What is a narcissistic pervert?

Let's see what are the characteristic personality elements of the narcissistic pervert.

Narcissistic perverts (NP) are egomaniacs, who think only of themselves and lack empathy. and lack empathy. They consciously aim to devastate, suffocate and annul the other to feel above, with more self-esteem and more power.

Although it is a personality profile that occurs mostly in men, it also occurs in some women. In this article we will talk about its characteristics.

Characteristics of narcissistic perverts

If you want to know if you have been or are with a narcissistic pervert, read on. Below I summarize the main characteristics of these people (note, you do not have to comply with all of them...).

1. Great social skills

They like to be liked and therefore usually have the gift of gab.. They are duped and dazzle with details: flowers, letters, looks of affection... Therefore, they come in pack with the gift of emotional manipulation. They are, in short, admired and on the other hand feared, since they can bring to light any vulnerability we have told them in order to hurt us.

Tremendously susceptible to criticism.

They never do anything wrong or wrong, it is the other person who is crazy and who has problems. They react out of anger by making you feel afraid so that you don't question them..

3. As their name indicates, they are perverse

If you try to defend yourself from them, they will defend themselves from attacking you.. They will look for your vulnerable point, "your weak point" to try to make you feel bad and thus manipulate you more easily.

4. They constantly try to shine, above you.

If you tell them about your achievements and successes, they devalue them. Theirs are always more important.

5. They tend to punish a lot

Within their Wide range of manipulation strategies, they use punishment a lot.. They stop talking to you for a few days, stop giving you sex or affection... or... simply disappear, the famous ghosting.

6. They do gaslighting

If you try to expose your needs or what bothers you, you are always the one who is crazy, the one with the problem, the one who should go to the psychologist, the bad mother, the bad wife, and a long etcetera.

7. They try to exaggerate your difficulties and make fun of them.

In this way they try to feel superior to youand so, sadly, they feel better about themselves. In other words, they overcompensate for their low self-esteem.

8. They look for profiles that are easy to manipulate

The partner profile that the NP is looking for are "good people" who give their all, with high empathy and sensitivity for others.with high empathy and sensitivity for others. They trick these women and men into making them shine like the star they think they are. This type of people who fall into the nets of a NP have a tendency to emotional dependency, with a certain wound of abandonment and fear of loneliness.

9. They are unclear people talking

The key characteristic of NPs is that they are ambiguous. That is to say, they alternate words or messages of affection that have nothing to do with what they are doing..

An example of them is when they say... "you are the love of my life, I can't live without you" but then prevent you from dressing the way you want or talking to other men when you want to. Or when they don't listen to you, they don't validate your needs....

Is a NP born or made?

From the theory of epigenetics we understand that all disorders have a part of genetics or personality and another part of environment. So we can say that an NP has origins in both.

As for the environment, they usually have fathers who are very similar to them, with a narcissistic style, who treat their mothers badly and play with them. In turn, these fathers also mistreat their children. The children grow up with a very large narcissistic wound, feeling that they are not important to either parent.. And from there, they try to overcompensate for their wound with their partners, friendships and successes.

In NP's one can also see a mother who overprotects the child, gives him/her messages of omnipotence and perfection, externalizes the blame to others, etc. In this way, the child grows up convinced that he is a kind of "king" and that the others have to live in subjugation as if they were slaves..

Can a PN be healed?

The answer is very clear: NO. In our practice we have many women who suffer from emotional dependency and are still chained to this type of NP profile. The first thing we tell them from the very first sessions is that they have to break with all hope of improvement, no matter how painful it may be.no matter how painful it may be.

These are people who do intentional harm, and they will never acknowledge their vulnerabilities and emotional wounds. Fighting against their change is like trying to break through a concrete wall with our bare hands.

How do I get out of a relationship with an NP?

I will explain some main guidelines that you can follow, but it is essential that you start a psychotherapeutic process. Not only to get out of the relationship, but also to recover the self-esteem that the NP has stolen from you.

1. Realize that you are next to a NP.

Analyze their verbal, non-verbal language, their deeds... and compare it with the characteristics we gave you about an NP.

2. Ask for help

Friends, family... Talk to them about this and ask them to help you to distance yourself and put an end to this relationship.

3. Focus on you and on regaining control of your life and your self-esteem.

Go out, have fun, occupy yourself with the work you like, do hobbies... When you are in a relationship with your partner.When a NP enters our life it crumbles it, it is easy to fall into a spiral of doing nothing, letting ourselves go, feeling apathetic and hopeless.

4. Start a psychotherapeutic process.

What we usually see in consultation is that we become attached to the NP (a person who does not know how to love) because we have childhood deficienciesParents who could not love us as we needed, abusive parents, absent parents, school problems, problems with the group of friends...

There will be a list of traumas and wounds that we will have to reprocess before leaving the relationship because they are preventing you from letting go. We will have to talk to the girl you were to give her encouragement, love, self-esteem... and thus recover your essence.

We get hooked to people who don't love us because we don't know how to love ourselves... and that happens because our parents couldn't love us as much as we needed. They did it in their own way, as they could, but it was not enough. Only from the reconciliation with the wounded child you were will you be able to let go of a relationship that doesn't do you good.