themselves in caregiving roles

Aspects such as serving as an example for younger siblings or having to take care of people in vulnerable situations make these people feel more frustrated than the average caregiver. these people feel more frustrated than average..

Do you want to have professional psychological support?

If you are interested in having the support of a team of psychologists fully trained to help you overcome emotional, behavioral or relationship problems, contact us.

At Avance Psychologists we have been offering our services in the field for more than 20 years, and we currently help patients of all ages through psychotherapy, speech therapy, neuropsychology, psychiatry and sexology. Sessions can be held in person at our center located in Madrid, or online by video call.