What is demisexuality?

Demisexuality refers to people who only feel sexual attraction towards someone with whom an affective bond has previously been established. Demisexual people are not sexually attracted without that intimacy and emotional connection previous. They are not attracted to any particular gender at first glance, although they can be being attracted to any human being, as long as an affective bond has been established before.

Demisexuality is considered the fifth sexual orientation, With:

• Heterosexuality (attraction to the opposite gender)
• Homosexuality (same-gender attraction)
• Bisexuality (attraction to both genders)
• Asexuality (there is no attraction)

 The relationship model necessary for the demisexual person to maintain an erotic approach varies greatly from one person to another, but the fundamental thing is that there is mutual knowledge, closeness and privacy.

However, the fact that there is one does not guarantee that there will be sexual attraction; it is just a prerequisite for it to occur. It is important to clarify that some demisexual people distinguish between attraction (caress, hug ...) and the attraction , although it can be difficult to tell them apart.

What is gray sexuality?

Gray sexuality or encompasses those people who are between sexuality and asexuality, that is, both extremes. The demisexuals are close to the asexuality, but they are not exactly asexual.

According to data from According to AVEN (:

• 30% feel sexual inclinations.
• 54% show indifference towards them.
• 16% say they feel repulsion

In spite of everything, there is a wide variety of feelings and ways to have sex among demisexuals.

Do demisexual people feel loneliness more?

Demisexual people often feel tremendously lonely and strange due to its orientation. They feel isolated and misunderstood by their environment Or they may even experience feelings of inadequacy, as if there is something wrong with them. Knowing that there are people who experience this in a similar way helps build a sense of community and feel supported.

Realize your own feelings

If you realize that you are demisexual, first of all, do not trouble. It is perfectly compatible to be a happy, adapted adult and to be demisexual. Sexual orientation is relatively stable, but that does not mean that it cannot be modulated or varied based on various life experiences.

• Explore, but without forcing yourself to anything.
• Do not wait passively for sexual desire to appear in you.
• Open yourself to new possibilities if you feel like it.
• Do not force yourself to feel things that you do not feel, respect your times and don't force yourself.
• Don't pigeonhole yourself into a label.
• Dare to mark your own limits.
• In case you have a partner, clearly state the type of relationship what do you want to have.

Demisexuality cannot be "cured", because it is not a problem, it is an orientation. They are all the same valid and respectable. Of course, if your lack of desire comes from an unsurpassed traumatic experience (rape, abuse ...) or if the implications of having this orientation make you feel bad, you can. The objective is that you feel liberated and comfortable with your guidance.

• It refers to people who only feel sexual attraction towards someone with whom an emotional bond has previously been established.
• The fact that there is an emotional bond does not guarantee that there will be sexual attraction. It is just a prerequisite for it to occur.
• Knowing that there are people who experience it in a similar way helps to form a sense of community, and to feel supported and empowered, which ultimately leads to improved personal safety.